Even Ripley has trouble with the health care system.

By Nick Romano
April 22, 2017 at 11:36 AM EDT
  • Movie

Stephen Colbert has the scoop on the next Alien movie: turns out Ellen Ripley is still around and this time she’s fighting the health care system in the year 2434.

Sigourney Weaver surprised the Late Show audience Friday night, reprising her iconic sci-fi horror role for an Alien sketch. “One of the first female action heroes,” Colbert said of his guest while setting up the segment. “This is so inspiring. I mean, it gave us all hope that at some point in the distant future women might be allowed to be in charge of something.”

Colbert played Randy, a worker at the medical bay at the Weyland-Yutani Corp, “where the only thing alien to us is customer service.” He’s reading the latest issue of Facehugger Fancy, teasing “5 Ways to Make [His] Chest Burst,” when Ripley storms in seeking help. Though there’s a xenomorph growing inside her, she has to wait to be served.

“Listen, Randroid. You’re gonna help me right now. You know why? Because we’re in space and in space no one can hear you scream,” Ripley said, echoing the tagline for the Alien movies. Searching for her health records, Randy uses another classic quote, this one from Aliens: “Nothing, it’s game over, it’s game over. I got nothing.”

She reminds Randy she’s “the woman who singlehandedly saved humanity every five-to-eight years for the last three decades,” but that sets him up for a Terminator burn. “Oh my god, you’re Sarah Connor?” he said.

Closing out the sketch, which you can watch above, the “burrito” Randy ingested earlier burst from his chest as a whimpering xenomorph. “Hey, listen, you,” Ripley shouted. “I was next in line. Get away from him, you bitch!”

Late Show airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m. ET on CBS.


  • Movie
  • R
  • 117 minutes
  • Ridley Scott