John Oliver wasn’t impressed with some of the world’s male leaders on International Women’s Day.
“Every year, the best way of gauging not just how far women have come, but perhaps how far they still have to go, is by watching powerful men around the world trip over their dicks while talking about the day,” said Oliver on Sunday’s episode of Last Week Tonight.
Kicking things off with Vladimir Putin, Oliver played the Russian president’s speech on the topic: “Women give us life and perpetuate it in our children,” said Putin’s translator. “We will do our utmost to surround our dear women with care and attention, so that they can smile more often.”
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“Perfect,” said Oliver, laughing. “If there are two things that women love, it’s being told to smile more and being surrounded.”
Attempting to imitate Putin, Oliver said, “Come on, baby. You’re such a pretty gender when you smile. Give Vladimir a little twirl.”
Next up was Brazilian president Michel Temer, who makes Putin look like a “model of sensitivity” in Oliver’s eyes. “Today, women participate strongly in the economy, too,” said Temer’s translator. “Nobody is more capable of pointing out changes in supermarket prices better than women.”
“Okay, okay,” said Oliver. “He just reduced the economic contribution of half of Brazil’s population to, ‘Women be shopping, y’all!'”
But Oliver argued the most “spectacular celebration” was in San Antonio, Texas, where the male co-host of Daytime at Nine, a program on a local Fox affiliate, tried to make a smooth transition from International Women’s Day to workout routines for women. “Today is International Women’s Day, so hey ladies, don’t worry, it’s your day — today you can do whatever you want,” said Esteban Solis. “And speaking of doing whatever you want, it’s Workout Wednesdays — time to get that bikini body just in time for summer.”
“That’s right, ladies — you can do whatever you want: crunches, curls, maybe some light cardio,” said Oliver, poking fun at Solis’ delivery. “The point is, keep it tight! It’s your day, but keep it tight.”
Ultimately, Oliver found Solis “so incompetent,” the comedian arrived at the conclusion that co-host Kimberly Crawford “probably does most of the heavy lifting on that show.”
“In that sense, I’m not sure that anyone this week managed to show better what a Day Without Women is all about, because Kimberly, I don’t know who you are or what you do, but I sure as s— know what happens when you’re not there,” concluded Oliver. “And first thing tomorrow, you need to go into the office and ask for a f—ing raise.”
Last Week Tonight airs Sundays at 11 p.m. ET on HBO.