Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ credibility might be tarnished after Democratic Senator Al Franken probed him on former meetings with Russian officials, but the men are actually “great friends,” according to Saturday Night Live‘s Kate McKinnon and Alex Moffatt during last night’s Weekend Update.
After all, McKinnon’s Sessions revealed Moffatt’s Franken once showed him “Jew stuff” during a white water rafting excursion, which actually turned out to be “lunch at a deli,” according to the latter.
The cornerstone of all friendships is truth, so Franken then asks Sessions to correct the record after the hearings, which saw the controversial figure disputing claims that he’d met with the Russians in 2016. Though he initially denied it, Sessions later amended congressional testimony to indicate he had met with the Russian ambassador at least twice last year.
“You caught old Sessions in the liar patch,” McKinnon’s Sessions says before Moffatt’s Franken holds out a bible, instructing him to place his hand on it. Sessions then holds up a prosthetic limb and places it atop the book.
“Well, you did not specify my biological hand, Senator Franken. This is my oathin’ hand. I’m a danger to the country,” Sessions says.
Franken then asks Sessions if he’ll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and the latter complies — sort of.
“Alababy,” Sessions responds, McKinnon nailing the real-life politician’s signature southern drawl. “That’s an Alabama maybe, or a baby dressed up like Aladdin. Not that he’d be ‘Aladdin’ the country.”
In closing, Sessions offers up a logical excuse for lying about sharing face time with the Russians.
“I was all distracted because I was trying to evade the dastardly accusations of being a racist, which I am not. Where I live, racism is simply part of the landscape,” Sessions says. As Franken asks him where he lives, Sessions responds: “The 1950s.”
Watch McKinnon’s ace impression of Sessions above.
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