In the case of Jimmy Kimmel’s unborn baby, Matt Damon, you are not the father!
Kimmel got an unwanted surprise when he and his wife, Molly, went for an ultrasound and found his longtime “mortal enemy,” Damon, walk through the door claiming to be the father. There was only one way to settle this: Maury! Maury! Maury!
Kimmel, Damon, and Molly starred in a Maury spoof to find out the baby’s paternity, with Martin Short channelling the daytime talk show host. “There is no way Jimmy is the father of Molly’s baby,” Damon shouts in a confessional video. “He’s doesn’t even have a d–.”
“If Matt is the father of Molly’s baby, I will sue him,” Kimmel said. “I will sue Molly, I will sue Maury, I will sue the baby — I will sue.”
Thankfully for Kimmel, Damon is not the father of Molly’s baby. But there was some bad news, too: neither is he. “Guess who’s coming to dinner?” Tracy Morgan said, busting out for a surprise reveal. Molly confronted Damon and her husband, “How can either of you satisy me when all you really want is each other?” As Maury joked, “It’s been obvious for years.”
As part of Kimmel and Damon’s long-running fake feud on Jimmy Kimmel Live — which includes a Tom Brady impersonation, a romance with Damon’s bff Ben Affleck, and a couples therapy bit — this sketch is one of their best.