Saturday Night Live wasted no time in going after Donald Trump during the sketch comedy show’s first new episode of 2017, mocking the president-elect over his Wednesday press conference — Trump’s first in six months.
“I’d like to start by answering the question that’s on everyone’s mind: Yes, this is real life, this is really happening,” Alec Baldwin, once again playing Trump on the show, said during the cold open. “On Jan. 20, I, Donald J. Trump, will become the 45th President of the United States, and then two months later, Mike Pence will become the 46th.”
Of the upcoming inauguration, Baldwin’s Trump said, “We have got some of the biggest performers in the world lined up. Hold on to your tits and bits because we have got 3 Doors Down. Also from America’s Got Talent, we’ve got Jackie what’s-her-face. Best of all, we’ve got the one Rockette with the least money in her savings.” (Jackie Evancho will sing the national anthem at Trump’s inauguration.)
He added, “We’ve also got some huge, A-list actors coming, like Angelina Jolie, Ryan Gosling, and Jennifer Lawrence. They will all be at my inauguration courtesy of Madame Tussauds.”
The sketch also ridiculed Trump for the unverified opposition research dossier that was published last week by BuzzFeed and included allegations of graphic sex acts. “Hey, uh, ABC News. I’d like to ask you about your big Russian pee-pee party,” said SNL cast member Pete Davidson.
“I am not talking about the pee-pee because it didn’t happen. It wasn’t as cool as it sounds,” Baldwin’s Trump responded.
After a follow-up question about the same allegations, Baldwin’s Trump said, “Guys, no, no, I do not want to talk about the pee-pee. I want to talk about what’s really important, which is jobs. Because I am going to bring back a thick stream of jobs to this country. The biggest, strongest, steadiest stream you’ve ever seen. This country will be literally showered with jobs. Because I am a major whiz at jobs. This will be a golden opportunity for me as president to make a big splash. Now who’s with me? I know you’re in. How about you? You’re in, you’re in, you’re in, you’re in, you’re in.” (The last few variations of “you’re in” sounded like “urine” as spoken by Baldwin.)
The cold open hit on a number of events from the last week, including the GOP push to repeal Obamacare, Trump’s meeting with Steve Harvey (with Kenan Thompson playing Harvey during the SNL press conference), and Kellyanne Conway’s interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, and ended with an appearance from Beck Bennett’s Vladmir Putin (who held a VHS tape labeled “Pee Pee Tape”).
Watch a clip from the cold open above.
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