’Tis the season for cheesin’
Look, I’m going to be straight with you: Hallmark movies are not high cinematic art. But, under the proper circumstances, a cheesy Christmas movie about a girl who falls in love with a generic Ken doll of a man in a small town is exactly what you need. Consider these the storebought sugar cookie dough of entertainment, and indulge whenever the mood strikes. Here, in no particular order, are our 14 favorites.
A Princess for Christmas
A pre-Outlander Sam Heughan stars as the son of a duke who hates Christmas (played by Roger Moore?!), who falls in love with an American visiting for the holidays. It’s essential for you to know that the exterior shot of their castle is the same castle as A Christmas Prince on Netflix, and yes, I identified it immediately.
The Christmas Spirit
A journalist (Nicollette Sheridan) is in a car accident, and while she’s in a coma, her ghost has to save the town from a greedy developer. Her love interest is played by Troy Bolton’s dad in High School Musical.
The Christmas Train
A journalist rides a cross-country train and falls in love with a fellow passanger. Yes, that is Dermot Mulroney! Danny Glover and Joan Cusack are also in this movie that’s kind of like Murder on the Orient Express if there was no murder.
Let It Snow
Hallmark standard Candace Cameron Bure plays a businesswoman staying at a local inn which her company is going to acquire. Three guesses as to whether she gets into the Christmas spirit?
The Sweetest Christmas
Lacey Chabert (a.k.a. Gretchen Wieners) plays a struggling baker who enters a gingerbread competition. Bakers and journalists make up 80 percent of the economy of the Hallmark universe.
Linda Hamilton stars in this TV movie, which takes place during the Battle of the Bulge, in a small cabin where a platoon of injured American soldiers have to share a cabin with German civilians.
A Crown for Christmas
Part Maid in Manhattan, part A Christmas Prince, this one is about a former hotel maid who becomes the governess to a young princess (who happens to have a hunky older brother).
The cast of this movie is John Corbett, Sam Elliott, and *checks notes* SARAH PAULSON.
Christmas Under Wraps
Another Candace Cameron Bure joint — this time, about a doctor who takes a position in a remote Alaska town.
Mingle All the Way
The woman who developed an app that’s supposed to be just for networking ends up finding love on it, with a man who can best be described as “Canada-handsome.”
Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe
Lacey Chabert is back! Now she’s a “career woman” named Darcy who’s always been too busy for love… until now.
A Ring by Spring
The plot of this movie is about a woman who’s made it to the geriatric age of 30 and still not found a generic brunnette husband.
The Nine Lives of Christmas
It’s Brandon Routh, and he plays a fireman. What else do you need to know?