By Joey Nolfi
March 18, 2019 at 05:04 PM EDT
Credit: VH1

One doesn’t simply “not know” Mariah Carey… apparently, it takes six. Such was the case for the squad of unlucky ladies who thought they could waltz through RuPaul’s Drag Race season 11’s third episode without knowing the facts of Mimi’s life.

The shudder-worthy installment of the Emmy-winning reality competition series began with a very tired A’Keria Chanel Davenport listening to the queens mourn Kahanna Montrese and bicker about Instagram hoes (“Nobody cares!” — Prophet Silky Nutmeg Ganache on Ariel Versace) before breaking the fourth wall, as her weary eyes tossed a hearty “Good God, girl, get out!” toward the camera ahead of what will go down as one of the most disastrous challenges in Drag Race herstory.

Before things got ugly, they were downright sickening as last week’s movie-spoof theme continued through an unintentional horror parody I’m titling Paranormal ActiviTea, which saw the queens trying to “get in the backdoor” of a Seduction concert by seducing the security camera.

Highlights included:

Plastique Tiara’s iconic coo:

Ra’Jah O’Hara’s “good fur:”

Nina West’s teeth:

And Silky wobbling her t—ies before tackling the door:

Nina and Ra’Jah were crowned winners, and they divided the remaining girls into teams of diva worshippers for the main challenge: a “live TV” production of a religious talk show aimed at converting non-believers to their respectively chosen musical divas of choice.

Team Nina wisely chose to worship at the Church of Britney Spears, with Nina and Vanessa Vanjie Mateo bringing down the house with their spirited performances.

Team Ra’Jah, however, bombed. Where Team Britney laced their performance with references to everything from Britney’s music to her personal life, Team Mariah incorrectly attributed the movie Sparkle (Whitney Houston’s final film) to the Elusive Chanteuse, referred to her ex-husband Tommy as “Timmy Mottola,” and even sang the chorus of Houston’s “So Emotional” when discussing Carey’s “Emotions.”

Honey (who attempted to shift the group’s selection to another diva, as her teammates admittedly retained little information about Mariah’s life) knew they were in trouble from the start…

But Ra’Jah remained unbothered, even as Scarlet Envy seized for salvation.

Back in the Werk Room, Brooke Lynn Hytes and Miss Vanjie sparked romance rumors…

… and prompted Detective A’Keria to mount an investigation into their potential coupling (“What is going on here?” she said for the second time this episode).

Not to be outdone, Yvie courted lustful eyeballs as she whipped out her “anteater” (as Vanjie described it) in an effort to paint every inch of her body for her costume (which, judging by her runway look below, she totally did NOT have to do).

As Nina showed us, a latex bodysuit works perfectly fine as a second skin.

See! Not a butt (or an “anteater”) in sight!

But that didn’t stop guest judge Troye Sivan from peeking.

After the runway, Ru immediately declared Team Britney the victors, and placed all six members of Team Mariah in the bottom (cue Naomi Smalls whispering “Club bottom siiiiix”) for a never-before-seen sextuple lip-sync.

Scarlet was gagged!

Troye was gagged!!

Ariel was in need of medical attention!

Nina was indifferent!

Yvie was butch-disgusted!

Vanjie summed it up!

Honey was tired…

… yet quickly turned to wired during an off-the-rails lip-sync that saw the Mariah Carey team getting down to a Jennifer Lopez song (the shade!).

Mama Ru wasn’t pleased…

… with, like, any of the nonsense.

And with that, Honey became the third queen to sashay away from season 11. We knew and loved her!

RuPaul’s Drag Race season 11 returns Thursday at 9 p.m. ET on VH1.

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RuPaul's Drag Race

RuPaul — as host, mentor, and creative inspiration — decides who's in and who's out.

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