Kelsey and Liza hatch a scheme to get Millennial's money back from their author who refuses to actually author
As someone who is now closer in age to 40 than 20, I pretty quickly took to my Google search bar after watching “Un-Jaded” and typed in “40-year-old shoulder.” And **shivers** it’s real. Per Wikipedia’s summary: “Adhesive capsulitis (also known as Frozen shoulder) is painful and …. is rare in children and people under 40 but peaks between 40 and 70 years of age.” So definitely not a made-up condition for the sake of the show and its “We Must Make Liza Look Old” vendetta.
Anyway, Liza’s frozen shoulder plays a very small role in tonight’s episode. The main plotline: Operation Get Millennial’s Money Back. (If you’re some Ernst & Young type and saying to yourself, “Jade didn’t blow it all — she still has $1,200 left.” Well, slow your roll. She fritters away her final dollars on a diamond pacifier. Very on-brand.) It all starts at the morning’s staff meeting where Charles asks Liza how Jade’s book is coming along—and to see the first chapter. She agrees and is then faced with the quandary of producing said pages. The solution? Essentially, a scrap book of Jade’s social media posts, painstakingly crafted by Liza. (The most juicy tidbit: Marie Claire‘s enema retreat.)
“How are you going to write the rest of the book?” Kelsey asks Liza.
“I may not have to,” she responds.
Meanwhile, Diana is dealing with author woes of her own. After signing male feminist Hugh Shirley, she’s stuck listening to him wax poetic about the plight of women (“Those who pee standing up are above those who pee sitting down”) and trying to approximate the female experience as closely as he can (ex. wearing a tampon for a week.) Fed up, Diana lashes out at him, saying that he will never know what it’s like to be a woman.
“I just want to be inside you,” he finally admits. And then they make out. I’m not even sure how this happened. And then, strangely, Hugh sends Diana home alone because of some free-will babble, I think? Honestly, I was a little confused about his motivations here.
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Across town, Liza and Kelsey’s scheme is unfolding nicely. After Lauren “leaks” the first chapter to The Cut, causing a publishing house feeding frenzy, Kelsey makes drink plans with her douchey former co-intern Brad, who’s now a big shot at Achilles, which seems to be Younger‘s version of Amazon. She dangles the Jade carrot in front of Brad and he bites, offering Kelsey double Jade’s advance to acquire the book.
Kelsey now has $500,000 in her coffers and offers Jade the best kiss-off. When the wild child says she doesn’t want her book at Achilles, Kelsey answers:
“Bitch, there is no book.”