I completely agree, there are a lot of elements of this that just do not make sense.
You want a recap? Fine, here’s your recap:
“I had to break up with Donna after Yaron tried to make us have a threesome. And then Camp Tigerclaw showed up because Andy stole Katie away from Blake, and they tried to destroy the camp. And then, well, right after that, President Reagan and the U.S. military also tried to destroy the camp, but that was also after they shot Eric, the hermit who lived at camp and turned out to be a musical legend. And then that new counselor Lindsay, well she saved us all because she was secretly a rock-magazine journalist. And then Gail blew off Jonas at their wedding, and his name was actually Gene, and he fought in Vietnam. And Gene also got beaten up by an assassin named Falcon, who tried to kill Beth and did kill Greg and this guy Jim Stansel. But then he [Falcon] turned out to be good the whole time, which I acknowledge doesn’t make any sense, and he was only here to protect Mitch, who was turned into a can of vegetables. And then also Ben and McKinley are dating, Susie hooked up with Claude, Neil got laid, Victor didn’t get laid, and Abby had her period. So, it was a hard day.” —Gerald Cooperberg
That sums it up! I’ll just also note that Wet Hot‘s take on the classic fight-in-the-kitchen trope (a la Spy) was, as Neil might say, spot-on — just terrific stuff. Both as foes and as friends, Jon Hamm and Christopher Meloni (two typically “dramatic” actors who are unfairly funny to boot) worked off of each other incredibly well — I’d love to see the two of them paired together in a prequel about their time in the switch-ops.
Also, it’s a pleasant surprise that the genius rock song that Eric of the Rockin’ Knight had been working on for so long is “Higher and Higher,” which more or less served as the soundtrack of The Movie.
This takes us to the denouement, if you will, which more or less gets us to exactly where we kick off in The Movie.
Yaron and Donna are leaving Camp Firewood for a yurt. Andy is already so tired of Katie. Coop is already eyeing Katie, his next big crush. Nancy’s already saying the word “pussy.” Victor and Abbi are already flirting. Ron and Gail are engaged. And Mitch has promoted Beth to head camp counselor. On top of all that, she has also finally catches the eye of the professor next door.
And, of course, Eric is dead for good…. Or is he?
Best Lines (You Know, From Before):
Ronald Reagan: Well, John, I’ll do my best. But war can be a nasty business.
John: I understand sir.
Ronald Reagan: Do you, John?
Neil: Do you want me to stick it in?
Neil: Are you sure you want me to stick it in?
Sherri: Yes, and please stop saying that.
Falcon: I was on your side the whole time!
Beth: Why did you have to kill Greg and Jim Stansel?
Falcon: I’ll admit… that part was pretty weird.
Falcon: Okay, I’m hearing you, and what I’m hearing is that what is bothering you is that many lives were lost. Now I don’t have an answer that I feel is going to satisfy you…
Falcon: I completely agree. There are a lot of elements of this that just do not make sense.
Gene: No, I said… Puget Sound. I’m going to take the train caboose to Puget Sound, leave me alone.
Coop: We brokered a truce, don’t you remember? Do we want to give up three summers of peace over nothing?! The 1978 Accord of Lake Winnasuke, was that nothing to you?
Andy, to Blake, for no reason: We’re not so different after all.
Person in Crowd: He saved friendship with a song!
Ronald Reagan: I may be the most powerful person in the modern world, but there’s one thing I’ve never been able to conquer — and that is freedom of press.
McKinley: The American people elected you to office, and excuse my French, but when are you going to get off your duff and do something?
Ronald Reagan: Good point, McKinley.
Ron: What’s happening right now?
Gail: I don’t know, but I want to find out.
Drew: Come on, nothing happened last night. I made a move, she wasn’t into it. We mostly talked about Eddie Murphy.
Mitch: Staying faithful to me would be a mistake. Look at me, I’m a can of vegetables.
Beth: Don’t say that!
Mitch: Why not? It’s true. I’m a can of vegetables.
Mitch: You can rejuvenate this place with a new energy. So much so that by the end of August, everyone will feel like they’re 15 years younger. 1981 is going to be the best summer ever.