Nancy has to deal with a failing, suspiciously smelly crop, an unreliable new source, and two troubled boys; plus, Celia turns into Gangsta Barbie
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”Weeds” recap: Nancy’s supply crisis

”Thug means never having to say you’re sorry.” OG Nancy will keep telling herself that as she continues to embrace her inner criminal. In death, U-Turn has become a source of strength and an unlikely guide. She even went so far as to tattoo a U-turn sign on her, uh, lower back. And she didn’t even sleep with him, not that it would surprise Conrad in the least if she had (or us, for that matter).

So how do you follow up that explosive ending last week? By bringing on the sexual innuendos, of course. Nancy’s stash is a little short these days, and Conrad can’t seem to, ahem, fill her up fast enough. (How Romany Malco managed to say that with a straight face, I don’t know.). What’s a mom to do? Go to another source, naturally. But the Botwins, with blinders on as usual, almost naturally gravitate toward the sketchy, untrustworthy, and inherently inept, and this short-lived partnership with Chess and Agrestic’s baddest biker gang is no exception.

What’s an Andy booty call worth anyway? Certainly not the advances of an all-too-well-informed bully, or a pound of scrappy weed, even if it is on consignment. Now let’s do the math. With the ten percent discount, Nancy’s purchase comes out to around $280 an ounce, or $35 an eighth. Wouldn’t she have had some idea that this wasn’t exactly kind bud? Midgrade, at best, and no match for the MILF or her man Conrad’s, er, growing skills. Is it any surprise the customers weren’t into it?

So this transaction was flawed from the beginning, but complicating matters even more are a super-stinky grow operation (or, as Heylia put it, ”skunk attack”) smack in the middle of an upper-middle-class neighborhood (not to mention a stolen 18-foot cross being used for artificial light), the sting of a smaller harvest, a dalliance that, for now, must be kept secret, and a loonier than usual ”gangsta Barbie” Celia (though the smoke break with Heylia was one of her warmest moments. Isn’t it ironic that a house built under the guise of worship would end up being a hot bed of sin? Then again, that’s what Majestic’s all about, isn’t it?

Which brings us around to Sullivan Groff, who, after coming face-to-face with the wrath of Hodes in his office (to the tune of one my favorite bands, Lavender Diamond), looks ready to bail on this insta-town and head for the next prefab Jesus colony. And while we hadn’t seen him partake thus far, Sullivan has now joined the old senile guy, the dudes at the Manhole (who, as Sanjay noted, smoke everything), and his nemesis Doug as just another of Nancy’s clients, inadvertently paying into Celia’s monthly coffer (ah, the irony once again) and having to settle for schwag in the process. Then there’s the matter of Tara, Silas’ on-and-off girlfriend and Sully’s unlikely buddy. What is her story anyway, and where is it going?

But more important, what will become of Silas and Shane, who really seem to be getting the short end of the stick here. Let’s take a look at their responsibilities: Since Nancy is, for all intents and purposes, an absentee parent, Shane is in charge of home security, maintenance, and taking care of the kids, namely himself. That’s a lot of adult for a kid still in elementary school. No wonder he’s disassociating, saying things like ”I don’t believe in miracles, I believe in Pittsburgh,” and imagining conversations with his dead dad. Silas shoulders the daily burden of tending to the crop, moving bags, and bringing home the bacon. Mom, meanwhile, does little more than slurp on a frappuccino all day. So now that her eldest got a biker beat-down and her youngest seems to be losing touch with reality, maybe she’ll finally wake and to smell that frozen coffee. And isn’t it about time?

This week, the theme song was sung by Laurie Berkner. I give it an 8 out of 10.

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