Vanderpump Rules reunion recap: 'Guys, shut the f--- up!'
In lieu of recapping a recap, I’ve combed through the most important moments and revelations of the evening.
- Tom Sandoval’s hair is keeping the reunion from starting on time.
- Stassi says it’s been 6 months since the “dark passenger” has made an appearance.
- Kristen announces that she’s single, which shocks a good portion of the group including Stassi.
- Kristen’s choker is absurd.
- James only speaks to Sandoval, Ariana, Scheana, and Schwartz and has no regrets about burning all his bridges.
- Scheana admits she’s only dating “f— bois” and Andy applauds her decision.
- Scheana and Adam are still “hangin and bangin.”
- Lala thinks it’s no big deal that Randall isn’t on camera and everyone else thinks it’s unfair.
- Lala implies Randall isn’t on the show because of his career but this is the man who produced Gotti.
- Lotta discussion about the two Toms involvement in TomTom and how they feel sorta undervalued.
- Raquel shows up looking like she’s auditioning for the Met Gala “Camp” theme and then announces she’s interviewed for a job at SUR. SIGH.
- Raquel refers to herself as a “beauty queen” maybe 3 times.
- She admits she doesn’t think that James was fully faithful to her before they moved in together.
- “Just because you have a vagina doesn’t mean I’m going to support you.” Lala to Raquel.
- Raquel and Lala are never gonna become friends.
- Lisa can barely get through talking about her recently deceased brother.
- There is a massive sort of hard to follow screaming match that begins with Jax and James and devolves into one huge shouting bonanza.
- James and Jax almost start fighting until Andy breaks it up. Andy has become so much braver since being couch tossed by Teresa!
- Why is James still on this show?
- “Guys, shut the f— up!” Andy Cohen fittingly ending this part of the reunion.