Vanderpump Rules recap: Girls fight out
Billie Lee and Katie declare war on each other while Lala and Scheana try "acting."
What are your favorite holidays? Christmas? Halloween? OOTD Day? The latter is the brainchild of Stassi Schroeder—yes Stassi has created her own national holiday. “OOTD” stands for “Outfit of the Day” and has been made a legit thing by Stassi. She like sent in some forms and registered a website or something. It basically seems like the equivalent of getting a therapy dog registered—you fill out a form and send a check.
Meanwhile, Billie Lee is making her own mark in WeHo: the Sur hostess now has her own brunch on the weekends. She’s shocked, though, that Katie and Kristen show up, especially after Billie made it clear that she thinks Kristen instigates James. Like a well-mannered new hostess, Billie bee-lines over to the gals and says she’s shocked that they’re there. Then she and Kristen start getting into it over James. “Her energy smells like dog s—,” says Billie Lee of Kristen. I can only imagine this is ruining other people’s enjoyment of their huevos rancheros.
Since James can no longer work at Sur and do his See You Next Tuesday party, the ladies, led by Katie, decide to launch their own night. They all head to Katie’s and Tom’s apartment, which feels like it could benefit from a Marie Kondo visit, and brainstorm ideas. The girl power vibe quickly ends though as it just devolves into a gossip session. Apparently, Jax had been there earlier and started freaking out about getting married. Katie mentions this and then Brittany starts flipping out and storms off upset. She seems to be tired of people dissecting her relationship. Well, gurl, you may wanna rethink being on a reality television show then.
The highlight of the episode for me is Lala’s and Scheana’s “acting” class. Apparently, Scheana is getting back in touch with her craft. She had a meeting with her manager wherein she explained that she thinks she can still play a college student. That’s like me saying I could portray a football player. So their acting coach is a woman named Shannon Sturges who was on The WB show Savannah with Blake Lively’s sister Robyn! Um hellloooo ICON. The fact that no one brings this up is shocking to me. But then again this acting class seems to consist of mostly porn scenarios. First, the ladies do a scene where Lala is Scheana’s boss but it becomes mostly about Scheana’s terrible life choices. Then, they both perform fake orgasms…for no apparent reason. Scheana claims she never had a real orgasm until last year so she’s real good at them. Also, that’s some real intense shade directed at her past boyfriends. After fake climaxing in front of each other, she and Lala exclaim, “That was so fun!” This is not a bonding experience I’ve ever shared with any of my friends or coworkers.
Sooo, in between all of this, we sorta revisit Tom Sandoval collaborating with James on music in the form of Tom playing the trumpet. It’s like when I thought I could be in a band in middle school but could only play “Ode to Joy” on the piano. Not everyone is born for musical greatness.
Finally, it’s time for Girls Night In, the new Tuesday party from the Sur ladies. But there’s controversy even before the party starts: Billie wasn’t invited or told by any of the other women so she feels slighted as the only trans woman at Sur. She also tweeted her feelings and it became a whole thing on social media. Billie still shows up and gets mad at Katie who is not prepared to listen to any of it. Katie thinks its offensive that Billie would even insinuate that she’s transphobic. It all ends with Billie telling Lisa that she feels slighted. “She pulls her fat card, I will pull my trans card,” Billie says to Lisa. This is a primo reunion quote—mark my words.