Brittany's family comes to support her while James finds himself in some drama that is definitely not about pasta.

By Tim Stack
January 29, 2018 at 10:00 PM EST
Bravo
type
  • TV Show
Network
Genre

Life is just rough for poor old Jax Taylor. He’s constantly putting out fires…of course, he’s the one who like leaks gasoline wherever he goes and then casually tosses matches. So I’m not sure one can ever really feel bad for him.

But he’s really put under the glare of Brittany’s family in this episode. Not only does Brittany’s mom, Sherri, show up, but also older sister Tiffany comes for a little vacay. I have to say, though, Sherri’s lip color choices are much more evolved than previous sightings.

Speaking of awkward situations, Lala and Katie go out to lunch. Lala wants to try to make amends with Katie and also bandage her relationship with Scheana. Lala feels like one step away from Parent Trap-ing this whole situation.

Then, it’s time for Peter’s and Carter’s joint birthday parties. Ariana is just psyched to be invited because Peter typically only invites the guys to his parties. Meanwhile, Stassi is annoyed to be there date-less because her boyfriend, Patrick, decided to take a solo vacation to Amsterdam. Hmmmm. She might wanna reexamine that whole decision.

During the party, Lala is all sunshine and rainbows and wanting the ladies to all get along. But then all of a sudden Scheana starts coming for Katie and Lala goes BONKERS. Like she starts talking in what I’d like to call a Muppet voice. Schwartz then goes after Scheana and calls her fake and a “bootleg Kardashian.” Now that’s a pretty good one for Schwartz.

The next day James and Lala play tennis, during which James just talks a lotta crap about Lala’s relationship. He says she and her man love private jets and like weekday trips to the Beverly Hilton. But she also brings up Logan and says she thinks Logan wishes that James were gay. Uh duh. We all have the ability to see, Lala.

Coincidentally, Tiffany also has some tea to spill: Logan was giving her a ride home after Peter’s and told her that he and James were sleeping together. This seems like an odd thing to share with a basically complete stranger but Logan seems like he might need some friends.

The fellas all decide to try to work out the next day with Guillermo at his boxing gym. Sandoval is a jump rope whiz and admits people have challenged him to competitions, which sounds both ludicrous and like something that would actually happen to Sandoval. But in between punching bag action Jax tells James about the rumors Logan is spreading. James gets upset but mostly because no one seems particularly shocked by these tales. In fact, Schwartz thinks there’s at least a “77 percent chance that some part of James’ penis has been in Logan’s mouth.” Schwartz is really delivering some good one-liners in this episode!

The next day Kristen and Stassi come to have a meal at Sur a.k.a. gossip about people. No one likes fried goat cheese balls that much. Lala has not heard the rumors about James and Logan but she also is not shocked by it. Kristen, ever the one to insert herself in other people’s business, doesn’t think James is gay but does think he’s waded in the man pond. It’s weird when people on Bravo shows use terminology from Watch What Happens Live. It’s a little like breaking the fourth wall.

At a wine tasting, Raquel is clearly annoyed about the Logan rumors. James just says it comes with the territory: “The whole world wants to have sex with James Kennedy.” Raquel pauses and gives her own take: “I don’t think so.” BRUTAL.

James feels like he’s gotta just nip this rumor in the bud. So he heads to Brittany and Jax’s apartment to talk to Tiffany. She confirms that Logan did indeed tell her they were sleeping together. James calls Logan on speakerphone to confront him. Now, first off, if you’re on a reality show and someone puts you on speakerphone, you need to know that other people ARE DEF listening in the same room. But Logan finally comes clean and says he made up the lie because he’s in love with James. They hang up and James starts crying and storms out of the apartment. It’s all kinda sad.

It’s finally time for Brittany’s family to leave. Sherri really worked out some cute romper looks this trip but, unfortunately, returned to her bad lip color for the final moments. I’m not even sure what she said to Brittany because I was imagining her lips in a better shade.

Episode Recaps

type
  • TV Show
seasons
  • 7
Genre
Premiere
  • 01/07/13
Network
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