Vanderpump Rules recap: Scheana storms off the reunion
Jax makes everyone cry and gets in a screaming fight with Scheana
The sixth season of Vanderpump Rules may be over but thankfully we have 13 installments of the reunion to keep us satisfied (JK, there are only 3 installments). Since a reunion is basically a recap, I’m just gonna break down the highlights of this hour which could very easily have been titled “Tears & Tatas.” My thoughts below:
- I’m guessing there’s a lotta double-stick tape being used backstage given the levels of male and female cleavage.
- Jax and Brittany are back together but Scheana and Lala are on the out. It’s a PJ-related falling out (more on that later).
- Shortly before he cheated on Brittany, Jax actually spoke about having children with her.
- Jax confirms he “did not see” the elderly woman who was laying there asleep while he and Faith got it on.
- “It did look like an old woman’s house but I didn’t know there was an old woman in there.” Jax Taylor, ladies and gentleman.
- “It could have been a damn whole in the wall.” Jax explaining how he would have cheated with anything including…well…a hole in the wall.
- James claims that he and Logan have never hooked up [insert eye rolls].
- Lala then calls James the “White Ray J” and says something both crude and incomprehensible.
- Stassi legit has no idea why she got back together with Patrick but feels like she wasted four years of her life.
- No one brings up how oily his forehead was but Andy Cohen does reveal someone on Twitter called Patrick a “douche canoe.”
- Jax talks about the death of his father in December and it’s actually genuinely moving. Nearly everyone sheds a tear.
- The Toms flew to Florida to be with him and then Stassi, Kristin, and Rachel all flew to Detroit for another memorial.
- It’s revealed that Lisa Vanderpump never signed a contract with Sandoval and Schwartz for TomTom. YEOW. Good luck fellas!
- “If they don’t like it, they can suck it!” Lisa V on if the two Toms don’t enjoy the bar’s decor.
- Lala and Scheana get into a huge fight over Lala not asking Scheana to fly on her private jet, aka “PJ.”
- Lala feels like Scheana dropped her as a friend now that Scheana’s in Vegas doing a show.
- Scheana says that she thinks Rob basically stayed with her through the show so she didn’t have another “I broke up” storyline.
- “Rob genuinely broke my heart.” Scheana on their fall-out.
- Rob apparently now texts with Jax to hang out with him which is super sketch.
- Jax gets in a screaming fight with Scheana over the fact she didn’t call him when his dad died; she maintains that she texted him which Brittany corroborates.
- But Scheana walks off stage because her eyelashes are falling off. That is an emergency in Vanderpump land. There is a team waiting to reapply them.
- Kristin walks over and hugs Jax and tells him he’s “misdirecting” his anger at Scheana. He keeps screaming.
- Sandoval takes a swig from a flask.
- “Why is this harder than my divorce?” cries Scheana.
- Katie maybe says one sentence the entire first part of the reunion.
Next week: MORE YELLING!!!