Jax makes everyone cry and gets in a screaming fight with Scheana
Vanderpump Rules - Season 6
Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo

The sixth season of Vanderpump Rules may be over but thankfully we have 13 installments of the reunion to keep us satisfied (JK, there are only 3 installments). Since a reunion is basically a recap, I’m just gonna break down the highlights of this hour which could very easily have been titled “Tears & Tatas.” My thoughts below:

  • I’m guessing there’s a lotta double-stick tape being used backstage given the levels of male and female cleavage.
  • Jax and Brittany are back together but Scheana and Lala are on the out. It’s a PJ-related falling out (more on that later).
  • Shortly before he cheated on Brittany, Jax actually spoke about having children with her.
  • Jax confirms he “did not see” the elderly woman who was laying there asleep while he and Faith got it on.
  • “It did look like an old woman’s house but I didn’t know there was an old woman in there.” Jax Taylor, ladies and gentleman.
  • “It could have been a damn whole in the wall.” Jax explaining how he would have cheated with anything including…well…a hole in the wall.
  • James claims that he and Logan have never hooked up [insert eye rolls].
  • Lala then calls James the “White Ray J” and says something both crude and incomprehensible.
  • Stassi legit has no idea why she got back together with Patrick but feels like she wasted four years of her life.
  • No one brings up how oily his forehead was but Andy Cohen does reveal someone on Twitter called Patrick a “douche canoe.”
  • Jax talks about the death of his father in December and it’s actually genuinely moving. Nearly everyone sheds a tear.
  • The Toms flew to Florida to be with him and then Stassi, Kristin, and Rachel all flew to Detroit for another memorial.
  • It’s revealed that Lisa Vanderpump never signed a contract with Sandoval and Schwartz for TomTom. YEOW. Good luck fellas!
  • “If they don’t like it, they can suck it!” Lisa V on if the two Toms don’t enjoy the bar’s decor.
  • Lala and Scheana get into a huge fight over Lala not asking Scheana to fly on her private jet, aka “PJ.”
  • Lala feels like Scheana dropped her as a friend now that Scheana’s in Vegas doing a show.
  • Scheana says that she thinks Rob basically stayed with her through the show so she didn’t have another “I broke up” storyline.
  • “Rob genuinely broke my heart.” Scheana on their fall-out.
  • Rob apparently now texts with Jax to hang out with him which is super sketch.
  • Jax gets in a screaming fight with Scheana over the fact she didn’t call him when his dad died; she maintains that she texted him which Brittany corroborates.
  • But Scheana walks off stage because her eyelashes are falling off. That is an emergency in Vanderpump land. There is a team waiting to reapply them.
  • Kristin walks over and hugs Jax and tells him he’s “misdirecting” his anger at Scheana. He keeps screaming.
  • Sandoval takes a swig from a flask.
  • “Why is this harder than my divorce?” cries Scheana.
  • Katie maybe says one sentence the entire first part of the reunion.

Next week: MORE YELLING!!!

Episode Recaps

Vanderpump Rules
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