The Vampire Diaries recap: That '70s Show
You know what this episode felt like, a drag race. For months, we’ve been at the starting line of Silas’ story, revving our engines, and finally, we got the green flag and zoom. We sped to the finish line and got all the answers we needed to care about this arc.
And bonus: No Humanity Elena was less annoying this episode.
We opened with a flashback to 1977, when a couple walked along an empty New York City street near the Empire State Building and spotted a man playing dead on the sidewalk. Oh, Damon, we know this trick. No, he’s not the Son of Sam serial killer; he’s the Son of Giuseppe. Bye-bye. (If you haven’t seen our video with Ian Somerhalder helping us imagine what Stefan would have looked like in the ’70s, you’ll want to click here.)
While Damon told Elena that they were in New York City so she could feed — “There’s so much life, a little death goes unnoticed.” As someone who works in New York, that’s comforting. While Elena was off getting her hair done, Damon gave Stefan an update over the phone: He’s there because his buddy Will used to get fake IDs for vampires (that would be a booming business now that you think about it), and he thinks Katherine was one of his clients.
Back at Salvatore Mansion, Klaus interrupted Caroline’s clean-up duty (is she living there now, too, because of the shower situation?), and after she told him she can hate him for driving Tyler away even if Tyler was plotting to kill him, Stefan revealed he’d asked Klaus over because they need his help to find Silas.
So apparently Silas really is using Shane’s body (or rather a double, I guess). He said he wants her to complete the Expression triangle with another 12-soul sacrifice.
Klaus got an update on Silas that was really a refresher for us, so thank you, Stefan: Silas wants to die and be reunited with his one true love. But he’s supernatural, so if he takes the cure and dies, he gets stuck in the other side. If he destroys the other side all together, he can take the cure, die, and pass on. But in destroying the other side, every dead supernatural being will return to our side. Klaus cares because he has a lot of enemies he’s killed over the years. Stefan said they have to find Silas before he can complete the third massacre. I can’t believe we’re finally at the third massacre!
In New York, Damon took Elena to Billy’s, the underground club he frequented in the ’70s. He used to kill people to get their IDs for Will, and Will would let him feed in the club. Damon was asked to get a lot of 5’7” brunettes for Will to give a client who was a runner. In a flashback, he was about to feed when Lexi stopped him. “You got Lexi’d?” Elena asked in present day. And then Damon’s head was down on the table. It was Rebekah, pissed that he left without her.
Rebekah told Elena that Damon was there following a cure lead, but Damon seemed to save it. The flashback continued, and we found out that Stefan had heard about Damon being reckless all the way in Mystic Falls and sent Lexi to find out what had flipped his switch. Elena pretended she was mad because Damon was clearly going to try to Lexi her. He went to the bar, and Elena admitted to Rebekah that she was returning the favor and playing him right back. She wants to find the cure first so he and Stefan can’t shove it down her throat.
NEXT: A new love triangle?
While searching professor Shane’s office, Caroline, Klaus, and Stefan traded barbs. Klaus compared the fun he used to have with No Humanity Stefan to that which Damon must be having with No Humanity Elena in New York. Stefan said Damon knew what he was doing – meaning staying on target and not sleeping with Elena. And Klaus said not to underestimate the allure of darkness: Even the purest hearts are drawn to it. CLOSE-UP ON CAROLINE INCASE YOU MISSED IT! This almost made me wish we’d start this love triangle officially: Good Stefan, Bad Klaus, and Conflicted Caroline.
Caroline found a book that revealed that the third sacrifice, following a dozen humans and a dozen demons, had to be a dozen witches. Cut to Silas telling Bonnie that she could bring them back. Caroline was worried that Bonnie would be one of the dozen. No, she’s the one who has to endure the witches fighting back, channeling each other one by one using spirit magic until they’re all linked as one, and then kill them.
Bonnie’s dad came home, and she blew out the windows of the living room — good special effects! — to convince her dad that they needed to call her mom and get them witches, a lot of witches. Bonnie certainly took some of the fan heat off No Humanity Elena this week.
Speaking of, we found out Lexi didn’t heal Damon with Bon Jovi concerts (wrong decade) because she could feed with Damon. Flashback to them double-teaming a woman in the club, which is what Damon and Elena did now. He then relinquished his side of the neck to Rebekah. You know Damon wanted to say how hot that was, so why didn’t he? It’s interesting how sometimes the bite kills someone instantly, and other times two vampires can feed on someone for FOREVER and she lives. Elena saw Damon sneak off. He was in Will’s apartment, which kinda looked like a set we’d seen before with more clutter. But let’s go with it.
In the woods, Bonnie met one of her mother’s old witch friends, who brought her entire coven, which was conveniently 11 other people. She said they’d cleanse Bonnie of Expression, but it wouldn’t be pretty. Good luck!
At the bar, the victim did survive — and no one noticed the three hot girls “making out,” please — and Rebekah proposed that she and Elena work together since Elena wants rid of the cure and Rebekah wants to take it so she can start her own family someday. Elena shot her down because Rebekah’s hopes and dreams are a variable she didn’t need. Even Rebekah misses the old Elena now.
NEXT: Beware the white eyes
As Caroline and Klaus flirted over geometry while trying to pinpoint where the third massacre would take place in the Expression Triangle, Stefan had tried to get a hold of Bonnie and got her dad instead. Stefan figured out Silas was with her.
In the woods, Bonnie was on her back, writhing in pain. She was fighting back, so the witches had to link. Her eyes glossed over white. That was freaky! I wish Bonnie’s magic would be more visually disturbing like that instead of so many candles.
In Will’s apartment, Damon phoned Stefan as he searched Will’s files. He thought the clients were filed under their birthdates, and he couldn’t remember Katherine’s. “June 5, 1473,” Stefan said immediately. “And that, brother, is why you are the better boyfriend,” Damon said. Ha! He discovered a sheet of addresses for Katherine, mostly post office boxes. Elena found him, and they went back downstairs. She wanted him to finish his story about Lexi.
Lexi had partied with Damon for months, and late every night, she’d torture him asking him to talk about Katherine. Love is the most powerful emotion, Lexi said, so she thought she could flip his switch if he’d just let himself remember what it was like to love Katherine. Lexi wasn’t giving up — Damon had asked her to help Stefan back in 1864, and now Stefan had asked her to help him.
I really didn’t buy what happened next, but Lexi did: Damon told her that the person he cared about wasn’t Katherine, it was her. I was waiting for him to snap her neck while he kissed her. I knew he just wanted to shut her up. But he didn’t. They had one hot and heavy night together that ended on the rooftop.
Elena grabbed a bottle and wanted to hear the rest of the story on the roof. As Damon led her away, Elena smirked at Rebekah, and Rebekah took down a guy who dared to touch her. Hilarious.
Back in the woods, Stefan went in one direction and Klaus and Caroline went in the other. Shouldn’t they all have been using vamp speed instead of walking slowly? Klaus and Caroline went at it again, and Klaus articulated exactly why we love supernatural bad boys like himself: “So you’ve never felt the attraction that comes when someone who’s capable of doing terrible things, for some reason, cares only about you?”
Caroline said she did once, when she thought he was worth it. But it turns out some people can’t be fixed: “People who do terrible things are just terrible people.” Klaus looked so wounded, which is really what Joseph Morgan does best. And you knew Caroline would eat those words, but man, I didn’t know it would be that quickly.
They were in the wrong spot, which meant it was Stefan who showed up and told the witch working on Bonnie that Silas had brainwashed her to kill them. The witch took out a blade and prepared to stab Bonnie then, because if Silas has her she’s lost. Stefan tried to stop her, and she gave him a massive headache. Klaus and Caroline appeared, and Klaus said they couldn’t stop the witch now because she’s linked to the others. Caroline ran, even as Klaus shouted, “No!,” and made the witch stab herself. All the witches fell, one at a time. “The triangle is complete,” a white-eyed Bonnie said. Why did Caroline have to stab the woman in the heart? Why couldn’t she just go for the leg and grab Bonnie’s body and bolt?
NEXT: Silas is finally cool
Back in New York, Elena made a move on Damon, telling him she’d never done it on a roof and that he didn’t have to take the high road now because the sire bond isn’t in play. She put her hand in his back pocket, which would have been hot had she not been looking for the sheet of addresses. He knew what she was doing all along, because he’d invented that game.
In the flashback, we saw Lexi wake up and almost burn. Damon had made sure the door wouldn’t open, so she’d have to stay there, hidden in the doorway all day, while he could make his escape. The difference between him and Stefan is simple, he said: “He’s a victim, I choose to be this way.” Dick!
In present day, Damon said he was trying to save Elena from doing the one thing when her emotions were turned off that she can’t take back. When he got his humanity back, Lexi was a walking-talking reminder of all the awful things he’d done. He avoided her until she showed up for Stefan’s birthday that time. With the rush of memories came a rush of guilt. That’s why he killed her. Out of sight, out of mind.
Elena still insisted she’s not taking the cure, and Damon assured her she would, even if they have to break her neck or tie her up till they find it. And snap! Rebekah was there to break his neck. She has such great timing. They smiled at each other. A new alliance has formed.
Bonnie woke up and sweet Stefan was there. She didn’t remember anything after Jeremy trying to pry the cure out of Silas’ hands on the island. Stefan attributed the memory loss to the witches’ work on her mind. Your heart sunk when it became clear that Stefan would have to tell her that Jeremy was dead. Stefan has the worst luck, but really, would you want anyone else to deliver bad news to you?
In the woods, Klaus dug 12 graves for the 12 witches. Nice of him, I thought. Klaus said Caroline could tell herself she did it to save her best friend, but the math doesn’t lie: One life lost is better than 12. It sunk in: “I just killed 12 people,” she said, her face appropriately horrified.
I loved the switch in Klaus’ face. It looked like he was going to help her through compulsion. “You look like you’re in need of comfort,” he said. Then he paused. “Why don’t you find someone less terrible that you can relate to?” DICK. And yet, she deserved it. Caroline left, and Silas appeared face to face with Klaus.
While Elena and Rebekah set off on their girls’ road trip in Damon’s car, Stefan and Damon traded failure stories over the phone. Silas has everything he needs but the cure. Which is why we cut to him pressuring Klaus to get it for him. Klaus laughed and said he wasn’t afraid of him, but then, Shane pulled out the white oak stake, which he’d retrieved having read Rebekah’s mind.
Klaus went after him, but Shane was faster or disappeared, I’m not sure which. Either way, he appeared behind Klaus and stabbed him in the spine, which caused a lot of spitting. He just wanted Klaus to have a little reminder of him. “I’ll be in touch,” he said, walking off.
Well damn, if this guy can get the drop on Klaus, Silas is some serious s—. Now, I care.
What about you? Your turn.
The Vampire Diaries
Ian Somerhalder, Nina Dobrev, and Paul Wesley star in the CW’s romance-infused vampire soap opera.