'UnREAL' recap: 'Wife'
Adam makes a deal with the devil.
UnREAL should have been titled, What Would You Do for Fame and/or Money? Granted it’s not super catchy, but that’s essentially the main theme of this show. Everyone is giving away part of their integrity, part of their body, part of their personality to get what they want. And it’s not just the wannabe starlets who sign up for a reality show—it’s the people behind the camera as well.
Oddly enough it’s not Rachel who has to sell her soul to the devil that is Everlasting this week: It’s the suitor himself. Adam—in the show’s most scandalous moment yet—has sex for money … while two men watch. But let’s figure out how we ended up there…
We’re only four episodes into UnREAL, but on Everlasting we’re down to the final 10 contestants. Or so says Graham to the mirror while a kicked-off contestant lounges in his bed. Turns out he gets quite a few perks from his gig as host.
You know who is also enjoying his job? Jeremy, who got promoted to DP since Carl left. He’s going with Rachel to scout the location for this week’s date: Adam’s vineyard. Adam promised a picturesque place, but turns out the vineyard is a mess. There’s no electricity; the building has been condemned; it’s completely a wreck. Adam thought he could use the show to get it remodeled, and he was smart enough to get the location written into his contract, so the show can’t really say no. Rachel can’t get the budget approval from Quinn, so Rachel goes straight to the top. She appeals to Chet’s ego and he helps her get the approvals to turn the power back on.
The crew makes quick work of the vineyard so the ladies—Mary, Athena, Maya, and Faith—can have their date there. But there’s drama a-brewing that could derail the date: Turns out Adam has been sexting his ex-fiancé back in Britain and the Starcatcher has news of it on the cover.
As we learned last week, this show is shot in near real-time, so this news could affect the show’s ratings within the week—plus the ladies could find out. Rachel confronts Adam about it; he doesn’t deny it, but he refuses to apologize. And yet Rachel is always one-step ahead. She not-so-secretly recycles the tabloid in view of Athena, who snatches it out of the bin and promptly shows it to the other ladies.
When Adam is backed into a corner full of ladies angry about his sexting, he immediately turns on the charm. He says how seeing Roger reminded him of home, where he’s been told all his life who he had to marry, but yada yada yada he wants something real and thinks he can find it here. The ladies all are too busy oohing and aahing to notice he says that all while throwing furtive glances at Rachel.
The forbidden flirting of Rachel and Adam really heats up this week. They stand incredibly (unnecessarily) close while talking on numerous occasions and later, he even kisses her… just to the right of her mouth, but still. Jeremy got it on tape, and Rachel feels guilty enough to delete it.
Quinn is also feeling guilty. Yes, it’s surprising she knows that feeling, but after Cynthia confronted her at the hospital last week, she’s hands off Chet. And he’s not happy about it. They handle their separation quite differently. He gets Jay to go out with him and a couple hookers to smoke weed. She goes out with Bill (played by the amazing J.R. Bourne), who was apparently the person she dumped to go out with Chet initially.
When Chet finds out Quinn went out with Bill, he one ups her: He brings his wife to the date in Napa. And two can play at this game because she then brings Bill with her to Napa, too. There’s an immediate showdown: Apparently Chet stole the idea for Everlasting from Quinn and Bill. Bill has wanted to sue for years, but Quinn says she no longer has the original lookbook, so they have no proof.
NEXT: A five-way date and a three-way afterparty
At the vineyard date, Adam tries to woo the girls with wine—lots of wine. He wants them to help create a signature blend for his vineyard. But secretly he is actually wooing two investors he met in St. Tropez. He’s hoping they will invest in his winery to help him get it up and running. And they will … as long as daddy is involved. Of course Adam wanted to go this alone, without the help of his rich father.
And so begins the wave of everyone being cranky on set: Adam is upset that he doesn’t have investors. Quinn is upset that Chet is an ass. And Rachel is upset that Quinn takes that out on her (“Stop thinking with your clit and do your job”). But the wave sweeps away just as quickly: Adam gets investors in Chet and his friend Brooks, who came up to the vineyard with his wife, Kelly.
They will each take a 20 percent share in the vineyard, leaving Adam 60 percent for himself, and there’s just one thing they want in return… Adam has to bang Kelly while Chet and Brooks watch. Ummm, what!? Chet has weird friends. Rachel walks in and sees this whole exchange—Adam even looks her right in the eye during the act. When he catches up with her later, he doesn’t even let her express her outrage. “At least Kelly enjoyed herself, which is more than I can say for the people you screw,” he throws at her. Ouch.
Quinn is also feeling a bit of a burn. She sees Jay photoshopping an Everlasting Spa & Resort logo onto the vineyard footage and becomes irate. She immediately goes to Chet and yells at him. Turns out the resort was her idea; just like Everlasting was her idea, an idea she’s not getting rich off of like Chet. And suddenly the lookbook is no longer lost.
There are a lot of balls up in the air right now, and I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to see where they all land. Plus, it looks like next week a new ball, the one called Faith’s virginity, is thrown into the mix. See you then!
- I’m really questioning Quinn’s mental state. Bill is 1,000 times better than Chet. Who dumps J.R. Bourne for … ANYBODY?
- Anna and Grace weren’t seen on camera this week (I’m assuming they just didn’t want to pay the actresses for every episode), but they’re still on Everlasting, right?
- Athena is not still on Everlasting, even though she thought she had made a final four “deal” with Adam. Playing her “black bitch” role (according to Shamiqua) until the bitter end, she goes out with lots of yelling. Do you think we’ve seen the last of her?
- Why is Mary taking so many pills? And what are they?
- Speaking of Mary, Rachel asked Adam to kiss a woman on the date in front of the others. He chose Mary, but other than impromptu kiss, they haven’t had much onscreen time yet. Hoping that will change so Ashley Scott can play a bigger part in the show.
- Faith’s “Are we supposed to be watching this?” during said kiss was the comedic highlight of the episode. I kind of hope things happen like that on the real Bachelor.