Jason and Sookie learn a family secret, while Eric makes a bold move and Bill sees the future
Oh, True Blood. You need to pick up the pace. Do not let Bilith became the Ifrit of season 6. Watching him suck the blood out of a woman without even touching her was good TV, but No Place is no place I want to visit again.
We opened with the man we can now assume is Warlow (and not a sharp-toothed pirate) making his way through to this dimension. That’s why the contract on Sookie’s bedstand had lit up apparently. The gray-haired man Jason had thought was Warlow used his light to stop the car he’d abandoned Jason in from crashing. Jason told the man to prepare to meet his maker. But wait: “I’m not Warlow, I’m your f—ing fairy grandfather,” he said. He proved he’s been watching Jason all along by referencing the time young Jason broke his middle finger and couldn’t flip off Hoyt, Jason’s football glory days, and his porn collection. Grandpa had been testing him, and Jason, who’d given his entire family history to a complete stranger, had failed. Still, Jason wants in on the fight against Warlow.
Speaking of grandfathers, at Fangtasia, Eric had returned with Nora just in time to get the silver bullet that emits UV light out of Tara before it could, in Pam’s words, bake her like a rotisserie. (Notice how Pam had called Tara “baby?”) So now they know just how prepared the humans are to fight back. Pam was scared and pissed, and Nora was worried about how they’re going to kill Bilith. Eric couldn’t handle the lady-bickering. “If the humans want war, we’ll give them war,” he said. He told Nora to scour the vampire Bible and try again to figure out what kind of monster Bill is — and then he left.
Jessica heard Bill screaming and went to him. He told her he could feel all the vampires’ pain: One was being whipped, one was being burned alive, and one was being dragged behind a truck. He said he couldn’t help them, and then he went catatonic as Jessica wept and tried to get him to wake up. The three bloody models we’d seen run into Bill’s body in the final moment of the season premiere had escorted “him” to No Place to see Lilith, who’s now clean and clothed — though the gauzy gown is see-through so we can see her hooha, for some reason. (So we’d recognize her?) She told him he doesn’t get to be just Bill Compton anymore. Something has begun. Events have been set in motion.
Arlene phoned Sookie and told her to get her ass to work at Merlotte’s, where dead Patrick’s pregnant wife showed up to ask Terry if Patrick had run out on her. Before Terry could tell her the truth, Arlene stepped in and said yes, he’d left her. At least the woman has some sort of closure, I suppose. Do we think that’s the last we’ll hear of Patrick? Let’s hope. Don’t we all want to forget that Ifrit story line happened?
On her walk to work, Sookie heard a man crying out in pain in the woods. She wasn’t going to stop, but then she did. Turns out, he’s half fairy, too, and he’d been attacked by a vampire who’d smelled his blood. Sookie took him back to her couch, where all love affairs begin. He said she reminded him of his high school sweetheart, only Sookie was nicer, and then he fell asleep.
At Merlotte’s, Arlene sat a group of out-of-town hipsters while Sam phoned to check in on Emma, who was having an AMAZING dress-up tea party with babysitter Lafayette at Sam’s house. One of the hipsters asked to talk to Sam and told him she knows he and Luna are shifters and the police are looking for Luna and her daughter. She’s Nicole Wright, co-founder of the Vampire Unity Society, and she wants Sam to come out publicly and tell his story to inspire other supernatural creatures to do the same. Sam thought she didn’t know anything about his life in Louisiana, but she earned some cred revealing that her white grandmother and black grandfather came down to the deep South to end segregation and started the Civil Rights Movement. Sam softened but still wasn’t game. Before she left, she reminded him that people are dying — he can’t sit this one out.
NEXT: Bilith gets hungry
Meanwhile, Lilith explained to Bill that God made her as vampire and Adam and Eve as humans. Though she is worshipped as a god by some, as Bill may come to be, there is only one God. A tyrant is coming, she said. Bill won the battle for her blood, so he is the one worthy of completing her work. And still, we learned nothing. Bored now. Jessica had no idea what to do. She thought perhaps Bill was hungry, so she ordered in some food — a blonde, Veronica, from Human Edibles (“We’re tasty”). Veronica said it’s $50 for a bite on the wrist, $75 for the neck, and $150 for other places. When Bill didn’t respond to Veronica’s tender offer to make him feel better, she spooked and wanted her $50 minimum before she bolted. But then we heard bones cracking, and she was violently pulled back toward Bill as her body contorted in all kinds of positions. She knelt in front of him and her left arm was bent back over her head — and then Veronica’s blood flowed out of her mouth and into Bill’s. This was nearly as shocking and disturbing as Bill’s head-twisting sex with Lorena. All Jessica could do was collapse to the floor having no idea what she’d just witnessed.
Conveniently, the hot halfling Sookie was nursing woke up just as she was finishing bandaging his arm. She told him about how she recently wanted to get rid of her fairly light so she could be normal. They talked about right and wrong and other deep things that are supposed to make viewers think it’s not crazy that Sookie just took a strange man into her house. Ben seems to have nowhere to go and isn’t used to anyone showing him kindness. Fine, you got me. I’m curious about his back story. Sookie told him about the fairy safe place. Cut to Andy being there in the field with his four daughters yelling for Maurella to come out since he doesn’t know squat about raising fairy children. She didn’t. They seem perfectly happy to just run around. How hard can it be?
Jason and Grandpa returned to Sookie’s house so Grandpa could go through the portal in Sookie’s bathroom and see if Warlow was still on that side. Bless Jason for thinking he could go to. Grandpa returned pretty quickly, and he was wet. What does that side look like? Sookie hadn’t been home because she was walking Ben to the fairy Moulin Rouge on her way to work. When he asked if he could see her again and read her mind that she was hesitating because she’d just lost Bill, it was Sookie’s turn to spook. “I shouldn’t be takin’ walks with handsome strangers, it never ends well,” she said. She told him where to find the club, and they parted ways.
Nora reading the Bible again proved fruitful. Something in this passage sparked an idea: “And so it was that the people led Lilith to the sun. And so it shall be again. As the blood ascends, two will become one. When light and dark collide, her salvation is at hand.” Before Nora darted off, she told Pam that Eric never told Pam he had a sister inside the Authority because that knowledge could have gotten Pam killed — but that Eric had often spoken to her about Pam fondly. Nora said Eric loves Pam and is what he’s most proud of. Ah, I like Nora again.
NEXT: Eric plays pretend
Eric was lurking outside the Governor’s mansion and — yay! — posed as his 5:30 p.m. human appointment. (It gets dark in Bon Temps early. Let’s just pretend not to question how Eric gets his hair to do that.) “No problemo,” Eric said, when the governor apologized for keeping him waiting. He was allegedly there from the department of wildlife and fisheries to talk about the whooping crane, but first, he listened as the governor told him how vampires had turned two children into fangers at a Chuck E. Cheese’s and then the kids later killed their parents. When Eric said perhaps the baby vamps were just trying to survive — like the whooping crane — the two had a heated exchange that ended with Eric saying, “It’s a tough f—ing bird.” Eric then tried to glamour the governor into stopping the persecution of vamps, rescinding the order to close vampire-owned businesses, and beginning to prosecute human-on-vampire crime with the same vigor as the reverse. Eric ended by telling the governor that he now loves all vampires, and the governor’s first word: “Guards!” He laughed in Eric’s face and told him it was time for humans to bite back. They’d figured out how to make contact lenses that keep them from being glamoured, and how to make weapons that will fry vamps from the inside out — and that’s just the start of it. The governor ordered Eric to be transferred to “camp.”
Sookie arrived home to find Jason waiting up for her. He introduced her to her fairy grandfather
Boba Fett Niall, and after she made the men spaghetti, we got to admire Jason’s biceps in his T-shirt as Niall told them that Warlow was now in our dimension. He said Warlow has been obsessed with the Stackhouse family for thousands of years because they’re the original Fae; they’re bloodline is royal, and he’s king of their tribe. Sorry, Jason, you’re not a Fairy Prince. Warlow had massacred Niall’s village when he was 3 or 4. He’d killed his parents, too. Niall has been tracking Warlow over the centuries, and Warlow had shown himself to one of his sons, John Stackhouse, who’d signed the pact promising Sookie to Warlow. The night Sookie’s parents were killed, Claudine had blasted Warlow into a dark realm where he’d been until now. Niall told Sookie their bloodline has a secret ability that’s been passed down through generations: They can channel their light into a single ball of energy that when released will go supernova and kill any vampire it touches. (How do you keep a straight face saying that line?) It’s a last resort for Sookie, he said. Because she’s only half fae, she can only use it once — and then she’ll no longer be fae at all. Like a Patronus is powered by a happy memory, this is powered by love, pain, secrets, hopes, and dreams.
The guards led Eric to a van but apparently had never met a vampire that could fly. Up, up, and away he went. Sam finally got home with food for Lafayette and Emma. Just then, Alcide, Martha, and Danielle (where was Rikki?) pulled up because Alcide thinks it’s best that Emma come with them now that the Feds are going to be looking for her and shifters have been exposed. Sam made a good point: The last time they trusted the pack with Emma, Russell had gotten a hold of her and Sam had found her in a cage. Luna died to keep Emma safe, and Sam was going to honor his word. Lafayette came out to say that Emma wanted to stay with Sam, and then Emma ran out saying it. Martha grabbed her, and Sam punched Alcide. As those two tangled, Danielle beat on Lafayette. Oh hell no. That is one way to guarantee viewers hate you. The Vampire Unity Society was lurking in the woods taking pictures of the whole thing.
NEXT: Let the right hot vampire in
Over at the Governor’s mansion, we saw his daughter Willa take out her contacts as she was getting ready for bed. Do all young Southern women own long, white lingerie? She went to put down the window and saw Eric there levitating. “Oh s—,” she said, presumably recognizing him as the man she’d let in to see her father earlier in the evening. “Evening Miss Burrell, why don’t you invite me in?” he said. “Of course,” she answered. And then Eric did that sexy affirmative growl. Swoon. “Come on in,” she continued. I would have loved to see how gracefully Alexander Skarsgard could crawl through a window, but alas…
We cut back to Jessica, who’d just returned to Bill’s office after burying Veronica. Again, Deborah Ann Woll is just killing it this season. Hoping he could hear her, Jessica spoke to Bill. She said if he can feel all vampires’ pain, does that mean he can feel hers? She’s scared. The world outside is chaos, and she’s not sure if he’s Lilith, if he’s god. She knelt, confessed her sins, and prayed that Bilith would watch over her friends. Bless Jason, who’s a good man in pain; Sookie, who tried to kill him but still loves Bill and has been good to Jessica; Pam, who needs to have the courage to let happiness in (meaning Tara, with whom she was sharing Ginger’s carton of blood); and even wrong-minded Eric. She asked for him to bless Arlene, Lafayette, and Sam — and the other good people of Bon Temps — as well as Hoyt (wherever he is) and Bill, who she needs brought back to her. That’s a clip for Woll’s Emmy reel next year. She got up and walked out of the room when Bill didn’t budge.
Back in No Place, Lilith told Bill he’d save them all, that he’d know what to do. “Trust what you see,” she said. Then Bill was back. The TV turned itself on, and the news was covering a vampire being dragged through the street. According to the sheriff’s department, since the governor had declared that vampires have no rights in the state of Louisiana, there is no crime being committed. Horrendous. Jessica and Bill realized he can see the future. And he had another vision: Jessica, Tara, Pam, Eric, and other vampires being burned in “camp.”
What did you think of the episode? I hope this isn’t a season where the final moment of every episode is so much more interesting than the rest of the hour.
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