Bill summons Jessica as Russell reveals his own agenda; Sookie and Jason learn more as Hoyt wants to remember less
Credit: John P. Johnson/HBO
True Blood, Anna Paquin, ... | In the season 3 finale, vampire Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) made Bill confess to Sookie — who can't read vampire minds — that he let her…

With only two episodes left, there are many answers to look forward to now: How are Sam and Luna going to get Emma out of the Authority compound (a puppy can’t fit where a mouse can)? What happens now that Tara has killed the sheriff of Area 5? Will Salome want to stop Russell from going after Sookie (nice surprise that she’s anti-daywalking)? And most importantly, how many more pillows will Sookie hold in her lap as Anna Paquin tries to cover her baby bump? Let’s dig in.

All five Tru Blood factories have now been destroyed and while Steve Newlin was on TV telling Americans to go about their business or the terrorists win, Sookie was staying in with some Chinese food that I assume was takeout. Do you see delivery men going to her house? There was a knock at the door, and it was coroner Mike. I get that Sookie may still be afraid of humans who share “the Obamas” hatred, but when there’s a Tru Blood shortage and she knows Warlow could be coming for her, why weren’t those bullets wooden or at least silver? Because we needed to know Mike’s a vampire now. He bit Sookie in the leg and she staked him with her chopsticks. You really noticed Paquin’s pregnancy in those jammies. Andy collected the chopsticks as evidence. I guess Sookie called him instead of Jason because Jason had to be free to meet up with Jessica and Hoyt at Merlotte’s.

The customers were jumpy when Jessica walked in and most left. Two stayed behind with guns, but Sam and Lafayette were also packing. Hoyt, whose face was still bruised from those hungry, hungry piggies, had asked to meet them there to tell them he was leaving for an oil-drilling job in Alaska. As his goodbye present, he wanted Jessica to glamour him to forget both her and Jason. He wanted the hurt to go away. Seeing there was no way out — that pain had almost gotten Hoyt and her killed — Jessica did it with a beautiful monologue. She told Hoyt to close his eyes and count to 10 and they’d be gone. He did and they were, but not before Jason said, “I love you, Bubba,” and Jessica kissed his head goodbye.

NEXT: Bye, Molly

At the Authority, Bill was the one to activate the iStake and kill Molly to Newlin’s delight. He’d never seen a vamp staked before. RIP, Molly, who at least got out a “F— all of you.” I think she and Jessica could have been friends. Knowing that Eric’s time would come soon, Nora and Bill forced him to drink a drop of Lilith. Nora did it with him, so they’d meet her together. “Evolved” Godric showed up first, and then Lilith appeared, still naked and silent, and ripped off Godric’s head as Nora begged for her to spare him and Eric screamed for Godric to fight her. But Godric said he wasn’t the one who had to fight. Eric and Nora both cried. Bill watched the whole thing from a control room, though he couldn’t see either Godric or Nora because he hadn’t had blood. I’m confused: So Lilith does exist but she’s a godless god, meaning evil? Or she’s just an hallucination? I guess the former? Either way, she hurt Godric so f— her.

Russell had said he felt like eating Greek, so he took Steve to a frat house. Hilarious. They slow-danced while Russell told Steve there was a way for them to walk in the day. Steve was in. If they hadn’t already become lovers, that sealed the deal.

The next day, Jason was in uniform (always nice) waiting for Sookie to pack a suitcase to come stay with him. Did you catch him lifting up the one teddy bear’s dress in her bedroom? I wonder if that was scripted or a Ryan Kwanten improv. Brilliant. Jason had gotten Bud’s files, but nothing was in them about their parents. They revisited what Gran had told Sookie, and he decided to look under her bed as she held a pillow. That shirt clung to him nicely as he moved the bed. Sookie told him Gran hadn’t actually said anything about looking in the BOX under the bed, so Jason, rather smartly, lifted up a floorboard. He found a box that contained a scroll. Even though I couldn’t read the symbols, I felt like Sookie was holding it upside down. They went to see a professor who told them it was at least 200 years old and not a human language. Well, duh.

Sam, meanwhile, was calling the AVL trying to book Steve for the cover of Died Monthly with his new puppy. Ha! He should have gone with Dog Fancy. Luna was pissed as usual: No local TV news will do a story about Emma, and the sheriff’s office banned her until she could come up with credible evidence. She threatened to tell them everything about shifters, werewolves and the like, which Sam said could get her locked up. Instead, he showed her an ad for a debate Newlin was going to do in New Orleans that night, five hours away. Apparently Bon Temps has its own airport, too, since Sam was planning on using his credit card miles to get them there in time. Sure. Why not.

Russell watched the debate at Authority Central while holding puppy Emma, who, in wolf form, is my favorite character on the show. Eric was brought in and said he’d watched Lilith destroy his maker who he’d been worshipping as a false god. He’s now on their side, and to prove it, he knelt at Russell’s feet, thanked him for sparing his life, said he forgives him for the sins against his family, and kissed his hand. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING? Sam and Luna snuck into the green room during the debate as mice, and when they realized Emma wasn’t with Steve, they hopped into his bag.

Steve arrived back at the underground compound he said surely doesn’t exist during the debate, and the receptionist brought out Emma in human form in one of his shirts. “Emma! You know that daddy doesn’t like it when you’re human. Do you want Nigel to eat you? Do you?” he yelled. So he kinda cares about her? “I want my mommy,” she said. “Your mommy doesn’t want you, punk!” he answered. Or not. He chased after crying Emma, and Sam and Luna scurried out of his bag in mouse form.

NEXT: Jessica arrives, Russell leaves

Bill had sent for Jessica, who was now on her own since the guards weren’t being paid and left. His security team is led by a woman with short blonde hair that I wish had been Lori Petty but wasn’t. Bill greeted Jessica and was appropriately cult-like creepy as he gave her a tour of the Authority compound and handed her the vampire Bible to read. She’s skeptical — he sounds an awful lot like the parents who put her through Bible study — but she played it cool.

Next we saw the Authority vamps together, Eric and Nora were debating whether just new vamps or all vamps should have to learn the vampire Bible. Russell couldn’t believe they were discussing “education reform.” That’s not how they’ll take over. To be dominant, they need to be able to walk in the sun, he said. I was surprised to hear Salome say she was against that. Lilith wants them in the dark, apparently, and she sees faeries as an abomination. Russell wants to synthesize their blood, like the Japanese did human blood for Tru Blood, or breed faeries. Salome threatened to put him back in the ground from which she’d saved him, and Russell tossed her. He reverted to his ancient accent as he told them he was 3,000 years old and stronger than all of them combined. Their religion was literally keeping them in the dark, he said, and he’d have the sun. Out he went. What now?

Back to Sookie, she and Jason went to see Claude at the fae Moulin Rouge, and on the way, Jason stopped Hoyt who was driving out-of-town. For a moment, I thought it might do Jason good to hear Hoyt sound happy, but he tried to convince him not to go. Not knowing Jason other than as a relative of Sookie Stackhouse, Hoyt just assumed his mother had put Jason up to it. Jason had to let him go. He got in the police car and sobbed. Sookie held him. Very sweet.

When they got to Claude, he couldn’t read the scroll. But he’s only 130. Maurella, who’s 500 but only admits to being 300, was able to do it. It was a contract dated August 5, 1702, and it said that John William Stackhouse had granted Mr. M. Warlow his first fae-bearing female heir. There hadn’t been one until Sookie. RECORD SCRATCH. Why would her ancestor have made that deal? Another question: Maurella, who was the faery who’d slept with Andy in the woods, is clearly pregnant. Why did she want his baby? Will Andy find out about it? He’s finally happy with Holly, who had Lafayette cook the two of them a nice meal to thank him for taking her home every night since the Tru Blood shortage started. Lafayette carrying the plates like he was walking down the aisle = awesome. The food was so good, Andy told him he loved him. It was a perfect moment. Especially when Lafayette assured them the dessert would be “flamin’.” He told them not to get used to it though, because he’d soon either be back to cookin’ for 200 rednecks or they’d be dead — either way, it ends.

Last but not least (because we got no Alcide or Terry and Arlene this episode), we get to Pam and Tara. The new sheriff of Area 5, Elijah, wants Fangtasia to make more money than $600 a night so they can pay him more for his protection. He suggested bite booths, where a human sticks in a wrist or a leg and the vampire has 30 seconds to suck. I wasn’t sure who was paying in that scenario. Regardless, Pam vetoed it. He also told them there was a “procreation mandate” that Area 5 had to produce 30 new vampires. If Pam and Tara didn’t do their part, he’d seize Fangtasia and Tara.

Tara was ready to do it if she had to, but Pam said no. They don’t procreate because they’re told to, they do it because they want to. Women’s rights! Pam said they’d live in the wind like she and Eric had. There’s nothing left of Fangtasia (without Eric), so Elijah can have it. It’s an end of an era. Tara then did the most badass thing she’s done as a vamp. She called Elijah into the office because she was afraid she’d killed Ginger when trying to turn her. While he checked on Ginger, who still had a pulse, Ginger stabbed him with a silver dagger and Tara beheaded him with a sword. AWESOME. Pam was not amused. “We’re not runnin’,” Tara told her, pulling some of Elijah off the sword as Ginger screamed. “No one f—s with us in our house.” Okay, I’m pretty sure those two are screwed, but Pam looked momentarily proud. And yay for Ginger getting a scene. I bet Tara didn’t even have to glamour her to get her to help out. She’s dumb, but loyal.

Your turn. What did you think of the episode? Where do you think we’re headed next?

Episode Recaps

True Blood, Anna Paquin, ... | In the season 3 finale, vampire Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) made Bill confess to Sookie — who can't read vampire minds — that he let her…
True Blood

Sookie, Bill, Eric, Lafayette, Sam and the other residents Bon Temps deal with vampires, werewolves, fairies, and shape-shifters—not to mention romance and drama

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