The Voice recap: Must by Mustache
The second night of blind auditions continues with accusations of dishonesty, the swapping of chairs, and someone playing the Bieber card
Welcome back, my little Voice-lets. You’ve returned to discuss the second night of the sixth season premiere, in which blindess is running rampant among the judges and no one can see anything coming.
If you’ve returned, you’ve no doubt made your peace with the fact that I will be recapping this show. I feel it’s necessary to point out that I actually love The Voice, so just know that every ostensible dig at Shakira or jibe at Blake is really one borne from tender love, years of respect and my inability to cry at anything that’s not a season finale episode of Grey’s.
Tonight’s story begins after last night’s ends, with Usher welcoming three artists to his team, Shakira and Adam landing two, and Blake finagling just one. Could Blake be saving his ammunition for what he knows will be some powerhouse talent towards the end of auditions? Or, is it just being edited this way? The actual answer is the latter, but let’s just try and believe that Blake is holding out for a hero (’til the morning light).
There’s no coach performance tonight (which I’m not too beat up about) so we launch right into the second round of blind auditions. Away we go!
Delvin Choice, 24, Greenville, SC
I Remember Him From: Starbucks
Things He Was Told to Work On Last Year: “Be less dance-y and emotional”
Song: “A Song for You” – Donny Hathaway
I remember Delvin—it’s not often that you get an extended look at someone whose claim to fame is working at a Starbucks. I don’t remember his singing, but apparently it didn’t matter since nobody turned last season, yet everyone turned this year. It’s a one-two-three punch for Adam, Shakira, and Blake after Delvin nails his first run (also, Adam and Shakira are both standing again, which is kind of a weird trend this season because I can’t imagine that a conflicted contestant would ever make his or her decision based on whether a coach was sedentary). Shakira Mebarak vows on her home country of Colombia that she’ll take Delvin to the top; Adam Noah Levine vows on his Los Angeles roots and makes fun of Shakira’s accent for the first of probably six times this season. Delvin chooses Coach Adam.
Madilyn Paige, 16, Provo, UT
Backstory: Aspiring filmmaker, sings with her sisters, first started singing because of movie theme songs playing on the radio
Was Not Alive During: “My Heart Will Go On (Theme from Titanic)”
Looks Like: Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen
Song:“Titanium” – David Guetta
If I had to put money on someone getting a Teen People cover from this, it’s this little gem, wearing a Hollister cami that I swear I folded when I worked there nine years ago. Usher and Shakira are the only two to turn around—Usher likes that Madilyn wasn’t aggressive in her performance (despite Titanium being such the aggressive metal). Shakira’s pitch involves her recounting the tale of starting her career at age 13, but Usher counters with THE JUSTIN BIEBER CARD, which by no means should have worked but obviously did because Madilyn is 16 and likely thinks she’ll get to meet Bieber at some point if she picks Usher because wouldn’t that just make for the most liked Instagram EVER?? Adam runs over to Blake and they start giggling and discussing their favorite Lisa Frank Trapper-Keeper designs. Madilyn chooses Coach Usher, and Shakira is just furious.
NEXT: “He looked like the Monopoly guy.”
Noah Lis, 22, Palmer, MA
Is He Cute?: YES!
Genre: Jazz and pop standards
Small Business Owner: Sings at events, books 250 events a year
Best Closed-Caption Observation in Pre-Audition Package: “This is a hallway.”
Song: “Me and Mrs. Jones” – Billy Paul
I’ll admit, I teared up when he teared up talking about his late grandfather. I also liked the goofy charm, from his super awkward Michael Buble-aimed “Tell him I’m his biggest fan!” chuckle to his 1999 front-spike, which is exactly the kind of hairstyle I might have rocked at a bar mitzvah. But gosh, I loved Noah, and so did Adam and Blake, who waited until the last second to try and slip in at the last minute. Adam makes a literally crappy metaphor, and rightly so, Noah chooses Coach Blake.
Blake Quote I’m Including in EW’s Soundbites This Week: “To be a crooner, you have to be one of those guys who really doesn’t give a crap. Do you know anybody else in the entertainment industry that gives less of a crap than me?”
Keith Shuskie, 28, Buffalo, NY
Tomorrow You’ll Refer to Him as: “Mustache Guy”
Looks Like: Mario with an H&M gift card
Genre: “Rock ‘n’ roll with a mix of operatic sound”
Member of a Secular Indie Rock Band Called: Den of Lions
Backstory: Has the two sweetest children I have ever seen
Song: “Somewhere Only We Know” – Keane
His voice is a little quirky, but he sure wasn’t lying when he said he was rock and opera (he reminds me of season two’s Tony Vincent, no?). Poor guy didn’t get anyone to turn around for him, unfortunately (and it probably didn’t help his hurt feelings that Adam yelled “Mustache!” after having just rejected him). They all make him promise to come back next year, and Keith vows that his mustache will be even grander in season seven.
Adam Wrongly Points Out: “He looked like the Monopoly guy.”
Deja Hall, 16, San Antonio, TX
Name Sounds Like: A place I once had a sociology class
Backstory: Military family kid, missing a kidney
Claim to Fame: Local talent shows
Song: “True Colors” – Cyndi Lauper
I LOVE DEJA. I don’t know why, because she’s not the best female singer so far, but she’s a chic vocalist of the Glee generation who will probably be incredible in about five years. The episode’s funniest moment happens during this performance, wherein Blake hits his button, scaring Shakira, who tries to hit her button and actually misses. Her passion seems like it will win Deja’s allegiance; Blake’s request to ADOPT HER probably won’t. Unsurprisingly, she picks Coach Shakira.
Cary Laine, 28, Citronelle, AL
Backstory: Married at 18
Mother to: Adorable child named Cameron, who says, “This is like a tiny town that needs more products and stores.”
Song: “Better Dig Two” – The Band Perry
Adam wants on super quickly, followed soon after by Blake and Shakira. We don’t really see Blake’s facial expression after he turns, but I have to imagine it’s shock because Cary actually looks just like Miranda Lambert. Like, JUST like her. Like, it’s kind of weird. Usher bizarrely asks her if she wants sneakers (??). Adam tries to woo her by letting her sit in his chair. Usher tries to hypnotize her. Shakira does something. Basically everything gets real creepy real fast, except for Blake, who’s being surprisingly normal, but not normal enough because the chair thing worked and Cary picks COACH ADAM! Bombshell!
Tonight’s episode was a hot-quick hour, so we’re already done for the week. Who stood out for you on tonight’s episode? (It’s okay to say nobody.) See you next week!