Three very one-sided battles make for predictable outcomes, but the momentum (and talent) is finally picking up! Celebrate!

By Marc Snetiker
Updated April 14, 2015 at 06:18 PM EDT
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The Voice Recap
Credit: NBC
S6 E12

Hello again, friends. You’re probably bummed that I, your regular recapper, am back once again instead of the delightful breath of bubbly fresh air that is Jodi Walker (who covered for me in a pinch on last night’s The Voice recap and did an a-mah-zing job). Well, I’m back, and there are battles on tonight’s episode that are in dire need of critiquing.

I will say, Jodi was absolutely correct when she said last night that despite the logistical nonsense of the second round of battles, this week’s match-ups are truly the best of the best, so there’s little room to complain about people who totally deserve to be here. Everyone tonight brought it and absolutely shut it down, so we were treated to three pretty stellar battles.

Here’s how they went down:

TEAM BLAKE

Biff Gore vs. Sisaundra Lewis

Readers of my recaps know I’m super into Sisaundra Lewis for so many reasons, the least of which is the earrings and the most of which is that she’s probably the best technical singer in the entire competition. Biff has a fine voice and Blake was noble in stealing him after Usher offed him in favor of TJ Wilkins, but he stands no chance to Sisaundra. Even when she’s reading the song titles, I’m swooning.

They choose “It’s a Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World,” and rehearsal suggests what I’m already thinking: This is a man’s song, but it would be nothing…NOTHIIIING… without Sisaundra. The judgment from Blake and Chris Martin is funny — they’re worried Sisaundra is “too good,” which is like being afraid your bake sale cookies are too delicious.

The battle begins and we might as well be in an elementary school library in 1997 because there are goosebumps everywhere. Sisaundra hits a few licks (matched, I will concede, almost perfectly by Biff) and blows it out of this world — a fact corroborated by Adam saying he’s 80% sure Sisaundra’s not from this planet.

Blake picks Sisaundra, because he’s sane.

TEAM SHAKIRA

Ddendyl vs. Deja Hall

I’m super excited to see Ddendyl again, if only because she’s got a great name that’s kind of like a cross between a dinosaur and a Targaryen. I have fond memories of Ddendyl’s audition, and we didn’t get to see her battle because of those horrible skips earlier in this round. It’s nice to see her again (and to see she’s doing the Rosie the Riveter chic thing and doing it well), and it’s equally nice to see Deja, though I’ll be honest and say I don’t quite remember her battle.

Unfortunately, I guess all the time spent away from Ddendyl made me forget that her voice sort of sounds like Zooey Deschanel playing Chubby Bunny. Deja has a voice that I’d listen to for hours on Spotify, and it’s much more radio-friendly. I think she’ll grow into a fine artist, and Shakira agrees.

Also, for a second I thought Ddendyl had braces.

NEXT: Long hair, don’t care

In the interim, we skip another battle in which Emily B. loses to Kristen Merlin, who we STILL haven’t seen since her audition — honestly, what gives, Voice!? Is she not worthy of appearing on our television? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

TEAM USHER

Stevie Jo vs. Morgan Wallen

I thoroughly enjoy Stevie Jo, and even though the clean-cut boy in me is pining for him to get a haircut, he’s grown on me quite a lot over the weeks, much like Kevin Federline grew on me when I thought he might be good for Britney. I was burned, but I have faith that Stevie will lead me to the light. Morgan, on the other hand, hasn’t really registered, and I feel like when he sings, he’s trying harder to put on a false voice and imitate someone with a more natural gravel.

The song at hand is “Story of My Life,” the best One Direction song since the one about the blind girls. Morgan screws up right from the get-go, but the adorable Stevie sounds pitch-perfect and does something interesting with the song. I also make a really weird face during this song because I realize Morgan kind of looks like the ultra-religious lovechild of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and Patrick Swayze in Point Break.

My vote for this easily goes to Stevie Jo, and Usher makes use of our kindred spirit connection and agrees. In a surprising steal, Adam swoops in to take Morgan, and I wonder what he possibly sees Morgan could add to his team — but if I trust any coach on this show to make a good, fact-based decision, it’s Adam. I’m interested to see what he comes up with.

That’s it for tonight! After next week’s battles close, I’ll be posting my season six Power List — I ask you, after these two playoffs, who tops your list? Until then, my opinionated commenter friends, let your heated debates rage on!

Episode Recaps

The Voice - Season 14

The Voice

A rotating chair-full of judges search for the next great superstar singer on this NBC reality show.

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seasons
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