The Voice recap: Beginners' (Bad) Luck
Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton perform, Shakira's hair continues to inspire, and the right two people go home
The night starts with Oklahoma native Blake Shelton and his wife Miranda Lambert singing “Over You.” Both have tears in their eyes and it’s a deeply moving and personal performance. Across the screen reads “To help disaster victims please donate to redcross.org or 1-800 HELP NOW.”
After the performance, the live portion of the show begins. Before we talk about the results, your regular Voice-cappers have seriously been watching like a billion hours of this show, so I’m stepping in tonight (and tonight only, probably). If you miss Samantha, check out our SYTYCD recap.
We start with Team Shakira performing “I’ll Stand By You.” Shakira looks like she belongs in a rock opera in the best possible way! Her sparkly boots and dramatic outfit make a huge impression. It’s the least staged of the three performances, but really stresses that Shakira loves and stands by her team. I guess what I’m saying is if they brought back Duets (we can only dream and write letters), Shakira would be great on it. Also, no one doesn’t love some good pyrotechnics.
Oh look, there’s Michelle Rodriguez and Vin Diesel (could they have a new movie coming out?). Diesel — wearing sunglasses, of course — mentions that he and Michelle have been interviewed by Carson for so many years now. Carson glares and sneers, “Don’t you EVER bring up my TRL days again, Diesel. EVER!” Just kidding, he just later makes a joke about the sunglasses (It. is. on.). Diesel also giddily announces that everyone is invited to the Fast and Furious 6 premiere tonight and then, as I was about to press “purchase” on my ticket to California, he clarified: everyone in the audience. What up Fast & Furious 6 trailer directly after this part of the show? Marketing!
Now it’s that time in the show where Carson asks all the coaches how they are feeling. Adam is confident, as he should be. Shakira calls herself a “lioness” when it comes to protecting her own. Samantha mentioned this in her last recap, but Shakira’s hair is AMAZING! She legitimately looks like a beautiful lion and on behalf of curly-haired girls everywhere: Shakira, I salute you.
Usher is really nervous and if I were either of his team members I’d say “Dude, at least fake it a little.” Blake has no time for playing games with Carson and says that he’s getting “ulcers, nausea, and diarrhea.” That’s, you know, one way to get people not to talk to you.
Confessional time! Most fun part of this show! Carson asks If today were the day you had to give up singing… what would you do instead? Sheryl Crow would be a professional motorcross racer. Sarah Simmons would make her own sushi. Cee Lo would be a male exotic dancer. Pharrell would be like Willy Wonka with a chocolate factory and then just “add in, like, girls.” At the end of this Shakira goes full pretzel (to huge cheers from the audience).
FIRST TWO SAFE ARTISTS: Danielle Bradbery (duh duh duh duh duh) and Judith Hill (interesting)
The winner of these three minutes is Sarah Simmons who, instead of giving in to the dramatic pausing in revealing each name, just straight-faces it and shows no emotions. You go girl! Fight the system!
Team Blake performs “Mountain Music.” Where’s Holly Tucker’s plaid shirt? It’s a little Chuck E Cheese band in terms of staging, but these guys are incredible country artists (with a capital C) and Danielle predictably kills it. She’s safe after all. She should celebrate!
NEXT: Couches on the stage! Madness! Madness I tell you!
NEXT TWO SAVED: Michelle Chamuel (Usher) and Sasha Allen (Shakira)
Carson asks Amber what she thinks her mom would say to her now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If you’re gonna rapid-fire question these people, at least make them softball questions! Josiah nodded when Michelle was saved! It’s pretty cute. He’s cute… but is he cute enough? Okay, moving on.
Team Usher performs “The Look of Love.” What a choice! There are couches on the stage! Usher pops up from one of said couches (stars, they’re just like us). Don’t reality show judges always say not to come off like a lounge singer? Oh well, everyone sounds great. Props to that one extra in the stage audience, who acts really into it whenever the camera is on her. Usher takes off that jacket. Is it sexier when he puts it over his shoulder than when he takes it off? Of course. Michelle’s really the only one selling that this is a group performance and not a “Make love to your microphone stand” performance, but maybe that’s why she’s the safe one.
Oh… hello Christina Milian. Carson refuses to ever pronounce your name the same way twice! How often do you think Christina asks the producers to let her just sing a bar of the Kim Possible theme song (it kind of pertains to what she does…)? Sasha adorably says that she wants people to tweet her song ideas. You jokesters better not Tweet anything mean (you know who I’m looking at)!
NEXT SAFE CONTESTANT: Sarah Simmons (Team Adam)
Team Adam performs “I’ve Got the Music in Me.” Adam’s three divas show off the two things they do best: belt those notes and work it! Except for a little confusion with hand movement coordination, these ladies bring it! They also deserve special props for engaging the audience so well.
Carson asks Holly two questions — after he asked Kris one which makes me too sad to think about knowing what I know now — first he asks her about her song choice and she says it was important to show how much her faith matters to her. Then, he asks her to tell him about the responses she’s been getting from people, given her song choice, after the devastation in Oklahoma Monday. She handles the question very well, saying that people wrote to her that her performance touched them and that her goal is to move people.
NEXT SAFE: Holly Tucker (Team Blake)
So… by this point we all feel like we know where this is going. Good thing there are only five minutes left.
Carson asks the Swon Brothers about working together and Colton seems way more nervous than they need to be (Okay, okay, I know it’s an elimination night). Zach makes a joke about how if they get eliminated he can just blame his bro, and Colton’s like let’s just get to the results!
TWO LEAVING THE SHOW: Josiah and Kris
That means Amber Carrington (Team Adam) and The Swon Brothers (Team Blake) are safe!
So… Shakira and Usher only have one person to focus on. Look, it’s their first time! Although Josiah’s perfect cheekbones made me swoon, “Clocks” just didn’t bring it home. Kris, at least you’ll always have Shakira’s love!
Did the right people go home? What was your favorite group performance? Let me know!