The Royals recap: 'O, Farewell, Honest Soldier'
Long live the king
Welp, we have a new king, everyone.
The penultimate episode of season 3 of The Royals revolved around the much-anticipated meeting of the privy council to determine who should be king: current crownholder Cyrus or the zombie prince, Robert. In the end, the Big Ben bells tolled to announce a new king — presumably Robert.
I say presumably because I’m still so strongly #KingLiam that I have fantasies that the privy council sees what we all do and is going to throw us all for a loop when that new king is revealed to be Sparrow. But, alas, they probably won’t, and we’ll probably have to wait until season 4 — if there is a season 4! — to see Liam (or Eleanor, for that matter) take the throne.
But I digress. There were ample great moments in this week’s episode, so let’s get to ’em.
Most Surprising Twist
I already told you what would be the ultimate twist, and that doesn’t count. But this one still goes to Robert. When Mr. Hill learns that Jasper leaked the file regarding Robert’s plane — which he gave to that awful journalist in exchange for her silence about his relationship with Eleanor — they’re both going to lose their jobs. James expresses his disappointment that Jasper didn’t come to him first, Jasper is desperate to at least save Hill’s job, and I’m actually kind of heartbroken about the idea of Sarah Alice no longer in the palace (easily the runner-up for most shocking twist tonight). But who should come to their rescue? None other than Prince Robert. After all, he did benefit from the story of the man who shot down his plane coming to light.
And that isn’t even the end of Robert’s surprises. After James rightly fires Jasper for his 700th lapse in judgment, the bodyguard goes to Robert to thank him and say goodbye. But, you know, Robert wants anything that was Liam’s in his absence, so he vows to rehire Jasper as his own personal bodyman, should he become king. He also wants to keep an eye on Jasper’s relationship with Eleanor, but it actually doesn’t even sound that negative (another twist!): “Dedicate yourself to protecting me and I will always protect you. Even with her.”
Of course, we still have a big reveal about Robert’s plane yet to come… and I’m guessing Robert senses that Jasper knows what that is, and it’s not going to make the new king smell so good. So this was likely just self-preservation, which is probably why Jasper revealed whatever it was — cue cliffhanger — to Liam.
Kathryn’s tears as the Big Ben bells rang out didn’t exactly seem to be tears of joy to me… She may love him, but I’m thinking we’re going to see her decide that a public life is not for her.
Outfit of the Week
At least she looks totally adorable in those black cutoffs and that flannel shirt to go with her tears, right?
NEXT: The Rosie we need
Rosie’s Winningest Move
Rosie pulling her gun on Jasper during his confrontation with Eleanor was perfection, and her reaction to him calling her “honey” (really, Jasper?) was the Rosie I really hope we get to see more of in the finale and (fingers crossed) season 4.
Thing That Makes Me Go Hmm…
I’m not into this idea of Eleanor taking off with Sebastian for six months to style hotels. Something smells fishy to me. And something tells me it’ll be Jasper who uncovers Sebastian’s true intentions.
Cyrus’ Most Conniving Heartbreaking Moment
It’s impressive they way Cyrus has been humanized over the last two episodes (well, after that whole silliness with the shaman). His realness with Liam, understanding the role of the Sparrow in a way no one else can, has been downright touching. And seeing him in tears, admitting that his days as king, even as a king with cancer, have been the best of his life, was actually a bit heartbreaking. Now, will he actually “blow his brains out” as he threatened earlier this season? Or will he keep fighting for the crown and freedom from cancer? I guess that’s what next week’s finale is for.
That Time Robert Was the Worst
Liam believes in the Michelle Obama school of thought — when Cyrus goes low, he goes high and keeps his mouth shut about it. Well, Robert doesn’t subscribe to that philosophy. Dude is pissed Liam didn’t trash Cyrus during the privy council, even though Robert used his brother’s exact words to make his case. “Remind them how great our country is and can be. Tell them that everyone should have a chance — we’re England. We can be great and majestic.” Yep, I’m pretty sure those words won Robert the crown. Will Liam get any thanks? Doubtful.
Best Shirtless Moment
No one took their shirt off this week — weird, huh? — but I can’t even be mad about it. Liam looks ridiculously good in this white dress shirt, amiright?
Musical Cues of the Week
- “In a Black Out” by Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam, as James Hill is awoken and Robert meets with Kathryn
- “The War” by Syml, as the family awaits the results of the privy council
- “Spirit Cold” by Tall Heights, as Robert arrives at Kathryn’s apartment
- “Tomorrow” by Daughter, as Cyrus looks from his portrait to his crown to his gun
Crown Jewel Quips of the Episode
- “You be sorry, Jasper. You enjoy that.” —Eleanor, telling Jasper where he can stick his apology
- “If you do shoot him, aim for the heart. He already broke mine.” —Eleanor, to Rosie as the bodyguard points her gun at Jasper
- “That’s the last time you’ll ever aim your weapon at me and live to tell about it.” —Rosie, to Jasper
- “Without our rules and our traditions, what are we? America? You saw what happened with Trump versus Hillary: lose-lose.” —Cyrus, in his speech to the privy council
- “The tree does not grow far from the apple, Mummy.” —Eleanor, to Helena as the queen is debating running away with Jack Parker
- “People are at their best or worst when they have an opportunity to touch greatness. I should know: I’ve been both.” —Cyrus, before the privy council meeting
- “One candidate is noble, is inspiring, and the best of us, while the other is a malicious freak show dressed as a court jester on nitrous oxide.” —Eleanor, to the privy council
- “Crowns are for taking, and I’m taking this one.” —Robert, showing his true colors
- “I’m going to be someone more than a princess. I’m leaving this behind, including you.” —Eleanor, to Jasper