Cyrus makes it clear he won't give up the throne without a fight
The Royals (screen grab) CR: E!
Credit: E!
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The balcony is a big deal, you guys. And, apparently, not just for the fans around the world and the media. It’s a big deal for the royal family. Well, at least, The Royals‘ royal family. And this week’s hijinks are centered around what would happen when Robert made his return debut on the balcony…and where he and King Cyrus would stand.

But let’s not forget King Cyrus (it still feels all kinds of wrong to type that) has a renewed zest for life and power. Come hell or testicular cancer, he’s not about to just hand his crown to Robert without a fight. Sorry, Queen Helena.

Meanwhile, Robert’s BFF — and Eleanor’s former flame — Beck is back and not impressed with Eleanor’s relationship with Jasper. That creates some continuous kerfuffle, especially when he successfully gets under Jasper’s skin about his worthiness for the princess. In further relationship drama, Liam is still a bit of a mess about Kathryn — especially after she goes on a date with Robert — and Kathryn is still a mess about both boys, especially when she tells her idiot sister, whom you just know will blab the secret to the wrong person in 3…2…1…

Most Surprising Twist
When Helena goes to see Cyrus about where everyone will stand on the balcony, he doesn’t put up a fight. Not even a little. In fact, he even agrees having Robert front and center is “the right thing to do.” Helena buys it — twist! — but since when does Cyrus do the right thing?

Cyrus’ Most Conniving Moment
In a pre-balcony interview, Cyrus agrees Robert will be a great king… “someday, but that day is not today.” He then goes on to show Robert’s death certificate. Also, “there’s the small matter of a legally sitting king — i.e. me. Never in the history of this country has a sitting king been dethroned unless it was on the battlefield.” It doesn’t end there, as he later shares with Helena his “concerns” that Robert, following all his time alone on the island, “may be one sandwich shy of a picnic.”

Robert’s Most Conniving Moment
Robert then appeals to his Uncle Cyrus — “the chap who gave me my first sip of liquor…and my second” — and agrees to take a backseat on the balcony. Wisely, he kept Cyrus talking until he came up with the idea to let a privy council decide who should be king. Of course, that wasn’t the end of his sneakiness. Robert took the first official wave and then reached over to hug Liam (despite their continued awkwardness), thus capitalizing on the public’s love for him. I don’t trust him AT. ALL.

That Time Robert Was the WORST
Remind me never to play darts with Robert. He always says just terrible things to Liam during these scenes. Tonight’s installment: “Mom’s been filling me in on all you’ve been doing, all your charity work. I’m proud of you. She thinks maybe I should take it over.” What?! Dude, find your own charity work.

Proof Romance Isn’t Dead
Really, Robert?


Another thing that’s not dead? #KingLiam! During one of the many annoying clips featuring a pair of commentators talking about the lead-up to the balcony, the subject of #KingLiam came up. “Bollocks how everyone’s forgotten about #KingLiam,” the man said, reading a tweet. Later he added, “I was a fan of #KingLiam as well. You know, maybe we should have an election. Let us choose between two good candidates, Robert and Liam.”

Shirtless Moment of the Week
That time Eleanor and Jasper were in the thrones of passion.

Credit: E!

Boys Will Be Boys
Let’s just take a moment to note one from the final season, when Beck taunted Jasper yet again and Liam — who was a bit tipsy — reached his breaking point. And when that fight tumbled into the room where King Cyrus sat in his regalia? Yeah, not good. Something tells me this will come back to haunt us #KingLiam enthusiasts.

Outfit of the Week
Like a champ, Eleanor upgraded the dress Helena wore when she introduced the twins to the world years ago!


Musical Cues of the Week

  • “King” by Zayde Wolf, as Kathryn gets the meat text from Robert
  • “Sister” by Haux, during Robert and Kathryn’s date
  • “In Paris” by Charlotte OC, as Jasper second-guesses himself
  • “Sparrow” by Tom Odell, a very on-the-nose selection as the family steps onto the balcony and Liam stands behind Robert

Crown Jewel Quips of the Episode

  • “The bacon can stay.” —Eleanor to Beck after he surprised her in her room
  • “He was her ex, but they didn’t break up. He died, and then he undied.” —Liam explaining why he’s worried about Kathryn’s ex being back in town
  • “Woof, woof. Nobody puts baby in the corner.” —Cyrus to Helena after she confronts him about his interview
  • “Normal people can be quite relaxing.” —Robert to Beck when he’s asking about Jasper
  • “Under normal circumstances, I’d say dump him. He kept you a secret because he’s common, the prick! But he’s going to be king, so maybe don’t throw the prick out with the bathwater.” —Angie, Kathryn’s sister
  • “Class isn’t about who you are, Beck, it’s about how you act!” —Eleanor
  • “OK, everyone, we’re going to be extremely British right now and pretend that none of that just happened.” —Robert, after Beck and Liam’s fight

Episode Recaps

The Royals
2015 TV Series
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