Real Housewives of Orange County recap: 'The Real Vikings of Orange County'

Just when you think the Iceland trip couldn’t get any more dramatic — how do you top a hospital visit? — the women of Orange County show you how it’s done as they spar and cry at, of all places, a Viking reenactment feast. Here’s what went down on this week’s episode:

Peggy is…probably recording you right now. The episode kicks off when Peggy confesses to Lydia that she caught Tamra, Kelly, and Meghan making fun of her. Exactly what she heard them saying is unclear, but lord knows when Peggy has an idea in her head, she’s not letting it go. To hear Peggy tell it, she heard Meghan’s daughter crying, went out to investigate, overheard the other housewives, then started recording them. While telling this all to Lydia, Peggy also calls Meghan a “30-year-old giraffe” and criticizes her parenting, which is important to remember for later.

Lydia is…trying to be supportive. She planned a big Viking dinner for everyone, but as long as Peggy is refusing to associate with the other housewives, Lydia is going to stay at the hotel with her. She’s ever so slightly skeptical about Peggy’s recording, however, and asks Peggy how she knew the other woman were talking about her. Peggy cites a remark that Kelly made to her, and Lydia seems convinced, but it doesn’t quite add up if you ask me: That remark was captured on camera during Vicki’s post-hospital hang sesh with the women, and none of the footage Peggy plays seems particularly damning. Maybe she should leak the whole thing on Snapchat?

Meghan is…feeling attacked, and for good reason. At the dinner with the Viking reenactors, Peggy whips out her phone and starts telling Meghan all about how her baby was crying for 10 minutes. Meghan explains that, actually, she’s teaching her baby to cry it out and self-soothe, while Tamra and Shannon go after Peggy for questioning Meghan’s parenting. Peggy tries to backtrack and say she didn’t bring it up to critique Meghan’s parenting, and Lydia, during her one-on-one interview, comes to her defense, saying that Peggy isn’t always good at expressing herself. Except…Lydia was there earlier when Peggy called Meghan a giraffe and very explicitly questioned her parenting. That may not have been the point of the video, but that doesn’t mean Peggy didn’t mean it.

Kelly is…inventing a new catchphrase: “If you wanna throw a bomb, I’m gonna throw a nuke.” She tells this to Peggy after Peggy reveals that she was recording Kelly and the other women behind their backs. Moments earlier, she was trying to defend Peggy to Meghan, but once she connected the dots and realized that Peggy was more or less spying on them, she snapped. But before she takes things to Ireland levels of regrettable, Kelly invokes her anger management classes and walks away to cool down. Of all the housewives I thought were going to keep a lid on their temper this week, Kelly wasn’t at the top of my list.

Tamra is…still working on her issues with Vicki. After having a big cathartic cry last week and hugging it out, Tamra continues to repair their friendship. And that means asking the tough questions, like: You know that Brooks ruined our friendship, right? Vicki seems to reluctantly agree, telling Tamra that she’ll apologize for her hurting her if she does the same. It’s not quite the answer Tamra is looking for, but she takes it anyway. (You know who doesn’t take it? Shannon — surprise! — who calls out Vicki’s lack of remorse and feeling.)

Vicki is…staying out of it. When Peggy and the other women are going at it over the Viking dinner, Vicki avoids weighing in and ultimately leaves dinner early. She of all people knows nothing good comes from inserting yourself into fights with this group, and if you’re a longtime Housewives viewer — or even a newcomer, really — you can’t blame her for that line of thinking. Peggy absolutely blames her though, and after leaving the trip early, she meets up with Vicki in Orange County to explain that she felt “betrayed” by the way Vicki didn’t come to her defense. Vicki doesn’t really feel like she did anything wrong, but true to her new no-drama policy, she apologizes anyway, and Peggy seems convinced.

Shannon is…going to the doctor. Upon her mother’s insistence, Shannon goes for an overdue checkup when she’s back in Orange County, and she takes Tamra with her for moral support (and some colorful commentary). If I’m understanding her doctor correctly — please don’t look to these recaps for sound medical advice, okay? — some of Shannon’s crop of health issues may be linked to her decision to go off the hormones she started taking after beginning menopause. (I can’t wait to see the GIFs of Tamra’s face when Shannon insists she’s been level headed after the doctor tells her progesterone would help her with mood stability.) That’s not thrilling news per se, but it’s a lot better than what’s going on at home. At this point, we know Shannon and David have separated, but in this episode, the writing is pretty much on the wall as Shannon closes out the episode by concluding that he’s totally checked out of their marriage.