Kelly's breast reduction surgery brings the housewives together...for the moment
Credit: Bravo

This week’s episode was full of warm fuzzy feelings — oh wait, maybe that’s just the painkillers Kelly got after her breast reduction surgery? They certainly put her in a good mood during her recovery, but the good vibes seemed to be contagious and spread to the other housewives…at least until (surprise!) a tense dinner led to some heated confrontations. Here’s what went down:

Kelly is…no longer a 32G. After last week’s “boobs voyage” party, she spends most of this episode recovering from her breast reduction surgery with the help of her friends. The receiving line is long: Vicki is the first one to come visit and professes to being a plastic surgery pro for having had her “brain and tits and abdomen” done, among other body parts; later, Shannon brings Kelly a plant as a recovery gift and tells the camera during her one-on-one interview that she’s forgiven for all that’s happened because, unlike Vicki, Kelly has shown remorse; even Meghan stops by Kelly’s place despite all the nasty things Kelly said to her at drag queen bingo — Kelly had been there for Meghan her during IVF treatments, so Meghan wants to return the favor and show her support.

Vicki is…sick. Specifically, after visiting Kelly, she comes down with an apparently rare strain of the influenza virus that is only known to affect humans and seals (the more you know!) and is barely in the episode. She doesn’t having whooping cough, but you might say she’s whooping it up at urgent care.

Shannon is…getting yelled at by a stationary bike. Recently, Shannon told her husband that she hated working out and that she especially hated cycling, so…he got her a stationary bike for their home gym. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the best way to get your marriage back on track is not by buying your partner the one piece of exercise equipment he or she loathes.

Meghan is…asking the tough questions. At a dinner with all the housewives except for Vicki and Lydia — more on that later — talk of Kelly’s breast reduction surgery turns to Peggy’s upcoming reconstruction surgery, which in turn opens up a conversation about what exactly led Peggy to undergo her preventative double mastectomy. Peggy reveals that her test for the BRCA gene came back negative, which prompts Meghan to ask her point-blank if she has or has had cancer. Peggy doesn’t do a great job of explaining her story — Shannon starts pointing out the inconsistencies in her story based on what Peggy said at their lunch a few weeks ago — but Bravo editors thankfully cut to one of Peggy’s doctors referring to her having a small amount of “pre-invasive cancer,” so I think that means we’re spared a sequel to the Brooks situation? “I don’t want to open another can of worms,” Meghan says during her one-on-one interview. “No more cancergate!” From your lips to God’s ears, Meghan!

Peggy is…still having trouble with figures of speech. And pop-culture references. And slang. And basically anything that is not straightforward English. This was funny for maybe the first few episodes but now this is getting a little much — is this the only interesting thing about Peggy besides her breasts? (Probably.) It comes up while Peggy is teaching one of her daughters (Gianelle? Giovanna? I still don’t know!) how to make the Armenian dish sarma, which apparently looks enough like a marijuana joint that Diko and Gi start having to explain to Peggy what a blunt is and who Cheech and Chong are.

Figures of speech come up again later at the housewives’ dinner, where, after putting aside talk of whether or not Peggy had cancer, the housewives start recapping the drama of Kelly’s party from last week’s episode. Kelly tells Peggy it wasn’t her place to referee the showdown between Vicki and Tamra and that she should have stopped trying to be the “peanut gallery” with her comments. For some reason, this sets Peggy off, and she pushes back against Kelly’s criticism with such commitment and passion that even Kelly is speechless, and you know it’s rare for Kelly to not have something to say about anything. Even Tamra is impressed with Peggy’s gumption. Peggy looks so satisfied after shutting down Peggy, asking the other housewives, “Next?”

Lydia is…feeling left out. As she plans for her husband’s “balls voyage” party (why do these people keeping having such weird celebrations?) ahead of his upcoming vasectomy, she finds out that she wasn’t invited to the other housewives’ dinner. Like a champ, though, she invites them all to Doug’s party anyway.

Tamra is…still needing a break from Shannon. While shopping with Meghan for a recovery gift for Kelly, Tamra fills Meghan in about everything that went down during the “boobs voyage” party, particularly the hard time Shannon gave her for not coming to Shannon’s defense while she was throwing down with Lydia. Tamra says it’s “tiresome” how overdramatic Shannon is, but she doesn’t help things at all when, at the dinner, she tells Lydia that the reason she wasn’t invited was all Shannon’s fault. That may be true, but that can’t be good for their friendship — are Tamra and Shannon just about to fall out as Tamra and Vicki start to make amends?