Ramona gets a nice surprise party while the country's political system crumbles.

By Tim Stack
May 03, 2017 at 10:45 PM EDT
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Credit: Heidi Gutman/Bravo
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  • Bravo
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You know what I never want to relive again? THE 2016 ELECTION. But unfortunately that’s what was in store for us in this week’s episode of RHONY.

So the big drama is our country’s descent into hell a.k.a. the election. Carole is obvs really passionate about this (ABC NEWS!!!!) and decides to go and canvass with her mom in Pennsylvania. First of all, there has never been a mention of this mother, which is a little weird. Carole talks about the Kennedys more than she does her family. But also, Carole hasn’t introduced her mother to Adam. Um, they’ve been dating for a long-ass time. Also, Carole goes door to door in this green military jacket with like a turquoise fur lining. It looks real Jim Henson’s workshop. I feel like that ensemble may not have been the best look for Pennsylvania.

While all this going down, Ramona is getting herself a fresh face. Old Singer is turnin’ the big 6-0 and decides she needs a little lasering. Most of the process is her entire face being numbed. That’s what scared Ramona the most and made her think she needed to “belt” for the door. Translated into real person language, that means “bolt.”

Meanwhile, Sonja heads out on the town for a date with Rocco, whom we met last season. Sonja explains that she enjoys spending time with Rocco but she also likes having sex with “Frenchy.” She has two piles for men just like laundry — dirty and clean. But Sonja is also super pissed at Tinsley. She thinks Tins isn’t being as nice and generous as she should be given that she’s living in Sonja’s home. For example, she hasn’t even given Sonja a birthday card! The shame! Sonja also claims that she irons Tinsley’s pillow cases, which I would like to see some video evidence of.

Back to Ramona’s 60th b-day: Dorinda has decided to throw her an elaborate surprise party. While they look for ties to buy Tom, Dorinda gives Luann the full breakdown of the secret. She’s sending out fake invites for a party for her “friend” and tells Ramona she should come because there will be a lotta single European men. Ramona is naturally hooked — it’s like telling me that All Saints is having a sample sale.

Finally, it’s time for Carole’s much-discussed election party, to which Ramona was disinvited. For some reason, Bethenny’s “managing director” is already there like squaring things away. Is this is a secret Skinnygirl party? And yes, there appears to be low-cal booze all over the place. One pleasant surprise is that Heather Thomson shows up and doesn’t mention anything about Yummy Tummy. Not surprisingly, the party is pretty rough considering the outcome of the election.

The next day Carole calls her mother and reads her speech that she was going to read at her party. It was slightly nuts that Carole was reading a speech at an election party — it’s not like she was HRC’s running mate. But it was still sorta moving. Then she goes to day drink. Thatta girl.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Carole meets Ramona dress shopping on the UES. The world may be ending, but Ramona Singer is turning 60 and needs an inappropriate dress! Ramona tells Carole about how she wants to celebrate her birthday and Carole basically spoils the surprise, but Ramona has the attention span of a kitten and quickly moves on to a different topic. She still can’t really understand why Bethenny is so mad at her for bringing up Brynn.

It’s finally time for this much-discussed surprise party. No one in this group seems to read invitations or dress guidelines. It’s supposed to be a party where everyone is in little black dresses. Tinsley first pops up in like a faux wedding gown. The, Carole comes in a jumpsuit. Ramona is supposed to arrive with Dorinda but gets tired of waiting, so she hops in a cab. The b-day girl has double-booked her evening with a date so she’s gotta get moving on the European men.

She’s actually quite surprised when she shows up at the party. There are a ton of her blond, facially frozen friends in attendance, as well as the Housewives’ favorite businessman, Harry. Sonja is not psyched to see him with a new girlfriend though. She’s also not psyched that Tinsley went to the bar and didn’t bring her back something. They live together after all!

Ramona actually ends up inviting her date to come to the party but can’t remember his name. She knows it starts with a G! I mean that narrows it down a tad. His name is George, and he seems nice but a little odd, and it’s unclear where they met. Something tells me there won’t be a date two.

Episode Recaps

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona, LuAnn, Sonja, Carole, Heather, Kristen, and Dorinda — and oh, yes, Bethenny — are in a New York state of mind.

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  • 12
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  • Bravo

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