Dorinda goes off on Sonja, and Carole is really bad at naming her pets.
RECAP: 4/26/17 Real House Wives of New York
Credit: Bravo

FINALLY SOME ACTION!!!! It’s taken a while for this season to have some juicy moments but praise be for Dorinda Medley. The woman who loves a belligerent bra party really took the drama to the next level on tonight’s RHONY.

We picked up as we left off last week, with Tinsley and Sonja arriving at Ramona’s house for a seemingly normal party. Everyone chit-chats and hits the buffet. Ramona claims to have cooked all the food herself, but Dorinda calls BS. But Ramona isn’t Dorinda’s focus: Sonja is the one about to get clocked.

Before that happens, Carole updates Sonja on the previous dinner they all shared where Ramona went H.A.M. on Bethenny and her B-movie past. Sonja doesn’t see the big deal since in her mind Cinemax is a top-shelf entertainment brand. Also, Sonja says, look at how she’s behaved, and her daughter has turned out fine.

Sonja sits down and says hi to both Dorinda and Luann like nothing has happened. It all seems fine and then Dorinda is basically like, “F— this!” and all but flips the table Teresa Giudice-style. She tells Sonja to “shut your mouth” and then says her “Holland Tunnel” vagina should have an Easy Pass. I would say it’s more of like a small bridge on a private island but whatever. Meanwhile, Candace Bushnell (Sex and the City) is at this dinner and looking like she’s having a helluva time.

Sonja explains that the only reason she’s been talking to the press is that she’s been doing an off-Broadway show. Dorinda calls that piece of art “disgusting” but Tinsley immediately defends Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man. Sonja agrees and says that Charlie Rose also enjoyed it. We then learn that Sonja was a “brand consultant” for Donald Trump years ago, back when she had a cute bob. Hopefully this won’t be a relationship that comes up in the FBI investigations.

Then, the fight just starts getting real nuts, with Dorinda yelling, “Fix the toilet in your townhouse!” repeatedly and making Edie Beale references. I mean is the toilet still broken from when she dropped her Blackberry? Because I think that was like at least four seasons ago and I do agree that the toilet should be checked out.

Bethenny pulls up in her car to pick up Carole and can hear these women screaming on the phone. She says she’s like Joe Pesci in Home Alone, hiding outside in her SUV. But before Carole leaves, she has to tell Ramona she doesn’t really want her to come to her election party. Ramona is adamant that she come but Carole both doesn’t feel like she’s educated enough and doesn’t want her there if she’s voting for Trump.

After endless screaming, suddenly Ramona emerges with a birthday cake apparently for herself and Sonja (and sorta Bethenny). Apparently this whole thing was a birthday party. Man, Dorinda gets weird energy around birthday cakes.

Brunch happens the next day at Luann’s house. Candace Bushnell has a bit of a hangover. Ramona is appalled that Carole would uninvite her from her election party, forgetting that she just uninvited Sonja to her house like three minutes ago. Tinsley and Sonja arrive in matching floppy hats that are a bit Carmen Sandiego and a bit AHS: Coven. They can overhear the ladies talking about them, so they’re cautious arriving. But Dorinda greets Sonja with open arms and both act like everything is super cool now. There’s no birthday cake around, which is clearly Dorinda’s agitator.

Tinsley ends up meeting up with Luann and Dorinda for lunch at Tao and is a little nervous because she didn’t tell Sonja. As is standard with Tinsley, within mere moments she’s discussing her mug shot. The other topic of convo is that Dorinda is throwing Ramona a surprise 60th b-day, so that should be reeeeeeaaaaal interesting. Also, Tinsley tells the girls that Sonja is dating a young man she calls “Frenchy.”

The dude’s actual name is Edgar, and Sonja is seen prepping for a date with him. Her prep mostly consists of throwing all her underwear on the floor of the bathroom, smelling which ones are clean and then soaking them in her bidet. This is all for “watching a movie.” Uh huh. Oh we’ve all “watched movies,” Lady Morgan.

Bethenny goes over to Carole’s house to chat about how much she’s still mad at Ramona and meets her new cats, whom Carole named Baby. Her dog is ALSO named Baby. So all the animals in this house have the same name. Carole also isn’t sure if the cats are male or female. She says cats don’t really care. I mean I don’t love cats but I feel like you gotta at least give them individual names and know which sex.

Sonja is chillin’ at home, chatting with her intern about how she feels hurt by Tinsley. Sonja knows the owner of Tao and can’t believe she would go to lunch with Lu and Dorinda and not find out. Sonja has eyes everywhere, Tinsley! Especially at Tao and Beautique and Sushi Roxx. And don’t forget Boogaloo.

Tinsley arrives home and hears Sonja talking about her and immediately confronts her roomie. Tinsley gets emotional and just says she doesn’t have that many friends now in New York, so she needs Sonja to be cool. In case you haven’t heard, she JUST GOT ARRESTED!!!

Sonja says Tinsley didn’t even get her a b-day card. The only thing Tinsley did was give Sonja a candle because she brought a guy home to Sonja’s daughter’s bedroom. Is that the traditional etiquette? A scented candle? You can learn so much from this show.