The ladies get even more drunk and then proceed to cry for 90 percent of the episode.

By Tim Stack
August 02, 2017 at 10:00 PM EDT
Credit: Bravo
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Well, the tequila has not worn off…thankfully. When we rejoin the gals of RHONY, they’re still nearing blackout in Mexico after basically binge-drinking tequila. Sonja is berating Ramona on why she won’t admit she’s unhappy. But also Sonja is just feeling really frisky. She talks about Ramona’s behind and says she wants to “butt f—” her. Then, she starts eyeing Luann coming back from the beach and wants to have sex with her. Those tequila horns really unlocked something in Sonja.

But she’s not the only one: Pretty quickly, Bethenny decides she needs to get completely naked and jump in the pool. Then, Sonja gets naked too. Ramona flashes Carole, who seems unimpressed by the Singer breasts. Carole insists she has the best breasts because they’re real. Tinsley doesn’t like her boobs.

Bethenny, naked on a pool noodle, and Ramona instantly start arguing again about what a bad person Singer is. Then, Bethenny starts getting weepy again, which leads to Ramona crying about this fight. They’re like outright sobbing while Dorinda attempts to get a bathing suit on a very drunk Sonja. Carole compares the experience to an “exorcism.” But the real craziness is in the pool, where still-naked Bethenny and Ramona are sobbing like they just watched Me Before You. “I’m not evil,” Ramona screams at Bethenny. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING.

Finally, the pair make up and stop bawling. Bethenny gets out of the pool and finds Sonja is actually now dressed in Bethenny’s bikini. Sonja then attempts to put the moves on Madame Skinnygirl. Bethenny humors her with a couple kisses, but that’s all.

Once again, Bethenny is the only one on time for dinner, and once again she flips the f— out about it. Well, Dorinda is not having it. But what she is having is multiple martinis because Medley is taaaaaaanked. She starts slurring and talking about Bethenny trying to be too perfect. Then she picks up a knife(!) and accidentally stabs herself. So like the night is not going great. Dorinda eventually runs off to her room while Bethenny sulks. Only a few of the housemates actually end up coming to dinner, including Carole, who basically wears a negligee.

The next morning the tension is thick, and you can tell Bethenny is still mad because she keeps her splatter paint sunglasses on. Dorinda is not apologizing but also doesn’t seem to really remember the night before. I do think Dorinda was in the wrong, but Bethenny is also not a victim constantly. She has a pretty vicious tongue so it’s weird when she comes across so sensitive. It kinda feels hypocritical.

Dorinda heads back to her room, and Carole visits in a cute pink satin PJ set. Dorinda says she sometimes reacts and doesn’t think about what she’s doing in the moment. Some sort of creature scratching on the headboard interrupts the ladies’ chat. Dorinda is terrified it’s a mouse because she’s super freaked out by them. “I hate the way they’re so smart,” she explains. Um, okay. Thankfully, she and Bethenny pretty quickly make up. And Bethenny starts crying again.

Sonja surprisingly stays out of all this drama and simply Skypes her butt with “Frenchie.”

Tinsley, Ramona, and Carole all decide to go fishing while the rest of the women get massages. Tinsley announces on the boat that she’s headed to Vegas after this trip to meet Scott. My theory is she’s either getting married or going to see Britney. She also tells the girls that she’s planning a “Thank You and F— You” party for Sonja. Carole reveals that she’s quite good at fishing but then proceeds to catch nothing. The women instead go to a fish market once they hit dry land and lie to the rest of the house about their catch.

It’s finally time for the final dinner. This time, Tinsley is taaaaanked. Luann scolds her for dropping the “f” bomb so many times. Tinsley shoots back and says Luann says “Palm Beach” too much. I mean, she may be drunk but she’s got a point. Bethenny then asks everyone to give their “thorn and rose” for the trip, meaning the best and worst moments. They’re all pretty solid until Luann says her “rose” is her husband. It makes one want to watch her falling in the bushes over and over again.

Episode Recaps

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona, LuAnn, Sonja, Carole, Heather, Kristen, and Dorinda — and oh, yes, Bethenny — are in a New York state of mind.

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