Real Housewives of New York City recap: Reunion Part Three
Heather and Luann just can't see eye to eye, and Ramona just can't stay awake.
Well, they’ll all probably be sucking on throat lozenges and demanding rosé over ice chips from their interns for the next three weeks to recover from this reunion, but the ladies of RHONY still had “the greatest time” hashing it out and mending those fences littered with Milly dresses and naked men.
Say what you will about the New York housewives—really, say it… they will scream at you for it, write a song about it, and then forget it ever happened without learning a thing—but these women actually seem to care about each other in some twisted Single White Female/Upper East Side/Love/Hate kind of way. Never did I ever think I’d see a Housewives reunion that made me cry tears of anything other than fury (that Carole/Dorinda trip deserves a “Most Shocking Sincerity in a Reality Series” Emmy), or one that ended with a group hug and a promise to meet up for dinner happy hour after the cameras were off.
But the season is finally over, so this is the last time to address the good, the bad, and the ugly (dresses):
- I hope Andy Cohen gave Bethenny a bonus check after this reunion was over because not only did she keep this reunion moving, she somehow seemed to make each of the other women more bearable. She read them for filth when they were wrong, lifted them up when they were right, and constantly made everyone admit that they—herself included—were acting like crazy people.
- Speaking of Bethenny, I hope the trend of wearing snazzy pants catches on… her impression of taking off for at the races to get a room in the vacation house was a kind of physicality usually reserved for tossing drinks and pulling hair in these Bravo circles.
- Things Sonja is still insistent upon: Those people who constantly lie to her about her international fashion lifestyle brand are not consultants they’re her partners; Madonna tried and tried to get into her fashion show but security just wasn’t having it; gold lamé is a neutral.
- And yet, Luann is somehow still more delusional: “This is one of my dresses, you don’t love it?”
- “Carole was once the only housewife to carry the title of ‘widow’” is an incredibly awkward way to introduce the discussion about Carole and Dorinda’s healing trip to London, but I understand that the show wants to relive this season’s best glimpse at honesty and class over and over again. And finally, an explanation for “Doris”!
- It was firmly established that Ramona had three glasses of wine at lunch and was in great need of some peanut M&Ms.
- But no M&Ms came, so Ramona fell asleep while everyone was being nice to each other and Andy Cohen f—king loved it.
- Another touching moment came when Carole explained that her wish to have “one more day” with Anthony would be now, in the present. But before she was even finished choking back her tears, it’s on to…
- Naked strangers vs. Unannounced Room Entry in the Girl Code Court of Law. Loser: EVERYONE. Heather is still overreacting, Luann is still protesting too much, and I simply can’t talk about it anymore but you feel free to. (I’ll get you started: What’s all this, “You wanna talk about it—we can talk about it!” stuff?)
- Finally, Luann walks her sparkly ass over to be-robed Heather and they hug it out over stupidity, which leads to everyone else hugging it out, which lead to the unfortunate side effect of having to see the back of Kristen’s hair.
- In the end, Andy deems this season a winner: “A girl power, bonding thing.” The ladies toast to friendship; they toast to being cool; they toast to always having the greatest time.
The Real Housewives of New York City
Ramona, LuAnn, Sonja, Carole, Heather, Kristen, and Dorinda — and oh, yes, Bethenny — are in a New York state of mind.