Real Housewives of New York City recap: London Calling
Carole and Dorinda bond in London. Meanwhile, Sonja loses a tooth and Bethenny pops out a boob.
Now I like to try and be funny with my Housewives recaps. I try to sprinkle in some Bootique jokes (Buutik). Maybe an occasional reference to how much boobage is shown. But this week’s episode of RHONY is hard to poke fun at…at least the very beginning. The first half was like a “A Very Special RHONY.” But like in a good way—not the kind of “very special episode” like when Punky Brewster’s friend got trapped in an abandoned refrigerator.
We followed up on Carole and Dorinda’s trip to London. Both women had ties to the city due to their late husbands. Carole had come back to retrieve her husband’s ashes and Dorinda hadn’t actually been back since her husband passed away a few years ago. Now, I had not really loved Carole this season. I found her to be sort of aloof, which was weird because she was my favorite in previous seasons. But she really revealed a lot in this episode and had some incredibly moving moments where it was just her and her husband’s ashes. There wasn’t even activity—just her laying in bed, with one hand on the urn. Still, I cried along with Carole while she clearly relived memories that she hadn’t thought about in a while.
This series is so often about superficial stuff like, well, Beautique, so seeing two grown women sit in a hotel room and discuss grief and death was almost shocking. It felt like one of the most real moments in a series that so often feels manipulated or plotted. Dorinda did admit at one point that she may have had an English accent which 1.) I need to hear and 2.) I completely believe.
Well that’s about as long as I could stay serious. There are important, ludicrous things to discuss like Sonja’s intern Raquelle using Ms. Morgan’s champagne flutes for wine. FIRE HER SONJA. Lady Morgan did take a moment to lecture Ramona on how to properly be a wing woman. Apparently, that’s what Ramona was attempting to do in Turks & Caicos with Luann, but it all backfired obvs. As Sonja explained, you can hook up with a guy while you’re on vacation at the beach but “he stays at the beach.” So wise. So very very wise. While they’re discussing manners for ladies hooking up over 50, there’s a weird knock at the door and a couple hot dudes enter with roses and invites to a Bethenny soiree. Frankly knows how to bait these gals.
So the Skinnygirl party appears to be set in the same white loft where we had the Smile Train function as well as Luann’s drapey blouses shoot. Everyone was dressed in the same color as Bethenny’s new shelves: Skinnygirl Red. There was a very awkward moment where Bethenny spoke with one of her five assistants who had parted her hair weirdly. I’m guessing she was shamed when the cameras weren’t looking.
While this was all happening in New York, Dorinda and Carole had their own cocktail party. Naturally Carole decided to wear overalls and a fur vest because you know. #Forever21
At one point, a bunch of dudes in leather jackets showed up looking for Carole and I’m fairly certain they were Imagine Dragons. Or OneRepublic. Then, some gal in a feather coat named Trinny comes flying in and makes a beeline for Dorinda. So many interesting outerwear choices happening in the U.K. Lotta textures.
Back in the States, Bethenny tries her damnedest to get Ramona laid, which is not easy. Let me put on my big surprise face. There are literally dudes everywhere, including some man with unfortunate hair, who I believe is Constantine from American Idol. Well, Ramona doesn’t care about him. And she really doesn’t want someone who mixes drinks. “He’s a bartender,” she says dismissively of one of Bethenny’s picks.
Finally Sonja shows up and the party basically ignites. She goes full force into the crowd and hones in on one dude who she desperately wants to see shirtless. Well she tries to rip his buttons off with her tooth and pops a tooth. But don’t worry RHONY fans: “I have veterinarians that will do it,” she says referring to her tooth being fixed. VETERINARIANS. Bethenny hears about this, topples over, and her boob pops out. And that concludes a “A Very Special RHONY.”
The Real Housewives of New York City
Ramona, LuAnn, Sonja, Carole, Heather, Kristen, and Dorinda — and oh, yes, Bethenny — are in a New York state of mind.