Real Housewives of New Jersey recap: 'The Apology'
The fallout from the Boca Raton cake-tossing incident continues. Yes, that is a real sentence, and yes, it does reflect the reality of the situation.
Happy Real Housewives of New Jersey night, everyone!
Siggy’s decision to call Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga a couple of “animals” for staging a dessert-themed game of dodgeball during their mini-vacation has had ripple effects throughout the whole group — especially since they all forgot to invite Siggy to their little beachside yoga bash the next day out of what Siggy thinks is spite.
Siggy also thinks that Margaret’s being pretty two faced right about now, since she’s making such a sincere effort to buddy up to Teresa and Melissa — which, let’s be honest, is her best chance of becoming a permanent fixture on this show. But Margaret swears it was just an oversight, and the fact that she called her Soggy after Siggy started crying about it was just her Joan Rivers-style comedic schtick. She thinks she’s so hilarious…groan.
Although Margaret’s got some party planning to do for the launch of her new bag collection (which has been made especially difficult by the dragged-out renovation project going on at her house and the fact that her ovens have been so neglected over the years that they up and quit on her), she decides to pay Melissa’s store a visit.
Melissa is excited about the prospect of taking notes from a fellow businesswoman like Margaret, but she’s probably even more amped about getting to watch some digital drama unfold in real time. At the store, Melissa and Danielle Staub egg Margaret on to call Siggy and give her an invitation to her gathering, which Siggy, without mincing words, politely declines.
Sure, Siggy’s got other reasons for not going — Frank’s moving in has made for one very awkward household dynamic, since after 18 years away he still thinks he can come in and “rule the roost.” But really, it’s just her displeasure with Margaret that informs her decision not to RSVP in the affirmative.
And guess what? Dolores follows her lead on that note, and the two decide to have a charcoal-mask-and-red-wine slumber party at Siggy’s house instead. Sure, it’s a little lower key, but they’re having a good time and that’s what counts. Dolores has taken Siggy’s side on the matter for the wrong reasons, though; she doesn’t remember Siggy calling the sisters “animals,” and unlike us at home, she doesn’t have the benefit of a cutaway to remind us of that 100 percent happening. So, she’ll choose to believe Siggy because, let’s face it, with the charcoal masks on, they’re practically twinning tonight.
The fact that Siggy isn’t there for Margaret’s launch is hardly a surprise to Teresa, who just had a sit-down with Siggy and got an endless earful about how much she hates Margaret. She and Siggy have made up with one another — they both agreed they just said things that were out of character and they’ve been friends for too long to let a little spilled icing ruin everything — but she still knows the tension lingers with “No-Soul Pigtails” over there.
But the absence of Dolores is surprising to Teresa and Melissa. Teresa realizes that Dolores is becoming “Siggy’s minion,” at which point she finds out Dolores turned down the party invite by citing “loyalty,” which Teresa thinks is quite rich since they’ve only known each other a little while at this point.
The girls retreat to talk it out a little further, which gives us the opportunity to watch as all the Joes (well, except Giudice, who’s still in jail) converge to talk about just how crazy all the drama can be with their wives.
Meanwhile, Teresa starts stirring the pot even more by revealing how much Siggy hates Margaret, at which point she decides to text her with a request to squash it… (Recap continues on page 2)
The RHONJ editing crew had to work overtime to get this back-and-forth view of the exchange right. But what comes of it is that Margaret offers to put the past behind them. When Siggy receives it, she blows off Dolores’ banter about how it’s fake (“perfunctory”) and she doesn’t owe her any kind of meeting of the minds and decides to just accept the offer. Just as Margaret arms up with her cell to sling another cruel nickname at Siggy (probably), she gets the response, and the group is quite stunned by the civility of it. But Margaret is already bracing for the waterworks, and lo…she gets some.
But she doesn’t have the reaction to seeing Siggy go “Stage Five” Soggy again that she expected. The two engage in an extraordinarily tense conversation at the diner, as waiters and other patrons alike stare blankly at the train wreck in motion at their booth. Margaret says Siggy’s a hypocrite for making her living as a lifestyle guru who walks away from conflict while promising to “end” her out of anger; Siggy says Margaret is a lousy friend for trying to cut her out of the friend circle she brought her into; and it all devolves into a particularly juvenile debate over who knows more about Joan Rivers’ comedic timing.
Once Siggy starts crying though, Margaret realizes her reaction isn’t for show. There’s no one there to see it but her — and, well, the millions of us at home, but never mind that for now. Margaret agrees to try to tone down her snarky name calling, and Siggy decides to thicken up her skin (the very opposite of what the mask she was wearing the night before promised to do, oddly enough) and not get so upset by everything.
This détente might not last, but at least it’s enough for the women to get through their comfort food today.
Speaking of food, Melissa’s husband up and bought a restaurant without even telling her first. And given how much he’s struggling and wants to make it work to give his dad something to do, she has to bite her tongue (and the pasta) and let it slide this time.
Similarly, Dolores has to practice patience when it comes to her ex-husband’s parenting approach because he’s now in the picture again after all this time, and he does have some good experience, as a man, to draw from when discussing their son’s future and decisions. These two are surprisingly polite when it comes to ironing out their differences on the home front. Maybe there is a future for them after all?
Because from the look ahead to next week, we know that Dolores isn’t afraid to lash out when she feels the need to; Danielle is about to get put her place. And #cakegate isn’t over yet, either; Siggy might have made nice with Teresa and Margaret for now, but she’s clearly going to resort to polling a crowd about how inappropriate it is to sling sweets across the lawn at a fancy restaurant, which means this food fight is gonna get even more delicious.