Teresa and Jacqueline make amends while Dolores celebrates her leopard-themed birthday
The clever beginning to this week’s episode of RHONJ let’s us all take a look into the morning rituals of all the Jersey ladies. What do we learn? They’re just like us! Little Gino Gorga tells his mom boutiques suck, Milania expresses her preference of a Teresa-cooked breakfast, and Dolores stays in bed while her son gets up early for gym training. During all of the hubbub, Teresa explains to her daughters that she can’t walk them to the curb due to her ankle bracelet tracking. Granted, their curb is about a mile from their front door. So when the family dog charges toward the school bus, it’s up to Juicy Joe to hobble to the front door in his boxers to get her back.
While the dog is racing back up to the house, Jacqueline is wrapping her brain around her phone call with Teresa on New Year’s Eve. As she contemplates the motives behind the Skinny Italian’s call, through yoga and talking to her husband in every room of the house, she comes to the realization that she should just stop by her old friend’s house. With two latté’s in hand, Jacqueline heads to the sprawling mansion of her frenemy, catching Teresa at a bad time. Due to her homebound status, Teresa has decided to go sans make-up and trade in her pumps for some leopard slippers. “I wrote her a note and called her on New Year’s Day, but I never expected she would come to my house,” exclaims the shocked Teresa. It seems that Jacqueline misunderstood Teresa’s reminders of existence as actual olive branches.
However, through tears and reminiscing on their long relationship, Jacqueline tries to find a way for the pair to reunite once again. Thankfully for her, Teresa has been reading books, like the Bible and probably Gone Girl, which have taught her to forgive others. As Lucy and Ethel embrace for a hug, it seems the friendship is back where it should be, and to commemorate, Teresa bends her legs over her head and asks Jacqueline to pull her feet to the wall. As any close friends do, Teresa also shares how to make a homemade dildo out of any common item, including a shower cap, Sharpie, and vanilla extract.
Yeah. So anyway, Melissa is busy with her retail business. After watching Kyle Richards build her caftan and wedges mecca “Kyle by Alene Too,” Melissa decides to go for a specific look in her boutique as well. She wants to fill her store with jumpers and tight-fitting skirts, but her business partner — who looks like Pink’s out-of-touch aunt from Tampa — tries to bring a focus back to women of all shapes, sizes, and ages. The two don’t agree for a time, but then the sight of Jackie’s tutu brings the importance of business relationships back into perspective and they make up. Feeling high on her “Envy” business, Melissa decides to stop by Teresa’s house to visit the screaming family.
Even though building her business is bringing her satisfaction outside of the home, Melissa just wishes that her hubby would provide a little more support with the kids and housework. Teresa — giving an unbiased and judgment free opinion as always (cough) — tells her sister-in-law to calm down and realize that Joe is a busy man, providing for his family in order to uphold his traditional Italian values. According to Tre, Melissa needs to realize that her work ethic won’t bring the family together; it will tear them apart. To accent the tension, Milania throws a dirty napkin into her mom’s face, which proves that the Giudices know how to go out with a bang.
NEXT: Dolores and her ex-husband/BFF