February 06, 2018 at 10:00 PM EST

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

TV Show
Reality TV
run date

It’s on this lovely foundation that all of these women head to Teddi’s beach house: a gorgeous, light-dappled, beachfront five-bedroom property in an extravagantly wealthy area of California that we’re all supposed to pretend is a two-bedroom condo with enough air mattresses for 12 at Panama Beach during a party school’s beach weekend. None of these other dummies have beach houses, so I don’t know what Teddi is so nervous about, although I do relate to her anxieties about wanting everyone to have a good time. So I’m sure she loved it when they all arrived, sat down at her cute kitchen island, started unpacking their food (they really brought potluck, especially Dorit!), and immediately started arguing.

Erika got the full rundown from LVP in the car ride out, where Rinna also FaceTimed in. I’m enjoying easy breezy momager Rinna and all her teenager-and-rat wranglin’, but she’s really on a whole different plane this season; I think this is the third group function she’s FaceTimed into. But, hey, somebody’s got to play Billie the Stripper-Druggie-Soldier-Spy on Days of Our Lives, and if it’s not going to be that other actress who played her, or that other actress who played her, I guess it’s going to be Rinna. Erika and LVP arrive, gushing about Teddi’s cute house. Then Kyle and Dorit arrive much later than expected, with Dorit acting like she just had to reenact the plot of Human Centipede in the back of the limo during a ride she describes as “the worst experience [she’s] ever had, literally.”

Suddenly, things get a little chilly. Lisa brings up that Dorit and Kyle are late now, like they were late to dinner the other night, so now the cards are on the table that they need to talk about. Lucky Teddi and Erika get to sit there nervously while the queen bees go back and forth about which thing Lisa was really upset about: Is it that she felt her big news was brushed aside, like she says it is? Or is it that “maybe you didn’t like that it wasn’t about you for a minute,” like Kyle says it is? Or is it very obviously about Kyle feeling left out by Lisa and Dorit, and Lisa wanting more attention from both of them (and Dorit just being thrilled to somehow be standing calmly in the eye of this storm circling around her)?

When they go out onto the beautiful, calm beach where beautiful, calm Camille has just arrived, the topic is raised again with perhaps a little more clarity. Lisa didn’t like that Kyle said she and Dorit were plotting against her, and Kyle doesn’t like that Lisa has apparently been more open with Dorit about her childhood in recent weeks when Kyle has always been so open with her, saying to Lisa — I kid you not — “I’ve been your friend longer!” Somehow, this is what actually registers with Lisa, and she says their friendship is too important to get caught up on this misunderstanding. Lisa tells Kyle that she’s sorry if she was unfair to her and requests an apology in return for Kyle suggesting that Lisa was plotting against her. It’s given, and RHOBH’s strongest — yet somehow most precarious — friendship is restored.

When Kyle gets out of her chair to go get more wine, Lisa immediately gets up and steals it because it’s more comfortable. And all was right in the world.

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