The women spend time with dogs in Hong Kong, they return to Beverly Hills for Lisa Vanderpump's rosé party.

By Caitlin Brody
March 28, 2017 at 10:00 PM EDT
Credit: NBC

We start off right where we left off — still on this never-ending trip to Hong Kong — with Rinna accusing Dorit of hosting a coke party. Because that’s a normal, non-abrupt topic to bring up at dinner while surrounded by a mere seven others. Right? Right. The cocaine accusation blesses us with our fourth flashback to former publicist Elliot Mintz, who speaks only in haikus and makes us question our own sanity. Dorit says that Rinna is completely out of line (sorry, I had to) — not to mention wrong — with that allegation, and LVP says that Rinna’s digs are really just getting too mean at this point. I don’t know that there was ever a time they were any less mean, but sure. Meanwhile, Eden continues to perfect her mannequin challenge-esque way of observing and never once participating. It’s kind of creepy. Rinna doesn’t care that everyone’s ready to attack her because (a) what else is new? And (b) she’s leaving early, anyway. While packing her Hong Kong lewks, Rinna FaceTimes with Delilah Belle, who seems seriously thirsty for a spin-off, and thanks LVP for the wonderful trip. Something tells me Rinna doesn’t know what the word “wonderful” means.

With Rinna gone, the ladies finally get to the reason they really went to Hong Kong — to shop! Watching the Housewivesshop is as comforting as curling up with a good book and cup of tea on a rainy day. Dorit chooses to wear a sweat suit while shopping in what seems to be one of Hong Kong’s ritziest neighborhoods, which is odd considering the outfit she wore to actually fly to Hong Kong. LVP drops $1400 like she’s buying a pack of Dentyne Ice. Eden buys Erika a friendship ring for $172, but they all were concerned she had actually spent thousands on it, because Eden is bizarre that way and that’s something she would do.

With warm credit cards and shopping bags in hand, the women are finally ready to, er, experience the whole reason they came to Hong Kong in the first place? The dogs! They visit the Yulin rescue dogs for a grand total of… 15 minutes? Honestly, though, those dogs are all so cute, I’d watch a Vanderpump Pets show. (Especially if that meant even more crossover opportunities with Vanderpump Rules!) Turns out, throw clothes and puppies at these women, and even the most vicious of words are forgiven.

Back in Beverly Hills — finally! — Erika, Eileen and Kyle head to lunch at mainstay Fig & Olive, where Erika apologizes to Eileen for lashing out at her. Erika admits that she had a meltdown and that her reaction had nothing to do with Eileen; it was all her own inner thoughts unraveling, and she loves and appreciates Eileen as a friend. Eileen is completely understanding. Could that have been the least dramatic fight aftermath in Housewives history? It’s certainly possible. But this is why I love Erika so much — she’s able to self evaluate, reflect, knows that relationships aren’t something to stomp all over, and has enough self awareness to know that the ability to sincerely apologize isn’t a weakness.

It turns out, though, that all that screaming and fighting between Eileen and Erika in Hong Kong was good practice for Erika’s turn on The Young and the Restless. They’re finally filming today — the scene involves Eileen’s character accidentally spilling coffee on Erika’s character’s white couture blazer, right before she has to show a million-dollar home. The two yell “bitch!” at each other (oh, if only those Y and R producers had seen what these two are really capable of…) and move on their merry way. Honestly, it’s like they were wearing kid gloves compared to the drama of Hong Kong. Also, does anyone else think Erika is a better actress than Eileen?

Meanwhile, LVP is hosting a Vanderpump Rosé party (because there’s nothing that family can’t do) at her home, which means plastic surgery-lite Kevin Lee arranges roses everywhere. (It’s gorgeous, obviously.) The dress code is pink, diamonds, and wedges. Wedges! Erika’s Mikey is aghast by the footwear requirement — they might as well have been told to wear these — so Erika decides to stand out in a rosé colored wig instead.Everyone else gets in on the action. Kyle had to steal a pink lace jumpsuit right off the mannequin of her store because she had nothing to wear, but it’s too long so she cuts the bottom. We’ve all been there. LVP and Pandora wear matching flower crowns. Dorit puts gold foil in her hair, as inspired by some fashion runway, and while I think it actually looks really cool, Jagger is adamant that it looks awful. (No matter how many times Dorit asks him.) There’s talk of PK accusing Rinna of being schizophrenic, and Eileen hopes Rinna will start to think before she speaks (could Eileen finally be coming to her senses?), but the drama seems to subside — for now, anyway.

One last thing: I’m very unclear as to how long Dorit’s hair actually is. Anybody?

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Bravo’s guilty-pleasure franchise meets California luxe

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