Rinna just can't help herself... even while on another continent.

By Caitlin Brody
March 14, 2017 at 10:00 PM EDT
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As any Bravo fan knows, no Housewives trip is complete without a packing montage, and there’s really no beating Erika when it comes to travel. Like, don’t even try. Sure, LVP may have three suitcases for five days in Hong Kong, Rinna may laugh maniacally… alone… while talking to her dog, but Erika’s glam squad (who naturally, are coming on the trip) created an actual lookbook, filled with new hairstyles and outfits that “need their moment.” I mean, that’s dedication. And while Erika may be just a leetle on the high side of the high-maintenance scale, oddly enough, she’s the only one of the ladies with the sense to wear sweats on a 15-hour flight.

In Hong Kong, the women (yes, all of them) are staying at the stunning Shangri-La Hotel. It has all the usual makings of a Housewives hotel mainstay: a slew of employees lined up in anticipation of their arrival and over-the-top fruit baskets. Their first Hong Kong outing entails drinks at the hotel. Erika shows off her first look, which includes victory rolls, and Dorit already starts throwing shade, claiming she simply cahn’t belieeeeve Erika chose to sit next to her. Eden brings up the fact that she and her man-bunned Internet kindred spirit will finally meet in person — she’s offered to pay to fly him from London to New York, where they’ll spend a weekend in bed together at some hotel. All of the women are horrified — what if he’s a serial killer? As an experienced online dater myself, this is a very valid concern. But Eden tells them that she has nothing to worry about. After all, she could kill him. Erm. Noted.

LVP starts talking about her Yulin dog documentary and, of course, the music turns all dramatic and somber. It really is a bit of a buzzkill, and the women seem to feel that way, too. How do I know? Well, despite all of the ladies traveling on Bravo’s… I mean, LVP’s dime, only Dorit is going to go with LVP to her documentary meeting. I mean, of course I understand wanting to be in Hong Kong and actually experience Hong Kong, but they don’t even pretend to care about LVP’s undertaking and the actual reason they’re even in China in the first place. Ultimately, Eileen decides to join Dorit, too, and though LVP is shocked, she’s happy to have her, and it ultimately bridges the gap between them. At least for the moment.

Meanwhile, Rinna feels that it’s simply been one week too long since she was in the hot seat and stirring the pot, so she decides to have at it again. You read that correctly — even while on vacation in Hong Kong, Rinna just can’t help herself, even though it’s a miracle that she was invited in the first place. Hey, at least she’s consistent? She tells Dorit that she heard she’s been running her mouth (hmmm sounds familiar) saying that Rinna is addicted to drugs based on her whole “I put Xanax in my smoothies ha ha ha” mess of a situation. Dorit says that if she ever retold that story (hmmm sounds familiar again), she did it in a joke-y way. Rinna being Rinna — meaning as bizarre and off the wall as humanly possible — claims that no one actually told her this rumor. Rather, she learned about it from her sixth sense. Right. Because that’s normal.

While Dorit and Eileen join LVP to watch the trailer for her documentary and bawl their eyes out, Erika and Kyle have a heart to heart in Hong Kong Park about their relationships with their mothers, and Eden and Rinna drink iced tea in a skyscraper. At Rinna’s prodding, Eden mentions that Dorit brought up Rinna’s alleged pill problem with her.

All of the various outings come to an end when the group goes for a tour in a “junk boat,” which is a name that causes quite the controversy among the bedazzled women who are anything but junky. Eden decides to wear a black wig with bangs, which fazes no one. Before anyone can have a good time, Dorit takes the floor to clear the air: She knows someone in the group has been saying she thinks Rinna is addicted to pills. And will that person please announce themselves? Naturally, the whole thing becomes a headache and a half, with Dorit denying it and Rinna sticking to her “sixth sense” B.S. and prodding Eden to “pipe in.” As per usual, it’s another she-said-she-said situation that, of course, comes to no conclusion. That is, until Erika and Dorit have at it. YASSSSS! Finally. Some drama we can actually get behind. Erika says she recalls Dorit alluding to Rinna’s drug problem, Dorit says Erika’s putting words in her mouth, and the whole thing comes to a standstill when Erika calls Dorit out for saying “stupid s—” and basically being “bulls—” in general. From Goddess Erika Jayne’s mouth to God’s ears.

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