Erika Girardi goes home to Georgia. Kyle throws a party with the Fat Jewish.
Another week, another Kyle Richards party. We’ve had adventures in The Great Gatsby, charades, and Carnie Wilson, and now… we have a Kyle by Alene Too/Fat Jewish party. If you’re not familiar with the Internet celebrity, don’t ask me to explain him because I don’t get it, but basically, Kyle asked the man behind 9.5 million Instagram followers to host an event for his rosé at her store to build some buzz.
But before the festivities begin (and boy, do they ever…) the women have lunch and reflect on the insanity that was the Carnie Wilson dessert party from last week. Here are the Cliffs Notes: Kyle somehow still doesn’t think Rinna is a bad person. Eileen, true to form, sticks up for Rinna and applauds her courage. (Sure, but no one should be applauded for owning up to the terrible things they said in the first place.) Dorit no longer trusts Rinna. (Duh.) LVP continues to question why Kyle is more upset with Eden than Rinna. Cut to Jiggy shaking uncontrollably (which I found quite troubling) and Rinna glugging down a Xanax-free smoothie without a care in the world.
Unfortunately, Kyle is wearing one of my least favorite lewks at her party — a skin-tight, strapless gold and black dress. She and daughter Sophia are wearing similar chokers, too, but no matter. It’s party time at Alene Too! And because Kyle’s the boss, she can wipe her face with lace thongs that still have the tags on if she so chooses. Rinna isn’t in attendance at this fete — she had a stomach bug and not even a call from the Fat Jewish himself could sway her. (Real talk: Is this a step up from Boy George? A step down from Carson Kressley? I want to hear from you on the bevy of cameos we’ve been #blessed with.) But everyone else is there. Dorit — who does the classy version of a nosedive out of her car — is trying out some clip-on bangs, which will become crucial to the drama as our story unfolds. And even Camille comes — why are you trying to make fetch happen? It’s never going to happen!
The Fat Jewish attempts to one-up Lisa Rinna’s nightmare-inducing yacht-table dance by rubbing his bulbous chest in Kyle’s face and giving her a lap dance as the evening’s entertainment. (Still, Rinna’s dance was worse.)
While Erika drinks wine out of the bottle with a straw — that’s our girl! — she and Dorit get into a confrontation over a compliment. Erika tells Dorit she likes her bangs, and Dorit claims it’s the first compliment she’s ever received from Erika. Cut to scenes from past episodes in which Erika compliments Dorit. Again, Bravo editors for the win. LVP starts talking about the dog sanctuary she’s creating in Hong Kong and enlists Erika and Kyle to join on the trip, which snowballs into all of the women being invited. (Yes, even Eileen. Jury’s out on whether or not Camille’s invited.) After all, the more attention that can come to LVP’s humanitarian endeavors, the better. (Am I the only one who is totally meh about this story line? I promise I’m a good person…)
After a gorgeous, albeit awkward garden lunch at Villa Rosa in which Dorit and Erika get into a tiff over how much or little they should trust others, Erika travels back home to Conyers, Georgia. She’s going to support her mother, Renee, who’s taken up theater and is living in her deceased grandparents’ house. Naturally, Erika doesn’t just travel home, ready to hop in her old sweats and bootcut jeans — she flies private, with her glam squad in tow. The trip is emotional for Erika, who was close to her grandparents growing up. Her grandmother recently died from Alzheimer’s — they used to speak on the phone every day.
Despite wearing a “Pat the Puss” shirt, Renee claims her motherhood duties, doting on Erika, bringing her tea and cookies, and saying how proud she is of her daughter. The two go to the cemetery, and, despite her best efforts not to, Erika begins to cry. Erika confesses to Renee that she’s been accused of being cold because she doesn’t cry, and Renee says she’s the sweetest girl in the whole wide world and admits that she was hard on Erika as a young girl. Renee tells Erika that her grandparents would be proud — she’s a good mom, a good wife… and yes, a good daughter.
Meanwhile, not a clue where Erika’s glam squad went.