Another week, another Kyle Richards party. We’ve had adventures in The Great Gatsby, charades, and Carnie Wilson, and now… we have a Kyle by Alene Too/Fat Jewish party. If you’re not familiar with the Internet celebrity, don’t ask me to explain him because I don’t get it, but basically, Kyle asked the man behind 9.5 million Instagram followers to host an event for his rosé at her store to build some buzz.
But before the festivities begin (and boy, do they ever…) the women have lunch and reflect on the insanity that was the Carnie Wilson dessert party from last week. Here are the Cliffs Notes: Kyle somehow still doesn’t think Rinna is a bad person. Eileen, true to form, sticks up for Rinna and applauds her courage. (Sure, but no one should be applauded for owning up to the terrible things they said in the first place.) Dorit no longer trusts Rinna. (Duh.) LVP continues to question why Kyle is more upset with Eden than Rinna. Cut to Jiggy shaking uncontrollably (which I found quite troubling) and Rinna glugging down a Xanax-free smoothie without a care in the world.
Unfortunately, Kyle is wearing one of my least favorite lewks at her party — a skin-tight, strapless gold and black dress. She and daughter Sophia are wearing similar chokers, too, but no matter. It’s party time at Alene Too! And because Kyle’s the boss, she can wipe her face with lace thongs that still have the tags on if she so chooses. Rinna isn’t in attendance at this fete — she had a stomach bug and not even a call from the Fat Jewish himself could sway her. (Real talk: Is this a step up from Boy George? A step down from Carson Kressley? I want to hear from you on the bevy of cameos we’ve been #blessed with.) But everyone else is there. Dorit — who does the classy version of a nosedive out of her car — is trying out some clip-on bangs, which will become crucial to the drama as our story unfolds. And even Camille comes — why are you trying to make fetch happen? It’s never going to happen!
The Fat Jewish attempts to one-up Lisa Rinna’s nightmare-inducing yacht-table dance by rubbing his bulbous chest in Kyle’s face and giving her a lap dance as the evening’s entertainment. (Still, Rinna’s dance was worse.)