Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap: Objection, Your Honor
I think I am Erika Jayne. Stick with me for a moment. I mean, I don’t have a super-sexy alter ego. I can’t sing. I look terrible in leotards. I don’t have an older husband named Tom. But we have other important similarities. We’re both surrounded by gays. I don’t cook. I like fancy things. And we both swear a lot. See? SPIRITUAL TWINS.
Even if we’re not twins, she’s my current favorite on RHOBH. Now, based on the trailers, I thought this was finally going to be the dramatic episode that took this season up a notch. Sadly, Bravo’s talented marketing department led me astray. It was another snoozer.
So we started off with the much-hyped “dramatic” dinner party at Erika’s house. She wanted the girls to meet her husband, Tom. But Yolanda was ill, Kyle had plans, and Eileen was shooting something involving a flaming building (LOL) so it was just six people for dinner. Kathryn came in hot and immediately just started badgering Rinna about her appetite (or lack thereof). Then, at the dinner table, she kept making comments about how she’s tried to befriend Erika and they’re not best friends yet.
Kathryn is like the friend equivalent of a stage-five clinger — she’s a little too committed. She tells Erika that she tries to speak in her language, which according to Kathryn is “false lashes.” Erika just laughs it off because she is a goddess. Even Tom seems weirded out by how aggressive the conversation is. “Do you guys do this all the time?” he asks, bewildered. You know it’s an awkward dinner when Lisa Rinna starts hiding behind her napkin. Oh, and then the whole Vanderpump web-thing came up again, which is just sooooo boring. The whole affair just ends rather abruptly because Vanderpump has to go to a charity event. NO ONE WAS THROWN OUT LIKE THE TEASER SUGGESTED. Why must nothing go my way?!?!?
Erika goes over to Kyle’s house the next day to play something called “pickleball,” which just looks like paddle ball. I’m unclear as to why they weren’t just playing tennis, but whatever. They talk a little about how terrible the dinner went and how inappropriately Erika thought Kathryn acted. I do not disagree. Then, Kyle conveniently brings up that Mauricio has suggested she open one of her stores in Abu Dhabi. Hmmmm. I believe I saw footage of the women vacationing in…Abu Dhabi. Also, does Kyle by Alene Too really need to be international? And why isn’t Alene Too involved in any of these discussions?!
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Kathryn tries to talk to Donnie about the terrible dinner, but even he admits she can be a little aggressive. I think other things were discussed, but Donnie took off his shirt, and I forget everything else.
Kyle meets with Yolanda at their apartment. They have some lattes provided by her “healthcare advocate,” who apparently is a barista. The pair sort of come to a truce over the email that Yolanda sent. Just end this whole discussion please… Oh, but wait…
Eileen and Rinna head to the beach for a chat. Eileen is real psyched because she’s being doing a lot of “stunts” at work. I just LOL’d again thinking of soap opera production values. But basically Rinna wants to go back over the whole Kathryn thing and bring back up Yolanda. No one can move on in this group. She finds a photo of Yolanda lunching with Kim Richards and Brandi on the same day that Yolanda canceled on Erika’s dinner. She thinks she’s using the sickness stuff to her benefit. And then Rinna says she never would have brought up the whole Munchausen thing if it weren’t for a phone call she had with Vanderpump encouraging her to discuss it. OY. This will never end.
The next day, the women head to Habitat for Humanity, naturally. While building the home for low-income families, the ladies bicker back and forth over Erika’s dinner party from hell. Kathryn seems completely confused as to why Erika would find anything she said at the dinner offensive. Everyone mark the moment: This is the episode when Kathryn became completely unlikable. She had promise, but not so much anymore. She just seems to clearly be manufacturing drama because her day-to-day involves renovating a San Diego mansion and going to the ear doctor.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Bravo’s guilty-pleasure franchise meets California luxe