Danny and Mindy make big decisions about their future together, and (kind of) decide where they’ll raise their unborn child.

By C. Molly Smith
Updated February 18, 2015 at 03:00 AM EST
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Credit: John P. Fleenor/Fox
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Breaking the baby news to Danny was just the beginning: Now, he and Mindy have to plan out their future. They’re a family now, as Danny pointed out at the conclusion of last week’s episode, but where will the family live? Mindy’s decision on whether or not to open a clinic with Gurgler in San Francisco will play a huge factor, for sure. It’s time to make some major life decisions.

“I can’t believe we’re having a baby,” Danny says, picking up right where last week left off. He takes a moment to soak it all in, but the moment soon fades when his Catholic guilt kicks in. “Okay, get up. Get your stuff. We’re going down to City Hall.” He says they’ll have a “quickie shame wedding,” meaning they’ll say the baby was conceived today, and 7 months later, they’ll have an 11-pound premature baby. Then, they’ll be good with God because that story is totally believable.

You’ll recall that Mindy worships romantic comedies. In fact, she might be the genre’s no. 1 fan. With that in mind, she is not about to be proposed to that way. She wants the proposal to be out of love, not shame. Danny concedes, for now, but I wonder if there’ll be a proposal in the near future. Mindy and Danny are a non-traditional couple, but marriage is certainly a possibility and it’s obviously on both of their minds. My bet is that this will be addressed by season’s end.

The pair may not be getting married, yet, but families stick together. At first, Danny tries to convince Mindy to come back to New York because that’s where their family is. But, Mindy tells him that, despite the pregnancy, she still wants to move to San Francisco, permanently, to start a fertility clinic with Gurgler. Also, her brother, Rishi, lives there (That’s right. Rishi’s back). Danny ultimately agrees to move with her because the three of them are what’s important to him. That said, Danny doesn’t want to tell anyone about Baby Castellano—or Little Mindy, however you want to refer to the baby—until the second trimester. Like that’s going to happen.

Danny is tasked with breaking the news that he’s moving to Jeremy, but things don’t go as planned. Cliff joins them in the elevator and starts talking about how he’s moving to a new office, after getting big business from gay marriage divorces. This sets Jeremy off, who starts complaining that everyone—Cliff, Mindy, Lauren, and Peter—is moving onto greener pastures, causing Danny to lose his will. Rather than tell Jeremy the truth, he gives him his watch as a diversion.

Meanwhile, Mindy moves forward with her plans to open the clinic. She and Gurgler visit a bank to take out a small business loan, but they’re denied because of Mindy’s credit, which went sour because she was the guarantor for an apartment that defaulted, the apartment that she co-signed with her little brother, Rishi. Mindy talks Gurgler into taking the loan out himself, explaining that she just convinced Danny to move out west. Their business is on the right track, sure, but Rishi isn’t getting off so easy.

Back in New York, Danny meets with Mel, the money guy, to amend his will to include Mindy. Morgan overhears the meeting and is convinced that Dr. C is dying. Why else would he change his will? Little does Morgan realize, he has the pieces to figure out what’s really going on. Earlier in the episode, Danny starts acting very paternal and asks to borrow Morgan’s magazine with a papa penguin protecting his baby penguin from the Arctic cold. Since when does Danny asked to borrow a magazine like that? Morgan organizes a meeting to tell Jeremy, Tamra, and Beverly, and they don’t believe it, at first. But, later, when Danny asks Jeremy to come over because he has to tell him something important, the group thinks Morgan could be right.

On her way to Rishi’s, Mindy calls Cliff to see if there’s anyone she can sue to make her credit score better, but he hangs up on her because he’s moving into his new office. So that failed, but she can teach her brother a lesson about not paying his rent. She meets him at his door, which is covered with eviction notices, and he rushes her inside, explaining that he’s hiding out from his landlord. “California’s got mad squatters rights, son,” he exclaims, and soon starts rapping about his cash flow problems. “Okay, that rap was mad tight, but I am mad, mad at you,” Mindy responds, and tells him he needs to grow up. She can’t take care of him anymore because there’s someone else in her life that she needs to take care of: the baby. So Mindy blabbed, but she told her brother. That’s not so bad, right?

Rishi is excited, of course, but he has to keep the news on the DL because her parents don’t know. “Have I told mom and dad that I am unmarried and pregnant with a white man’s baby? No,” Mindy says, when he asks. “There is a world in which I never tell them.” Eventually, though, she has to, and I look forward to meeting Mr. and Mrs. Lahiri, as many of you do, surely. What’s more, Mindy tells Rishi he needs to get a job, and she comes up with the perfect solution. Rishi, who studied biology at Stanford, should be a med tech at her clinic! That is, as long as Gurgler approves.

Mindy and Rishi meet Gurgler at a local restaurant, and the informal interview goes pretty well, initially. Rishi explains that he’s been going through a rough time emotionally, which Gurgler sympathizes with (Poor, Gurgler). But, the meeting takes a turn for the worse when Rishi steps outside from the interview to deal drugs. Mindy is furious and threatens to tell their parents, but he says he’ll tell them about the pregnancy. Okay, so she won’t call, but she’ll give him a lesson herself.

Here comes Mindy’s family values (see episode title): “Mindy Junior, listen up. This rant, it applies to you. Marijuana is the worst. It makes you fat and lazy. Is that what you think America’s problem is? There’s not enough fat and lazy people.[ At least cocaine has an industrious spirit. Oh, I want to sell stocks on Wall Street faster! Oh, I need to dance more!” She tells Rishi he needs to quit. (Also, industrious spirit, lol. Has anyone ever described cocaine that way?)

Danny finally has a chance to break the news to Jeremy. He tells him that he’s not going to be at the practice anymore because he’s not going to be here—and Jeremy cuts him off. Believing Morgan’s theory to be correct, he tells Danny that there’s no need to go into more detail. Of course, Morgan is so, so wrong.

Meanwhile, Mindy has a confrontation of her own. When Rishi says his boss, Big Murder, wouldn’t let him quit, Mindy goes to call their business relationship off herself. “Hey, you can’t kill me,” Mindy announces. “I tweeted I was coming here!” That said, she’s surprised to find Harold from Harold & Kumar (a.k.a. John Cho) standing in a nice office, and assumes he’s Big Murder’s math tutor. “I became a drug dealer to break stereotypes like that,” Big Murder says. He also goes by Greg. “The call me Big Murder because I killed it in business school.” (This is one of my favorite lines from the series. Consider this my official demand for more John Cho.)

After talking it over, it turns out Big Murder isn’t so bad after all. He didn’t force Rishi to stay. Instead, he offered Rishi a raise, and Rishi chose to stay because A) He didn’t know where to turn for a job, and B) He likes the validation from Big Murder, who believes in him. Mindy says she has his back, and concludes he can come and work for her. Big Murder, a savvy business man, counter offers: He ups the raise and says Rishi can party on his boat, aptly named the HMS THC (You’re killing it, Big Murder.) Mindy shuts it down immediately, saying Rishi will come and work for her, or she’ll kill him, Greg, and burn Greg’s building to the ground. Rishi leaves and Greg tells Mindy he could offer her seven figures for doling out phony medical marijuana prescriptions. She immediately says yes, then immediately says no. Even she can’t really resist his charm.

In NYC, the mix up at Schulman & Associates finally comes to light. The office throws Danny a tribute, complete with an original song from Morgan and Tamra, and a visit from the Staten Island Boy’s Choir, and the truth comes out. Morgan contests that Danny told him he was dying. “You told me, to my face, I’m dying,” Morgan says. “Take care of Mindy, and by take care of, I mean sexually.” Though an obvious lie, the office is still pissed, that is until Danny—who wanted to keep the baby a secret—spills the beans. Everyone is thrilled, especially Morgan who thinks “Morgan Grandmother Castellano” has a nice ring to it.

With Rishi out of the drug trade, Mindy tells Gurgler that he’s ready for hire, but Gurgler isn’t having it. “Are you insane? No! This is not some two-bit family business where you can store your unemployable relatives. This is not Wahlburgers.” Mindy says she wants to work at a place that gives second chances, like her old place, and Wahlburgers. She has a realization: Maybe Mark and Donnie Wahlberg have the right idea. When you’re starting a business, the following things should matter:

1.Family

2.Second chances

3.Juicy, delicious hamburgers

Duh. With that, Mindy says she’ll pay Gurgler back for the loan, but she’s done and is leaving Stanford early. Mindy starts to regret her decision, believing that Gurgler was her best shot at starting her own clinic. “What makes you think that that white man is the only reason you could have your own practice,” Rishi asks. “In terms of entitlement and personality, you’re the whitest man I know.” Wise words, Rishi, but where would she open a practice? Suddenly, Mindy calls Cliff, asking if his old office space is available because she wants it. Looks like Mindy is moving back to NYC, for good.

Best lines:

“I don’t want you to propose out of shame. It should be out of love. Or, at minimum, out of ratings for our reality show.” —Mindy when Danny suggests they go to city hall to tie the knot, upon discovering she’s pregnant

“I want to go over the state capitals with him one more time.” —Danny, talking to Mindy’s stomach

“No, do not make him a nerd!” —Mindy

“Fine, my credit’s bad. Do you accept street cred?” —Mindy when her loan is denied due to bad credit

“That woman is terrible with money. She opened up another credit card last week for a free cupcake.” —Mel, the money guy, questioning why Danny would want to add Mindy to his will

“I’m actually surprised to hear from you. I’m fairly certain I blocked your number.” —Cliff when Mindy calls for legal advice

“It makes total sense. You’re totally showing!” —Rishi on Mindy’s pregnancy

“No, not yet. It’s months too early. Don’t go down this path.” —Mindy

“Danny is not dying. He’s the healthiest person I know. His favorite junk food is raisins.” —Jeremy, shooting down Morgan’s theory that Danny is dying

“I am barely a drug dealer. I just sell weed, and like, everything else.” —Rishi

“Aren’t you ashamed? Disappointing the singing children like that. You make me sick.” —Jeremy on Danny letting down the Staten Island Catholic Boys Choir

By the numbers:

Mindy’s outfits: 6

Eviction notices posted on Rishi’s door: 15

Mad raps by Rishi: 1 (Please, please let there be more)

Figures Mindy could make if she wrote phony medical marijuana prescriptions for Big Murder: 7

Episode Recaps

The Mindy Project

Mindy Kaling’s rom-com follows the hilarious lives of an OBGYN and her medical practice coworkers.
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