Mindy has to break the baby news to Danny, but a Castellano family reunion throws a wrench in her plans.
Last week’s episode ended with a huge shocker: Mindy and Danny are going to be parents. The news came out of left field, and viewers, presumably and understandably, want answers. They can rest easy because this week’s episode, which largely focuses on Mindy’s attempt to break the news to her beau, addresses some important questions, most notably: How does Danny feel about it?
The episode opens with a close-up shot of a pregnancy test. It’s positive. Mindy is in total disbelief, so she takes 29 more tests. Still positive, except for one. (It turns out that test is a popsicle stick that Mindy wrote a negative sign on.) She knows she has to tell Danny, so she phones him, accidentally calling him “Daddy” instead of “Danny.” A baby is crying in the background of the restaurant where Danny takes the call. “Remind me not to have kids until I’m old and deaf,” Danny says. “Larry King’s got the right idea.” Well, this is certainly making things harder.
That said, it never quite feels like the right time to break the news. So, Mindy decides she’ll fly to New York, they’ll have a romantic weekend together, and she can tell him then. Alas, her plans are rudely interrupted when Danny’s dad and sister, Alan and Little Danny, come to town.
Little Danny, who is dark and moody, had been suspended from school for a week after slapping her teacher. Danny says they can’t go away together because his family needs him, but that she shouldn’t worry. They’re fine even though she’s moving to San Francisco. (Speaking of, what’s going on with that post-baby Castellano bombshell?) Mindy has no choice but to be on board—but she knows it’s probably for the best. “I don’t want to start another forest fire,” she says. At some point, though, Danny has to find out.
Later, Mindy gets a call from Annette, who is concerned about Mindy and Danny’s romantic getaway because the place where they were supposed to be staying only has one bed per room. Mindy tells her that they didn’t go away because of unexpected visitors. Under no pressure from Annette, Mindy tells her that her ex, Alan, and his daughter, Little Danny are the ones who are in town. Annette says it’s water under the bridge. She isn’t pissed about Alan walking out on her years ago and even invites them all over for dinner.
I, for one, don’t buy this for a second. Mindy is less suspicious, but still needs some convincing. She asks if this is one of Annette’s age-old guilt dinners, but Annette says, “Guilt dinners are only for you.” Upon hearing about the dinner invite, Danny is pissed. “Why don’t you invite a lion? There’ll be less carnage.” Even so, the dinner is on, but Danny doesn’t want Mindy to come, believing that his mom and dad’s reunion will end horribly, and only family should be there to see it. Mindy is upset that he doesn’t think of her as family. (Remember, she’s pregnant with his baby. That’s got to hurt.)
Naturally, Mindy’s next move is to vent to Peter (thankfully, Adam Pally isn’t off the show altogether). He tells her she should go to the dinner anyway. “Family doesn’t wait to be invited,” he says. “It’s like HPV. It just shows up and never leaves.” She takes his advice.
Mindy, Danny, Alan, and Little Danny arrive at Annette’s place. She meets them at the door and is passive aggressive and… blonde? Yes, blonde. Then, she takes them inside and introduces Alan to her doctor boyfriend. The goal: To show Alan that she “won” in life. Even so, the night isn’t going as poorly as Danny expected—yet.
Later, while Mindy is off killing eels for a traditional dish that Annette wants to serve, Alan tells Danny that he did a great job raising himself and his brother, Richie. He says Little Danny deserves better and asks Danny to take her in for a while. Danny agrees, and Mindy overhears the end of their conversation. All hell breaks lose:
“How could you let your little sister move in with you without discussing it with me first,” Mindy asks, in anger. “We spent three weeks debating whether or not we were going to have a scented candle in your bathroom, which to your credit saved our relationship.” (Someone should make a short out of this interaction.)
Danny responds by saying she didn’t discuss moving to San Francisco with him. She just did it. Aaaand, there it is: Danny is angry. For Mindy, what it comes down to is she doesn’t want Little Danny moving in with him because A) They have a child of their own on the way, and B) She thinks Little Danny is playing him, and that all girls that age have “problems.” But, Mindy only tells him the latter.
At dinner, Mindy confronts Little Danny, and calls her a faker. Mindy says she knows Little Danny is lying because she herself invented the “age-old tactic of acting like a psycho to get what she wants.” Little Danny’s real motivations for wanting to move to New York come out when Mindy threatens to drop her phone in a glass of water.
1. Little Danny hates living in the desert.
2. Little Danny hates that her dad is 2,000 years old and yells at the newspaper.
3. Little Danny hates that her TV only gets 50 channels.
Mindy concludes that Little Danny is just a normal teenager acting out to get what she wants, but the brawl isn’t over yet. Little Danny slaps Mindy, and Mindy slaps her back. Yikes! Danny breaks it up and ultimately says he thinks it would be good for Mindy to leave.
After Mindy takes off, Alan tells Danny that despite Little Danny’s confessions, he thinks they should still uphold their agreement. When Annette finds out about it, she runs after Mindy and is on her side, explaining that when a kid acts like a brat you have to take them down. She asks her to come back in, but Mindy is upset with Danny for not having her back. What’s more, she’s burning up, in 20 degree weather.
Lightbulb! The burning up comment leads Annette to put it all together. Mindy is pregnant! Annette is ecstatic at the prospect of becoming a grandmother. Still, Mindy leaves. When Annette comes back inside, she lets Alan have it. He abandoned Danny and Richie, and now he wants Danny to raise Little Danny for him. I don’t think so! Then, she lays into Danny for kicking his girlfriend, and unborn child, to the curb.
Finally, Danny knows. He immediately leaves to go after Mindy, and ultimately finds her at their hospital, sleeping on the couch next to the vending machine with the apple pastry snacks that she loves and can only get there. Mindy says she’s sorry she didn’t tell him about the baby, but that she can raise the baby on her own. He’s not going to let that happen. (Not going to lie, I got a little emotional, here.) “We’re a family,” he says.
“When I was suspended for stalking my teacher, I was locked in my room for five days. Sure, I escaped. Nothing was going to keep me from Mr. Sherman.” —Mindy, offering her own suspension story to Little Danny
“Who are these people? Your old scout leader and a little girl robot you built?” —Morgan, guessing who Alan and Little Danny are
“Can I run upstairs and make a mixtape? Your music sucks. No NPR please.” —Mindy, on Danny’s music tastes
“In my family, after Thanksgiving I make everyone gather around while I do a fashion show.” —Mindy, on her family traditions
“Danny, why do you want to leave SoCal? Have you seen the mayor of Los Angeles? He’s hot as hell.” —Mindy, asking Little Danny why she wants to move in with Danny
“If I’m so horrible, maybe I should just go, armed with nothing but my pepper spray and my gun.” —Mindy, after fighting with Danny at Annette’s house
“Castellano men, shoot first, ask questions never.” —Annette, on Danny not realizing Mindy is pregnant.
“I can raise this baby by myself. My little brother and I had a parakeet when we were little. It died after three months, but they were three good months.” —Mindy, talking to Danny
By the numbers:
Mindy’s outfits: 7
Mindy’s positive pregnancy tests: 29
Mindy’s negative pregnancy tests: 1, but that was a popsicle stick that she wrote a negative sign on
Ways Morgan made meeting Danny’s family awkward: 100, roughly
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