Ding-dong, Pat is dead (maybe)

By Ariana Bacle
Updated October 03, 2016 at 03:12 AM EDT
Credit: Kevin Estrada/FOX
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Good news: Cher (okay, a replica of Cher) makes a cameo in this episode. Bad news: She’s dead. Also dead? Pat — or at least that’s what Tandy thinks.

After Todd ran over Pat in last week’s episode, the gang sought refuge in a new mansion for fear that if Pat was indeed alive, he’d come after them. This mansion turns out to belong to the “Believe” singer, whose virus-stricken body is hanging out in the bedroom. “She still looks radiant,” an awestruck Carol observes. But she can’t swoon over the dead superstar for too long, because they all need to figure out what to do about this whole Pat mess. Pat, always ruining everything!

And what a mess it is: Tandy finds what appears to be Dead Pat and tells the group about this discovery. Everyone’s honestly pretty relieved, except for poor Todd, who feels awful. Like, can’t-stop-sobbing awful. Which is understandable! Most people (a.k.a. basically anyone but Melissa) would probably ugly-cry their little hearts out after accidentally killing someone. Tandy can’t stand seeing Todd so torn up, though, so he does a very Tandy thing and tells Todd that Pat’s actually still alive. At least he has good intentions?

Todd wants to go apologize to Pat for running him over, so Tandy insists on going over there first to warm him up a little. What this really means is he’s going over to the house to scrawl messages like “I’M SO ANGRY” and “SEE YOU IN HELL” on the walls in red paint to make it look like Pat is as deranged — and, most importantly, alive! — as ever. Again, Todd buys it, and he’s not too thrilled about the idea of a murderous Pat on the loose.

The two go back to the group and Tandy demands they all stay at Cher’s for a few more days. Weirdly, most of them want to just go back to the house, and that’s when Todd breaks: He tells them Pat’s still kicking and that he’s mad. Really mad.

This sends the entire house into complete chaos. Carol’s looking for award statuettes to use as weapons while the increasingly bloodthirsty Melissa is trying to figure out how to kill him if she doesn’t have a gun. Meanwhile, Tandy’s freaking out a bit that his lie has blown up like this. He confesses to Carol that Pat is dead, and together, they hatch a plan to remedy the situation. Spoiler: It’s a terrible one.

So that’s embarrassing, but it does lead to something good: Tandy admits Pat is dead, and reveals the only reason he lied was so Todd wouldn’t feel bad. “I didn’t want you to have to live with that,” he says. “It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” Todd responds. It’s a genuinely sweet moment that concludes with everyone (except for Lewis, who’s turning out to be Tandy’s personal Toby Flenderson) embracing in a group hug. Aww. Who knew Pat, the conspiracy theorist, was going to be the one to bring everyone together like this?

The warm-and-fuzzies don’t last long. Everyone heads back to the house, where Tandy walks them through his fake crime scene — which, for the record, includes poop he stuck in the oven, because a crap-filled oven is definitely what you think of when you think “crime scene” — and it’s there they realize the boat that Pat, Lewis, and their fallen friend arrived on is gone. Meaning someone took the boat. Meaning Pat…is probably alive after all. Meaning? They’re all screwed.

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