Diane and Alicia take on a flip-flopping opposing counsel, and Eli does all he can to stop a story that would hurt Peter's campaign

By Breia Brissey
Updated March 02, 2015 at 11:07 PM EST
CBS

It seems like The Good Wife showrunners have finally heard your complaints. “Don’t Haze Me, Bro” delivered a completely Nick-free hour of TV! And for those of us who are a little fed up with the Nick/Kalinda storyline, it was a much-needed break. (Full disclosure: I loved Kalinda and Nick in the season premiere, but quickly became confused with the pairing.) I know we haven’t seen the end of the unhappy couple, but I’ll gladly take the one-episode hiatus to focus on more important things like Diane kicking ass in the courtroom.

This week’s case involved a hazing gone wrong. Trey Lawson, a water polo player at a local college, was drowned by a teammate at a pre-game tradition called “The Dunk.” The teammate responsible for Lawson’s death, Wayne Crockett, had already been charged and was serving jail time. But Diane and Alicia were suing the university on the family’s behalf, trying to prove that the school turned a blind eye to this hazing ritual. As a such, the school could be held liable for damages. They were seeking $6 million. (You gotta go for big money when you’re staring down bankruptcy, and you’ve just lost the prized 27th floor. May it rest in peace.)

The opposing counsel, Jared Andrews (John Glover), claimed that “The Dunk” was never sanctioned by the university, and therefore they could not be held responsible. This was one of many arguments Andrews tried to use to keep the university out of hot water. His wishy-washy tactics kept Diane and Alicia on their toes. They had to change their approach multiple times throughout the trial just to keep up with his whatever-argument-fits-the-current-moment mentality.

Andrews then upped the ante by claiming that Lawson’s drowning was a hate crime, asserting that Crockett did it because Lawson was gay. Diane and Alicia brought in Lawson’s girlfriend and one of Crockett’s longtime friends who happened to be gay. They assumed would put the hate crime issue to rest. But then Andrews claimed that even if Lawson wasn’t actually gay, his effeminate nature could have made Crockett think he was, basically asserting that a “swishy” mannerism was enough to warrant a hate crime.

NEXT: Eli receives a threatening phone call

When that didn’t hold up, Andrews continued with the hate crime angle, this time insisting it was a “black on black” crime because Lawson and Crockett were in rival black fraternities. Diane and Alicia were finally able to use Andrew’s methods against him when they proved that the university knew Lawson and Crockett were a part of rival organizations. “You can’t prove he drowned him because he was black!” Andrews yelled in court. And the judge calmly said, “Andrews, you already did.” It was a glorious $6 million win for Lockhart/Gardner, and enough to inspire Diane with a plan: “We’re going to get our firm back. Then we’re going to go after Louis Canning’s firm. And then we’re going to open up a branch in New York and D.C.” Way to go, Diane!

In other news, last week it appeared as though Eli had put the kibosh on the magazine story threatening to expose Peter’s affair with campaign worker, Indira Starr. But Mandy Post was still looking to publish the piece she’d spent two months working on. Alicia was questioned by Post & Co., and she reiterated that she never spoke with Starr about the supposed relationship with Peter. And again, she insisted that they kill the story since it was a lie. As per usual, Alicia was completely graceful during the interview prompting one of my favorite exchanges of the episode: Eli saying, ” I could kiss you.” To which Alicia replied, “Well, that will give them something to write about.” That it would!

Since Kalinda didn’t have Nick to worry about, she got to spend the episode trying to corroborate Starr’s story. But Starr made Kalinda’s job pretty easy when she found out you needed a concierge key to get to the 15th floor of the hotel, where the alleged affair took place. Starr claimed she went up without the key, giving her story more holes than the colander in my kitchen. Kalinda told Post that she was obviously trying to cover the gaps in her story. And that, it seemed, was the final nail in the coffin.

But that would be too easy, right? At the very end of the episode, Eli received a blocked call from a Jimmy, a blogger who had received an anonymous tip about a national magazine sitting on a piece accusing Peter of sleeping with a campaign worker. He wanted a quote for his post on PoorAnarchy.com. When Eli said he’d never heard of the site, Jimmy ominously said, “You will in about one hour.” Eli’s face said it all. This can’t be good.

NEXT: Jackie makes her triumphant return

Maddie Hayward returned expressing concerns about the rumors of Peter’s infidelity. As you’ll recall, her hefty donation was contingent on the fact that Peter keep it in his pants. Eli tried to settle her concerns, but asked Alicia to step in to do damage control. They two new friends went out for a drink, and after having a few too many Alicia brought up the affair to quell Maddie’s suspicions. But Maddie saw that it was Eli who put Alicia up to the task, even though Alicia said she wanted to tell Maddie anyway. It was all kinds of awkward.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Jackie Florrick made her first appearance of the season and was discharged from the hospital. Last season she had a stroke, but learned she suffered no permanent damage. Unsurprisingly, she was looking forward to aiding Peter in his campaign, specifically by speaking at different events. Of course, once Jackie caught wind that Peter was being accused of wrongdoing she didn’t sit idly by. She publicly said that Peter had always struggled with women chasing him, nearly giving Eli Gold an aneurism. (Anyone else kind of wish that Jim had to tackle Jackie per Eli’s request?) As a result of her unrestrained comments, Eli cut her schedule and gave her the less-than-stellar speaking engagements.

One of those included a trip to the regional senior center. And if it’s possible, that low-key event went even worse than the first one because of some serious hallucinations, likely a side effect of her stroke. Jackie started seeing bugs on the podium, and it totally derailed her speech. Eli was ready to kick her off the campaign trail for good, but Peter wanted her to be involved regardless of her stroke. Jackie didn’t tell anyone about the hallucinations, but it doesn’t bode well for her future health report.

Back at the firm, trustee Clarke Hayden was busy trying to save Will and Diane from themselves—his words, not mine. With the loss of the 27th floor, and Hayden was trying to accommodate everyone to keep up morale. He tried to encourage Will and Diane to split their offices, but they gave an emphatic no to that. Hayden then went to Cary and praised his success at the firm, and told him to start coming to him with anything, including management problems. The exchange was odd, but then Hayden’s true intentions came to light when he gave Cary his very own office. And by very own, I mean he was given a desk in Alicia’s office. The two are going to have to share from now on. Anyone else feel like it’s season 1?

Now it’s your turn. Did you enjoy the Kalinda/Nick break? Who do you think tipped off the blogger to the affair? Mandy? Someone else? Are you concerned about Jackie’s health? And have you settled the verdict on whether Clarke Hayden has good or bad intentions? Sound off in the comments.

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