Colin Sweeney returns and is accused of sexual misconduct by guest star Morena Baccarin
Julianna Margulies
Credit: John P. Filo/CBS
Closing Arguments
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Oh, Colin Sweeney. Always creepy, but also always interesting. The show’s infamous wife-killer returned, this time appearing to have not committed any major crimes. Sweeney was trying to regain control of his company, Harold Equity Group, and Lockhart (Temporarily Suspended) Gardner was assisting with the proxy vote. It seemed as though the vote would swing in Sweeney’s favor, but where’s the fun in that? During his investor’s speech, Isobel Swift (played by Homeland‘s Morena Baccarin) accused him of sexual harassment. Isobel then announced her intent to sue Sweeney and Harold Equity. Oh, and she had a son she claimed Sweeney had fathered. Alicia & Co. had their work cut out for them.

Unsurprisingly, Sweeney lost the proxy vote. He had 72 hours until he had to liquidate his shares, so they headed to court for an emergency injunction. Alicia would have to prove two things to win. 1) That Isobel’s accusations were a lie; that Sweeney never sexually harassed her. And 2) that the accusation’s only intent was to throw the proxy vote to Sweeney’s competitor, Mr. Drescher. If Drescher was, in fact, behind the accusations, there would be a re-vote and Drescher wouldn’t even be able to participate.

But Sweeney, being the practiced liar he is, wouldn’t make things easy for them. He perjured himself twice on the stand saying that he and Isobel never had sex, oral or otherwise. This put the firm in an awkward situation since they knew for a fact, per Kalinda’s investigation, that he and Isobel had indeed participated in at least some questionable acts. Back at the firm, Sweeney still stood by the fact that there was no way he could have fathered a child with her. And then the paternity test results arrived. Break out the cigars, Sweeney’s a daddy!

NEXT: Sweeney catches a break, and Caitlin makes an important announcement…

Even after undeniable proof that Sweeney was the father, he still wouldn’t own up to any such thing. But as Diane pointed out, “unfortunately, the court does not recognize the doctrine of immaculate conception.” So onto plan B. Kalinda was able to tie Isobel and Drescher together after learning that he had made several payments to her from a shell company in the Caymans. And while it was a weak one at that, Lockhart and Gardner had to go with the strongest defense they had: contraceptive fraud. And yes, apparently that’s a real thing. There was a whole discussion about sperm and whether or not it’s considered property and/or a gift. Like Judge Friend (Bebe Neuwirth), I was equal parts disgusted and intrigued that contraceptive fraud was a legitimate theory for this case.

But just as surprising as the fact I have now typed “contraceptive fraud” three times today was the fact that Sweeney and Isobel managed to reach a sensible agreement outside of the courtroom. They both agreed that she was impregnated by, um, unconventional methods. They further acknowledged Mr. Drescher’s involvement in the situation. And they’re now raising the child together. Like I said: Colin Sweeney. Always creepy, but always interesting.

Caitlin, still seemingly in cahoots with David Lee, dropped her own shocker when she announced her intention to leave the firm. It seemed like the news was coming on the heels of a run in she had with Alicia. But that was just coincidental. Caitlin just got pregnant, engaged, and the urge to leave her life of law behind. As her mentor, Alicia tried to convince her to stay around. But it looks like Caitlin’s leaving for good. Now I pose an interesting question: Are wedding invitations all Caitlin was really hiding? The cynic in me assumes there has to be something more sinister in her plans with David Lee. But I suppose only time will tell.

NEXT: Peter puts the kibosh on work relationships, and Alicia hunts for a home…

Over in the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office, Peter had to crack down on sexual liaisons at work. Considering his own affairs, overlooking that kind of thing was not an option. Peter tasked Cary with determining the guilty parties involved in having sex on his work couch. Now there’s a fun day at work. (Also, I hope someone at least cleaned the couch.)

Cary discovered it was Jeremy who did the deed, and Peter promptly fired him to make his stance on co-worker fraternization clear. Geneva Pine was busy making sure Cary felt guilty for his own fraternization with Dana Lodge. And before it was all said and done, Geneva made it a race issue. Now I know Cary broke the rules too, but he’s totally adorable, and I like him. So I was kind of hoping Peter wouldn’t punish him when Cary came forward with his transgressions. But I also understand that Peter has to or it reflects poorly on everyone. Cary even offered to resign or take a temporary leave of absence. No appropriate consequence was settled on, but it’s clear that Peter doesn’t want Cary to leave. It’s just a matter of what he feels he has to do.

Meanwhile, Alicia was dealing with some out-of-court problems. With her lease about to expire, she learned she had 90 days to either buy her apartment or essentially be evicted. That’s what you want to hear after a long day of dealing with Colin Sweeney, right? She considered her options, most of which were really expensive. ($35,000 a month for a parking space?! I think my heart just stopped.) She learned that her old house — the one she lived in with Peter before all of their season 1 drama — was back on the market. At first, she thought it was too weird to return to the home where her life started to crumble. But based on her tears at the end of the episode, I’d say she’s seriously considering a move back to the home. It is where her children grew up, after all.

What did you think of “Long Way Home”? My only real complaint is that there was not enough Eli Gold. When in doubt, always add more Eli. Did you like the return of Dylan Baker as Colin Sweeney? Do you think that’s we’ve seen the last of him? And what about Caitlin? Is her pending exit really that simple? Sound off in the comments below.

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Closing Arguments
The Good Wife

Julianna Margulies, Josh Charles, and Chris Noth star in the legal/family drama.

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