The Challenge: Bloodlines recap: Out for Blood
Sigh. Last week I complained about how the level of play on The Challenge has decreased significantly, and this week, the teams had the chance to prove me wrong in a mini final-esque challenge. But alas, they all were kind of meh — whoever was the least kind of meh won. And now, basically all the classic reality show “drama” has been drained from the show. No one left has a deep personal relationship with anyone besides their bloodline. Where are the hookups?! Where are the drunken fights?! They left with KellyAnne and Thomas and may return next week (based on the previews), but for now, we’re left with one massive relay race. Let’s get into it.
The teams split back up into their bloodlines and have to race to the top of a mountain while carrying giant bags of weights (women lug 40 pounds, and men are stuck with 75 pounds) and stopping at various checkpoints. The tasks are reminiscent of the early Challenge finals, and the cast reacts as such: Cory throws up, Vince starts speaking gibberish, and the winner is determined by a puzzle.
As the challenge begins, Aneesa and Rianna bust their butts to start in first place, running through the first few checkpoints — pulling a chain into a circle and swinging onto a balance beam — while Cory and Mitch chug along in last place thanks for Cory’s busted ACL.
Everyone else muddles in the middle until the teams meet at final part of the challenge: the puzzle. Jenna and Brianna get there first, and latecomers Cory and Mitch sidle on up after what seems like three hours, only to finish the puzzle first and win the challenge. Wut.
Cara Maria and Jamie finish last and are thrown into the pit. Cory and Mitch then make the ultimate power move and toss Vince and Bananas in alongside them.
Lo and behold, when the group gets to the pit, T.J. Lavin introduces them to the elimination challenge, which ends in — dun dun dun — a puzzle. They have to smash through a wall with a sledgehammer and solve the color-coded puzzle. Whoever wins joins the rest of the group in Berlin.
NEXT: Ugh! Now look who we’re stuck with
Cara Maria and Jamie take the cake, sending Vince and Bananas (along with the show’s heart and soul) home for good. Last week, we said there was no one left to root for, and now look who we’re stuck with. It’s a sad, sad sack of random competitors, and at this point we can only look forward to…next season. To the Bloodline Rankings.
1. Bananas and Vince
Pour one out for the conniving OG Challenger and his creepy uncle/cousin Vince. May they rest in the Bloodlines graveyard only to return again next season. Bananas gave us some of the best and worst moments of the season, but his play against Nany will go down in the books as one of the biggest acts of betrayal on the show. I won’t even go into how much I loved this behind-the-scenes scene.
2. Aneesa and Rianna
Not a bad showing from these cousins, but I’m still not convinced that they’ll be able to finish the final. Overnight? Chicken arms? Yeah, we’ll see.
3. Jenna and Brianna
Do we live in a world where JENNA and BRIANNA could win The Challenge? WHAT’S HAPPENING?! Based on the past few episodes, their victory is totally plausible. Smh, guys. Smh.
4. Cara Maria and Jamie
Cara’s kept them around longer than expected, and they’ve beaten some of the strongest competitors in the pit this season. However, Cara may have lost her sanity and her relationship in the process. Woof.
5. Cory and Mitch
HOW ARE THESE GUYS STILL AROUND? Please, someone explain to me how they’ve managed to keep themselves afloat. It. Is. Shocking.