'The Challenge: Bloodlines' recap: 'Blood is Thicker Than Mud'
If last week left us destroyed at the thought of Abram and Cara Maria’s relationship even existing at all, this week’s episode of The Challenge cued up the waterworks. CT’s back! And he brought along Diem’s little sister Faith as his “bloodline.” But despite MTV’s constant promotion and misleading hints, they won’t be sticking around. Let’s get into it.
The duo showed up to demo this week’s challenge, set in a mud pit. Challenge obsessives will remember one challenge during The Duel, right after Diem had gone into remission from her first battle with cancer. She was terrified to take her wig off and jump into the mud pint, but in an emotional scene, she took it off, competed, and won. MTV remembered the late star, who died from cancer in 2014, Thursday night by reminding the teams of Diem’s strength and courage. “Do it for D,” CT and Faith said.
The sweet moment was emotional — her veteran pals shed tears — but the whole touching moment took an icky turn when Bananas and Anthony decided to try and throw the challenge, which required the teams to crawl on a net suspended above a mud pit, then climb under the net and crawl backwards to the other side. So much for honoring Diem’s legacy by playing a fair game.
It’s a female elimination week, so all the guys on the the mixed-gender teams want to save their butts. But the blue team can’t even win when the red team tries to lose. Everyone sees through Bananas and Anthony’s weak attempts at failing, and tempers flare between KellyAnne/Anthony and Cara Maria/Jamie.
The blue team has to decide whether to send KellyAnne, Aneesa, or Jenna into the pit, and after some dumb logic (“You’ve done it twice, you can do it again!”), they throw Jenna into her third elimination round.
But, the joke’s on Anthony when everyone says he’s Bananas puppet. (Even KellyAnne thinks so based on her testimonial.) When it comes time for his team to vote on who to send in to battle Jenna, Bananas votes KellyAnne to save face with Aneesa. “I get Bananas is using me,” Anthony says in his confessional. Uh…
The cast then heads to the club, where Faith and CT meet up with them. (Shoutout to MTV production for bizarre editing that splices together heartfelt moments of KellyAnne and Bananas crying, remembering Diem’s bravery and footage of partying/CT’s fake fight with Vince.) Vince then bullies Jamie and calls him creepy. Cool moves, “creepy Uncle Vince.”
When Jenna and KellyAnne get into the pit, TJ Lavin introduces “Spun-Out,” which immediately seems the most vomit-inducing challenge ever. The women spin around super fast in elevated swinging chairs, and when they land on the ground, they have to do simple tasks like stand on a block and stack wooden discs.
Watching them run around like drunk children is truly a bright light in this dark world.
Jenna wins! KellyAnne and Anthony go home!
NEXT: Now for the Bloodline Rankings…
Onto the Bloodline Rankings, in this surprisingly dull episode.
1. Jenna and Brianna
Even though Brianna is snoozeville, shoutout for completing the challenge when so many others didn’t. After her early-season breakdown, it seems like she’s actually having…fun? But even more importantly: major ups to Jenna for winning her THIRD pit. Say what you will about her IQ, but girl can compete. (Bonus: Next week’s previews tease a Zach appearance!)
2. Bananas and Vince
Jerks. Mean, mean jerks. But as the season gets increasingly boring — where have all the stars gone! — at least Bananas is providing us with something reminiscent of an “Oh s—!” moment.
3. Cory and Mitch
Anybody else chortle when Cory was like, “I’m here because I was watching CT grow up. He is The Challenge to me.” Cute.
4. KellyAnne and Anthony
I’m psyched to see KellyAnne go; it was becoming torturous watching her pretend to thrive in this environment. But like Bananas, she was the only cast member doing something worth talking about. On the other hand, I can barely remember what Anthony looks like even minutes after his face leaves the screen, so…bye?
5. Aneesa and Rianna
It’s unclear why Rianna didn’t learn to never trust Bananas. While she thought he was helping her, he really just made her fall into the pit. Sucka.
6. Cara Maria and Jamie
Good for Jamie for standing up for himself. Sorry to say we’ll never remember him after this season’s over. I’m starting to think half these bloodlines will just disappear into the ether, never to be heard from again.
7. Abram and Michael
I want to see more Michael! Last week we got a taste of how in the world he shares blood with Abram. I want more!