Carrie goes to the school dance with George while her Dad and Dorrit head to The Nutcracker
The Carrie Diaries
Credit: The CW

Much like the Academy Awards last night, the latest hour of The Carrie Diaries was awash in party dresses, sequins and horny dudes in limousines. But the main difference was that Diaries’ more formal dress code and increased libidos was due to the winter dance.

So I was really loving Carrie’s new boyfriend George. He seemed sweet. He had Lisa Rinna-size lips. He had swoopy hair. He brought her hot chocolate. So I didn’t really understand why Carrie was so hesitant to invite him to the school dance. Clearly she still has some issues with her other big-haired crush Sebastian. I was thinking these three make a really hairy love triangle. Like that’s a high maintenance love triangle. Probably a good deal of their bathroom counter space would be pomades and hairsprays of various sorts. But I digress…

The dance brought out other romantic issues. For one, Walt came down with the “chicken pox” and couldn’t go with Maggie. Oh Walt. You’re gonna have to come up with some better gay excuses. Maybe “I pulled a groin muscle in gym class” or “I’ve recently discovered religion.” And then Mouse was all stressed out because her relationship with Seth was causing her grades to suffer…”suffer” meaning she got a B+ on a test. So she basically had to do another assignment for extra credit and get it in by 8 p.m. the same night of the dance.

So Carrie eventually decided to ask George once she found out that Sebastian and Donna were going together. Carrie’s dress looked like something styled by Oksana Baiul. I had real mixed emotions about this one. It was a lil’ too frilly for me. Frankly, I’m surprised she didn’t do a sweater dress. Young Carrie Bradshaw loves a sweater! But I did enjoy Maggie’s dress, which genuinely surprised me. Also, I loved Maggie’s dance moves. That lady can move, ’80s style!

So as soon as they get to the dance, Mouse disappears to finish her extra credit. George and Carrie dance and drink some spiked punch but they keep running into Sebastian and Donna and it’s all very dramatic. This is high school after all. Carrie finally asks George if he wants to get outta here and go somewhere else. That ends up being his limo where George gets a lil’ aggressive in terms of the heavy petting. He gets upset when Carrie says she won’t have sex with him but then appears understanding when she explains she’s a virgin. But then he got all gross frat boy and basically asked her to “just take care of me.” Um bye George!!! See ya nevs. Carrie clearly would not stand for that and stormed out.

NEXT: Maggie gets it on…but not with Walt

Mouse was late turning in her extra credit assignment and tried to slip the test under her teacher’s door but it went under the teacher’s desk. And then she and Seth tried to break in and it basically was a big disaster and they got caught. The pair then realized that their romance was coming between their educations. Oh nerds. You and your nerdy decisions.

Back inside the gymnasium, Maggie, much like Swedish pop star Robyn, was tired of dancing on her own. So she left only to find Deputy Shmitty waiting outside. Holy hell is this dude handsome. He convinced her to have a little cop car quickie. Maggie, your boyfriend is gay — I say you stick with the man in uniform. Donna also found herself outside to polish off her bottle of booze and caught Maggie exiting from the backseat. She tried to blackmail Maggie into forcing Carrie to stay away from Sebastian or she’d reveal this torrid affair. But Maggie surprised by telling Carrie everything. And it actually felt a lot like one of Sex and the City’s conversations because Carrie said she wasn’t there to judge Maggie, just to listen. Reminded me of her chats with Miranda and Samantha on SATC.

During all this, Dorrit and her dad went on a little date of their own to The Nutcracker, something she used to do with Mama Bradshaw. It all was actually really sweet and moving. Her dad admitted he didn’t know what was going on with her and she admitted that she didn’t really know how to communicate with him. Oh, with less eye-makeup she looked like regular Amber Tamblyn, not Poltergeist Amber Tamblyn. It was all very touching and got me misty-eyed.

The big development of the night though was that Larissa offered Carrie an internship at Interview. Carrie was worried about offending her father because he worked hard to get her the job at the law firm, but lady loves herself some Interview. There was a very amusing scene where Larissa told Carrie that maybe she was destined to be a writer. Um duh. In any case, at the end of the episode, Carrie accepted the internship and showed up at Interview’s offices, all set to one of my fave songs “It’s My Life” by Talk Talk.

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