I spy with my little eye a "Doctor Who" TARDIS and Chewbacca statue.

By Lincee Ray
Updated April 03, 2015 at 03:09 AM EDT
Michael Ansell/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

The Big Bang Theory celebrates its return from a three-week March Madness hiatus by highlighting not one, but two juggernauts in the nerd universe. One story line revolves around Doctor Who, while the other tackles the mysteries of Skywalker Ranch. Does it get any better than this?

Sheldon and Leonard have been invited to give a lecture at UC Berkeley. Road trip! The roommates pass the time by playing a riveting game of “I Can’t Spy.” Leonard wins with an answer that includes numbers and the word “neutrinos.” Even though this entire exchange flew way over my head, I always love when the boys fly their freaky physics flags.

Sheldon is in a particularly good mood. He even lets Leonard listen to music in the car. This road trip just got crazy! Sheldon encourages Leonard to “play that funky music, white boy” without having any knowledge of the Wild Cherry anthem we all know and love. After Sheldon hysterically dissects the song lyrics, it occurs to him that they aren’t far from Skywalker Ranch. Sheldon suggests a detour. Leonard points out that George Lucas probably built his headquarters in the middle of nowhere for a reason.

Do you know what else was built in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever heard of Yoda’s swamp, Tatooine, or Hoth? Sheldon is convinced it’s a code. Clearly George wants them to drop in. Leonard settles for a drive-by.

They arrive at a gate and Leonard speaks into an intercom. He fumbles through an excuse as to why they are there. It doesn’t help when Sheldon yells through the window that they want to play with George Lucas. Fortunately, the speaker box is broken. They have defeated the first barrier! Now they must face the guy defending the guard shack. Leonard uses honesty as his weapon. Sheldon chooses to make a break for it and ends up on the receiving end of a Taser gun. The force was not with him.

As it turns out, Skywalker Ranch has its own jail. While Leonard mopes in the corner, Sheldon befriends a fellow rule-breaker. This guy was caught in the sculpture gallery making out with Chewbacca. The news is equally cool as it is disturbing. The guard lets Sheldon and Leonard go with a warning.

Meanwhile, Bernadette enlists the others to help her sift through the “Jewish mother tchotchke crap” for an upcoming garage sale. Howard is shocked when he sees a yellow sticker on his beloved Doctor Who TARDIS. Raj suggests they play a game of Ping-Pong to decide if the TARDIS will one day find a home in Howard’s living room. Bernadette doesn’t think this plan is fair since Howard grew up playing Ping-Pong. She chooses Penny to take her place. Raj offers that he was a three-time badminton champion at his ritzy school in India and offers to play for Howard. Let the games begin!

When Raj pulls ahead of Penny’s score, Bernadette intervenes with a little psychological warfare. If Raj lets Penny win, he could take the TARDIS home. Raj begins to throw the game. Howard fires him and Raj switches to Team Bernadette. Howard pulls Amy up from the bench and she impresses everyone. The girl with the five-cent pantyhose has a mean serve! Unfortunately, she can’t return the ball to save her life. Someone is definitely going to lose an eye.

Bernadette begins planting seeds again. She gives Amy just the ammunition she needs to beat Raj. Cut to Amy sitting on her bed, looking at the TARDIS—which is now a permanent fixture in her bedroom. Sheldon, in full Doctor Who regalia, will forever spend his days asking Amy to reset the time circuits. It’s the closest she’ll ever get Sheldon to her bed, but as long as she doesn’t blink or turn her back, she should be fine.

Theoretical Laughter

“I don’t see what’s wrong with bringing a backpack with your own toilet paper and Purell. And rubber gloves, air freshener, noise-canceling headphones, danger whistle, pepper spray, a multi-language occupied sign, seat protectors, booties for my shoes, a clothespin for my nose, and a mirror on a stick so I can make sure the person in the stall next to me isn’t some kind of weirdo.” —Sheldon, explaining the contents of his road trip Public Restroom Kit

“I mostly used it as a battlefield in an ongoing war between the Transformers and the Thundercats for control over a bra I found in the woods.” —Howard, confessing that he never actually used the Ping-Pong table for playing Ping-Pong