Well, rose lovers, we’re down to just one controversial contestant on this season of The Bachelorette. Lincoln and his floor-pooping, indecent-assaulting ways are history, meaning Garrett is the last remaining contestant with a highly unfortunate past… as far as we know. There are only six guys left on Becca’s “journey”! But once again, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s recap this week, shall we?
After the two-on-one became a zero-on-one last week, Becca told the guys about their exciting new destination.
Um, okay? What follows is a 30-second free advertisement for Richmond, Virginia, narrated by Becca herself. (Man, I hope Team Bachelorette was able to milk a ton of free stuff out of the tourism board.) The good news is, we also get our first pre-date debrief with Chris Harrison.
The host gently teases the Bachelorette for reading two wedding magazines on the plane, adding, “That’s where this should be going.” Should, yes. Will? That’s doubtful. But let’s not get bogged down in reality right now. Instead, let’s watch the guys make contractually obligated Virginia puns.
Oooof — that had to hurt.
The first one-on-one of the week goes to Jason, who’s been waiting six long weeks to break out his special hair gel for the occasion. But his celebration is cut short by bickering between Chris and Lincoln, who get into a weird pissing match about a hypothetical two-on-one date. “It was so stupid,” Garrett sighs. “It’s like Dumb and Dumber, but I don’t know which one is which.” Jason slips out quietly, which is probably a smart move, because now Chris and Lincoln have moved on from fake dates to hurtful accusations.
“It’s exhausting,” groans Colton of the bickering. “It’s very apparent that the wheels on the bus have come all the way off.”
That’s for sure. Let’s join Jason and Becca on their date, as they travel around Richmond in a quaint trolley visiting historical landmarks, a donut bakery, and the Edgar Allen Poe museum.
After a brief stop at the museum’s Unhappy Hour and some making out on the trolley, Becca brings Jason to a local pub… where three of his good friends are waiting! Jason is so surprised he tears up, and I’ll admit, it’s pretty sweet. The guys say nice things about Jason to Becca, and Jason says nice things about Becca to the guys. The only unsettling part of the whole encounter is that everyone is drinking beer out of wine glasses, but you gotta take the good with the bad, I suppose.
That night, Jason tells Becca that while he may have run from “tough conversations” in the past, he’s been able to “put it out there” with her. He also relates a heartbreaking story about the time he and his father went to visit his grandma, who had Alzheimer’s, and she didn’t recognize her own son. “It was probably the worst moment he ever had in his life,” Jason says of his dad. “I could see the pain in his eyes, but he didn’t express it. And I never told him this, I saw him turn the corner and he was bawling his eyes out.” And if that isn’t sad enough, now Becca’s talking about losing her father at 19: “I watched him take his last breath.”
Can we take a break? I need a minute. (Next: The not-so-great debate)