It's two-on-one date time!
How is there still so much time left in this episode? Oh, of course — because we’ve still got the “Chris is feeling salty about the group date” issue to deal with. “Becca definitely needs to win me over,” he says. “She needs to show me something that says, ‘Chris, I want you here.’”
Funnily enough, Becca feels the same way about him! She’s “confused” because Chris didn’t seek her out during the group date after-party, and of course she is the Bachelorette — so the onus of seeking is on him. Becca also reveals that she “found out” (read: producers informed her) that Chris was grousing earlier about “not wanting to be here” and so on. “I don’t know where his head’s at right now,” she says. As soon as they sit down, Chris explains exactly what he’s thinking:
But Becca is not about to be scolded by this scruffy-faced tool bag. “I felt like you didn’t take the initiative to come find me,” Becca counters, adding that hearing he “might not want to be here” was particularly frustrating. “I want a teammate, 50-50,” she says. “And I feel like that night, that didn’t happen.” Chris then has the audacity to claim that he didn’t say he was thinking about going home — even though he said it on camera. “I said, ‘Should I go home, because I feel like maybe she’s not interested in me.’”
Liar, liar, hair gel on fire. Becca knows he’s full of crap.
“You’ve given me a lot that I need to process,” she tells him. “I’m gonna go, because I’m getting frustrated.” Ditto! At this point, I literally started chanting, “Send him home! Send him home!” at my screen. “She doesn’t want me here, man,” groans Chris, on the verge of tears. But rather than walking away with his tail between his legs, he decides to “be a man” — and by that I mean, “force Becca to talk to him even though she already asked him to leave her alone.”
Becca is in the middle of talking to Wills, and when Chris interrupts interrupt, she tries to politely brush him off: “We just sat down,” she says. “Two minutes ago.” Rather than saying, “Oh, okay, my apologies, I’ll come back,” Chris instead asks Wills if he can interrupt their chat. So what if Becca made it clear that she doesn’t want to talk to him right now? We all know a man is legally allowed to overrule any decision a woman makes! Wills, irritated but composed, agrees to give Chris two minutes.
The Bachelorette listens silently as Chris tries to dig himself out of the “you owe me” hole, but he’s barely pushed his shovel into the ground before Wills returns and asks him to leave. (Watch their interaction here.) “You had your time tonight,” says Wills. “I’d like to have my time as well.” Chris pushes and pushes, trying to strong-arm Wills into giving him more time, but he is, in a word, unsuccessful.
Before things get fisticuffs-level tense, Becca assures Chris that she’ll come find him later if he just will GTFO now. Chris does the tough-guy long-stare thing, attempting to intimidate Wills with his scruffy face, but our man in plaid does not back down. Chris skulks away, and Becca and Wills resume their pleasant conversation.
Later, back on the couches, Garrett tells Chris that he’s on Wills’ side in the Great Interruption Debate of 2018 — and Chris immediately starts getting worked up, saying he’s being falsely accused of “attacking” his fellow suitors, and everyone’s “acting like a victim.” (Never mind that no one said anything to that effect.)
But Becca is true to her word, and she eventually returns to listen yet again to Chris’s weak explanations. “The old me would have probably left,” he says. “But the new me realizes what I have in front of me…. I f—ed up.” Wait, is the “old” Chris the Chris from 24 hours ago? And the “new” Chris is the Chris from 20 minutes ago? Hard to say. The only thing that’s clear is that no one — except possibly producers — wants Chris to get a rose tonight.
Clink, clink, clink! Chris Harrison and his Butter Knife of Bad News announces that it’s time for the poolside rose ceremony.
Garrett, Jason, Wills, Lincoln, Leo, Connor, and Chris (arrrrrgh) join Blake and Colton in the safe zone, which means this is the end for John the Venmo Guy. Bummer! If it’s too late for Paradise, perhaps we’ll see John again on Bachelor Winter Games? After all, he won the lumberjack competition, so we know he’s athletic.
Welp, rose lovers, it’s time to put Sin City in the rearview mirror. Before you go, let me know your thoughts about tonight’s episode. Is there any chance Becca still likes Chris, or is she just following producers’ orders? Do you loves Wills as much as I do? And how long do you think it took the hotel spa to find a gold face mask for Jordan? Post your thoughts below! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go iron my jeans.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.