Well, Bachelor Nation, on the one hand, it feels like Rachel’s journey has just begun and we’re already one week away from hometowns. And on the other hand, this feels like the longest season ever. From looking at the guys, I’d say they’re firmly on Team Is This Over Yet, because Rachel quite literally has to yell at them to “stand up!” when she enters a room.
Now in Geneva, Switzerland, Rachel gives the guys an update on how the week is going to go: There won’t be a rose ceremony, but instead, Rachel will have three one-on-one dates followed by a three-on-one. In other words, you will soon know which guys she likes the most by which ones get the one-on-one dates. And not surprisingly, Bryan is up first.
Wait, did Adam just say he NOW feels like he’s at a disadvantage… because before this, he was a shoe-in?
For Bryan’s date, Rachel is ready to treat her man, and that involves wearing fancy clothes, driving a nice car, and buying him a new watch! And for the poor watch salesman, that means having to watch Bryan quite literally tackle Rachel with his mouth. Needless to say, by the time Bryan stopped kissing her, that salesman was long gone. (Also, the prices of those watches probably just went up.)
“This is a forever gift,” Bryan says about a watch, a.k.a. something that has a battery that will die. But he’s feeling good, so we’ll go with it.
From there, the two enjoy a boat ride while Adam and Matt sit back at the hotel at what I like to call the Underdog Table. All Adam knows is that he “wants to be the broom that sweeps her off the feet.” So while Matt hopefully explains that there isn’t actually supposed to be a broom in that scenario, Rachel and Bryan are sipping champagne from tiny glasses while they discuss all the ways they work as a couple. Rachel loves that she’s told him about her weaknesses and he hasn’t run away. Bryan refuses to let her mess this up, and she needs someone who does that.
She also needs to find a cameraman who can hold a camera still as they walk into the evening portion of their date. Getting to the family talk, Rachel asks about Bryan’s upbringing, and he mentions that his mom sent him to an all-boys private school because he asked for an earring. But he swears he wasn’t a bad kid! (You know, because most of the good kids just really wanted to study and also pierce their ears.)
But Rachel can relate because she also went to private school, a fact that prompts Bryan to ask her if she wore a uniform because “I want to picture you in your uniform, your little schoolgirl outfit.” SHE WAS A CHILD. (Looks like we might’ve found the reason “too good to be true” Bryan is still single.)
(Next: Bryan gets the first rose of the week)