The guys pose for a calendar, Ali goes on individual dates, and the season's first villain emerges
Anyway, the upshot was that she was into Frank. ”I met a guy today who made me believe that everything I’m looking for is possible,” Ali voice-overed. And there was more making out. Yay. He got a rose for the night.
Anyone who doesn’t think men get bitchy need only watch this episode for counter-evidence. There were more hints at tension between Craig R. and our beloved wrestler Rated R, Justin. The two had a weird exchange back at the house in which Craig R. seemed unnecessarily upset by the fact that Justin told him on the first night that he was in real estate and gym management but saved his wrestling revelation for Ali. He punctuated this with yet another unclever play on Justin’s wrestling name (”rated I don’t believe a word you say”), a trope I am so tired of that I’m going to start rooting against Justin just so I don’t have to hear any more.
The real bitchery, however, came courtesy of hair-guy Craig M.’s bullying of the poor, defenseless weatherman, Jonathan. ”I’m going to have to hang out with Craig M., which is absolutely terrible,” Jonathan said of their impending group date. ”He is not a good person.” Craig M. tried, briefly, to pick on the muscled, gorgeous, tattooed Jesse: ”I want to know what Ali’s going to think when she sees your [bleep]ing tattoos. Are you serious? Did your mom do that for you?” Jesse’s response: ”I don’t talk shit. I just hit.” That was pretty much the end of that, and it was back to targeting Jonathan for Craig M.
So then 12 guys went on a ”date” with Ali to a beach house in Malibu, which was ostensibly planned that way so she could make the most of her Britney Spears (on a good day) hair extensions and enviable abs. It was also planned with little regard for Justin’s hobbled, crutch-laden state, as he had to make it down massive stairs and across the sand. But I continued to be distracted from this by Ali’s abs — or, more accurately, my sudden desire to get down on the floor and do 300 crunches. Once I finished that, I noticed that they were shooting a ”sexy guy calendar” as their ”date,” which is a great coincidence since I just did that on my last date. Small world. While Ali was ”really grateful” that they got ”the opportunity to give back” — it was some kind of charity thing, I guess — Weatherman was still bitching about Hairman: ”The amount I want a rose is equal to how much of a dick Craig M. is.” (Presumably, quite a bit.)
NEXT: Jonathan makes a forecast